Just Breathe

I finally watched Conan's final episode on The Tonight Show. Kind of emotional, right? And I can't believe how classy he was about everything. What's also funny is hearing some of the stuff that Letterman was saying about Leno, and how they came up with the retirement agreement thing to avoid the fiasco they had when Leno took over the Tonight Show in the first place. Like everyone else, I loved his parting thoughts, and in case you haven't caught them yet or didn't really get a true sense of what he was saying from seeing everyone quote his cynicism point, here it is:

He just seems like a genuinely good guy. And who knew he could wail on the guitar? I'm with Coco.

I don't have much else people. I need to work on some school stuff. Oh...for you Angels fans, tomorrow I get to go to a meet and greet with Mike Scioscia. Yup. You better believe it!

Good things are happening, people. I almost feel like I should be checking to see if the sky will be falling anytime soon just because I have been feeling so good about everything for awhile now. But until then...here's a song to take with you for the weekend.

Have a great one, y'all!

Away From Here

• Was talking to a friend yesterday, the one that's compiling the breakup songs, and I shared one of mine which is a punk song. She immediately turned up her nose and asked if liking punk music is a regional thing, like techno is for Europeans. I agreed at first, but I think it's more a cultural-attitude kind of thing. Europeans have a brand of punk music. Chileans liked it. I used to hear it all the time down there as a missionary, and no, not because I brought it with me and listened to it of my own accord. Like in the streets. I really miss that about South America - that music was always blasting from people's homes and no one thought twice about it. Anyway, it has a lot to do with the skater/surfer/snowboarder culture, and isn't limited to Southern California. While a lot of it is kind rebellious, a lot of it is also rooted in positivity that seems to escape many other brands of music. Anyway, the post title actually comes from a British punk song that I've come to appreciate because it's so wonderfully British punk rock. I don't know how to describe that brand of punk, but this song screams it.





• Insight/inspiration/revelation is funny and amazing thing. I feel like I've been doing a really good job lately on keeping my thoughts centered on good things, and it's funny how I see that evidenced throughout my day. Lately I've been studying judgment v. condemnation, and out of nowhere while I was walking to my car from school the thought popped into my head about how restraining prejudiced attitudes towards others is entirely related to extending forgiveness to all people, and I had never made that connection before, but it made perfect sense to me. This morning I was reading about relational ontology for my personality class (which, hopefully, I'll take the time to explain at some point), and then I had a few thoughts materialize out of nowhere about how I can be more productive and how I should alter my prayers. It's just amazing thinking about how God can be involved in the details of our lives if we have our eyes opened to it. Not really related, but if "details" are the small things, then what's the word for big things? Now, more related, while Heavenly Father is completely aware of those "big things" that we have going on, what an incredible evidence it is of his intimate love for us as his children that he would get involved in the minutia of our day to day lives, like how I can avoid being lazy and just get more stuff done. Even those little things matter, and that is so comforting to know.
• I can't describe how much I'm loving this personality class. Usually I'm mostly engaged in my readings, but when I read about this stuff I can't believe how interested I am in the material. It almost feels like there is never enough, and I am almost sorry that there isn't more reading when I finish it for the week. I'll really do my best to share some of the stuff we've been learning about, and hopefully I can do it justice, because it's really abstract and those things are hard to explain without being overly wordy. But I tend to do that anyway, so maybe it'll work out fine.
• I know that you guys very rarely click on the links that I post on here, but if you ever do click on one, I hope that you would click here. No, it's nothing political or anything like that, because that's so boring and lame, right? I'll just post the intro to the post here:

  Anyway, when we have leftover dinner, the permanent roommate packs us both a lunch. Since they look identical, she started leaving a Post-It note so I would know which lunch was mine. At first they just said Chris but I guess she got bored with just writing my name. She started writing funny messages. I saved my favorites.

  And here's an example...




So cute, right? I was reading them thinking about how much I wanted to be married to someone like that, and then I realized that we all would probably want that. Anyway, follow the link, there are more.

• That's all folks!
  

Love Stinks

***UPDATE***The image on the video was getting more attention than the actual post. The song I had posted was actually pretty funny, and country-folksy, and the image had very little to do with the actual song, but y'all got pretty sidetracked by the image. So here's another from the breakup song list. Enyoi!

Not really, but dating sure does. A friend of a friend just went through a "violent" breakup, and my friend is compiling a breakup song compilation, which by the way, is probably one of the most fun and easiest playlists to make. Listening to those songs and the ones she's found has been really funny to me, mostly because I'm not currently going through that heartache, but I'm reminded of all of the old (sometimes pathetic) feelings I had. I think I've come a long way, Deborah, but I'm glad that what I had with you is in the rear view mirror.


Anyway, some of the sad stories I've heard lately:

• Girl likes guy, but guy is about a 7 hour drive away, and in the past he's been terrible at keeping up contact.
  
• Girl gets out of long relationship, finds herself in a new one, but circumstances make the new one difficult.
• Girl likes boy who carries the baggage of just recently exiting a two year relationship.
• Boy is trying to wrestle outside of his weight class, figuratively, and faces the frustration of being in between the types of girls that he attracts and then ones that he is attracted to.
  
• Girl likes boy, but boy is showing most of the signs of interest without asking her on dates.

Long distance. Prior relationship baggage. Liking someone who's just not interested. People sending mixed signals. Just bad circumstances. All of it just kinda makes you crazy, ya know? You do things that you know are against your better judgment. You call when you shouldn't. You make yourself too available. You show too much interest. Pretty much it boils down to you saying or doing the opposite of what you know you should be doing.

When I'm interested in someone, and I'm left without the devices of being able to show direct interest, I find myself asking stupid questions all the time. Is she noticing me? When I'm around her, am I being witty? smart? Am I engaging in conversation? How's my social capital? Is my stock up? Do these jeans work with this shirt? Do I have a booger on my face? Does her roommate like me? Do I like her roommate? Am I too honest? Not honest enough?

You get insecure about the dumbest things, and what's worse, you just can't stop thinking about any of it. You know that you shouldn't worry about things over which you can't control and that haven't happened yet, but you can't help but pour over the prospect of the present and the future with that person. I was telling a friend of mine the other night that it's exactly like when you tell a person to not think about an elephant, and then you can't help but think about the elephant.

Only the elephant, in this case, threatens to trample over you both physically and emotionally. This huge creature with a magnetic draw over you get inside of your mind and he just scrambles your brain, rendering you otherwise useless.

But then sometimes you get the carrot and everything seems worth it. Here's to finding something lasting!

I Get By With A Little Help

I've said this before, but I really admire the people in my life. Somehow I feel like I've always been so tremendously blessed to associate with what I feel like are the best people this world has to offer.

• I think my favorite thing about my parents is that they are the hardest working people I know. They definitely have their faults, but they do anything to provide and make themselves available the best they know how. My dad definitely isn't the most in tune person with feelings and such, and talking with him on the phone is the absolute worst, but anytime I'm home and around him, I always feel like I'm the most important person to him. And that's weird too because he seems so inattentive in other ways, but I've learned more and more as I've gotten older what things he does do well, and that is certainly one of them. When I'm in his presence, I feel like there isn't anyone he loves more than me. My mom is flat out the most giving person I've ever known. She would sooner give you the last $5 she has in her pocket than keep it for herself. Maybe all parents are like that, but I honestly feel like she does more for the people around her than anyone I've ever known. And my brother...he's just always been my hero. The guy has a moral compass like you wouldn't believe. I just love that about him.
  
• Among all the great qualities about my best friend, one of my favorites is that he is probably the most thoughtful person I've ever met. His older brother is actually very much the same way. I actually remember when we first started hanging out in the 8th grade and noticing how aware they were of other people and really admiring and wanting to be like that. He's probably the best gift giver I know of, but maybe that's just because he knows me better than any person on the planet. But that's the thing about him too, he just notices those kinds of things about people. He's so attentive to his wife. I think one of the reasons I love his wife is because of the kind of person that she makes him. He is a better person because of her.
  
• Both of my roommates are just the nicest guys in the world. One of them just always wants other people to be happy and having a good time. And he's kind of adorable because he's just a really simple person, but he's always wanting to provide for other people in so many different ways. Like a few months ago there was a girl that I had mentioned having some interest in, and so he would actually look for her in church for me, even before I could, and always go and sit by her so that when I found him I would also find her. It seems small, but he's just always doing those kinds of things. My other roommate is completely devoted to his family. He has a brother that's down in San Diego that was moving a couple months ago, and he actually took a Friday off from work, flew down, and helped his brother move his entire house the whole weekend, then flew right back up. I've also known him to fly down a couple of times just to accompany his brother on the 12 hour drive from San Diego to Ogden, Utah, while his brother's wife and children flew in to town. I know some people that hardly lift a finger for their own family that are living in the same city, but he'll take off work and pay for his own flight down to help out his siblings. And he's like that with all of his siblings; there are seven others.
• My friends here in Utah are just all so great. I feel so fortunate to have built up a network of people here that I really admire. The funny thing is that a lot of these people I probably wouldn't have picked out right away to be friends with, especially in my younger days, but because I didn't know anybody when I came up here, I just opened up to whomever made themselves available to me, and over time, I've been able to meet so many great people. As a whole, about them I can say that they are all so kind, creative in their own ways, and real. They all have so many life experiences, and none of them are very shy about it, so there's so much that I feel like I gain from their insight.
• I've even been lucky enough to date really great girls. What I think I can about all of them is that they have all been smart, and they're all really fun to talk to. I guess the conversation aspect of a girl must be the thing I most value because with every single one of them, I feel like I could spend hours on end just sitting around and chatting. They've all been really insightful, and I'm grateful for the experiences I've had knowing them.
  

I don't know. I was just thinking about a lot of these people on Sunday and I felt so grateful just to know them. There is supposed to be a mutual level of exchange when it comes to relationships, but I always feel like I'm the primary beneficiary. It's so surprising to me how many people I just love hearing from - their stories, what's going on in their lives, how they're feeling.

I was visiting with one friend last night, and most of our association has been in a pretty rough period of life for her, but lately she's been doing pretty well, so it's nice to get to know her as she's been feeling more on top of things. Then later last night I was chatting with one of my closest friends, and I was marveling at how well things have turned out for him with school and finally finding some direction. It's really obvious seeing the Lord's hand in his life the last two years. I don't know. I just love hearing all this stuff, and I love the people in my life.

I'm pretty sure I did a post just like this a couple months ago, and maybe even with the same title, but I feel like I have to give tribute to those around me. I'm glad to know y'all.

For The Weekend

I couldn't in good conscience leave you with only the Baja Men, so try this one for size. Have a great one, y'all!

Who Let the Dogs Out?

This is an Impromptu's piece...

• You know what amazes me? Prayer. I don't know if your prayers resemble anything like my own, but there are certain stable things that I'll pray for all the time, and I have to admit, in a somewhat half-hearted manner only because it seems like such a far off thing. Like you might pray for world peace, but it's hard to imagine that happening any time soon, right? There are those kinds of abstract, intangible things that you pray for, like say, help me be a better person, and it seems vague and kind of lame to pray for, but that you do honestly hope comes to pass. What's really cool is that when you've been praying for something like that over the course of at least months, and maybe even years, and then you finally start seeing it becoming a reality. I feel like I've been praying for one of those types of things, and I'm actually starting to see those prayers bear fruits and it blows my mind that God is actually mindful of what can seem to be like such a menial request. Ask and ye shall receive...
• I started writing a journal again, but like really writing. I know the blog might seem very personal, but there's actually a lot that I don't cover here. I didn't do the thing I normally do where I write one day for the first time in months, try and catch up on everything that's been happening since the last time I wrote, wherein I apologized and agonized for not having written in so long, and vow never to do so again, only to have it happen again the very next time. Instead I just wrote about that day, and I've been doing that all this week, and I'm amazed at how much it helps me to be more self-aware. It's incredibly beneficial. I shouldn't be so surprised, but I totally am. Know something funny about me? Without any prompting or anything, the times when I was a most faithful journal writer (besides the mission) was when I was like 12-16. And I didn't grow up in the church setting where people were always encouraging that sort of thing either. I was a weird, introspective little kid.
• I am loving, loving, loving my personality class. It is about to spawn a really long and thoughtful post.
• I had my Itunes on shuffle earlier this morning, and this song came on and I started laughing out loud. How in the world did this song become so popular? I was on my mission when it released, and my favorite memory attached to this song was in a district meeting, and Hermana Gee talking about something funny that happened in the week. She was on a bus with a native sister where the song was playing (that's common in Latin America), and the girl asked Hermana Gee to translate the song. She hadn't been paying attention until that moment, and she started translating, "quien solto los perros, quien, quien...wait...what the???" I loved Hermana Gee. She was so down to earth and just awesome. So, for your pleasure...The Baja Men!
  

Sporting News

I'm loving the NFL right now. The weird thing is that I haven't even sat through one entire playoff game yet. I don't think that has ever happened to me. The one game that I did catch a good amount of was last week's Vikings v. Cowboys game. I knew that Brett Favre had a good season, but I had no idea how good until I saw his numbers - 4000+ yards, 30+ touchdowns, 7 interceptions, 68% completion percentage. That is unbelievable. Serious. Even in his best seasons he would be hard pressed to match that feat. This season is by far his best touchdown-interception ratio, by far his highest QB rating, and his highest completion percentage ever. For everyone that ever complains about him and his on again off again retirement thing, wouldn't you pay money to see him play or sit glued to the TV anytime his team is on? The guy is so fun to watch. And not only that, but he really is just a big kid who loves the game, as evidenced by this video after last week's win.

The coolest thing is that he really does play his entire game shooting from the hip. The best moment of last week's game was when the Cowboys blitzed and he throws one of his Brett Favre entire body throws and it lands perfectly in the receiver's stride right around the defender. It's just so cool to see.

The Angels picked up Joel Piniero. Yay? He's okay. He'll be another Jon Garland or Paul Byrd - log lots of innings, have about a 4.00 ERA, back of the rotation guy. I think I'm gonna go to this dinner with Mike Scioscia next week. That should be interesting.

The Raiders still suck.

The Lakers are good, but I'm a little concerned. They have a lot of nagging injuries. Tonight will be a fun game though.

How about them Cougars basketball? Don't worry. We'll lose in the first round of the tournament.

I thought I was going to have more to talk about with sports, but I'm just kinda not in the mood. I was all set to be really, really excited for both Conference championship games in the NFL, but then the Chargers just laid down and let the Jets walk all over them. The NFC game should be awesome, and I just hope the Jets don't go to the Super Bowl. That would be way boring. But the part I may be most excited about is that I'm gonna make the Reid specialty dip with lots of cheese and junk. It's soooooooooooooooo good.

Acquiring and Rediscovering Tastes

Acquired tastes are a funny thing, aren't they? It always seems the case that if it's something that you have to acquire and labor to do so, then why even bother in the first place. There are enough things out there that you like right off the bat. Or so it would seem, because for those of you who have bothered acquiring certain tastes, you could hardly stand to live without them now, am I right?

Running has become an acquired taste for me. Maybe some people love it right off the bat, but I was definitely not one of those people. I hated it. I cannot emphasize that more. Hated. Running. And I have always been a soccer player, a sport which requires more running probably than any other sport, but somehow it seemed so entirely different running around to chase after the ball, or to run towards the goal. And it is. It's completely different than just running with no other object in mind. Dave can attest to this, but I even hated running so much that I would skip out on summer league practices because I just wanted nothing to do with the fitness part. And in high school, I could not run 2 miles to save my life. Seriously. My back would start to give out and I was not physically capable of doing it. I've since learned that it was because of a certain type of sit-up we were doing that really was doing more harm to my back then good to my abs.

Then, I don't know what happened. Becca begged me to run a 5k with her, and I thought it was the stupidest idea, but I did it anyway. I had fun. Still didn't like running yet, though. And it was about two years ago that I decided to run a marathon. I still hadn't acquired a taste for running yet, either, but I thought that would be something I wanted to accomplish. Not until after I ran Chicago that I learned to enjoy it. Now I can't get enough of it. I still hate marathon training, but if I have time to kill on a Saturday morning, there's little else that I would like to do more than just run for an hour or two.

Sushi was another acquired taste. I couldn't stand even the thought of it. Raw fish? Just eat it? Then one Saturday night when I had nothing to do a friend invited me out, and I turned on adventure mode, decided I would try it and enjoy it, and then to my surprise, I did. Now it's one of my favorite things to eat in the whole world. Once you open yourself up to Asian cuisine, it's seriously like discovering a whole new world of flavors that you never had any idea even existed. It's like my mouth had been watching TV in black and white only to discover that there were color televisions to be had.

Golf is like that too. Just about anyone who knows me can attest to it. I just really didn't care for golf. It's not that I hated it, but spending $30-50 on a round of golf seemed like a waste of money to me. Then I flipped my switch, went with the Reids, and now I really want to play all the time.

Anyway, all this stuff was inspired by Jay Nordlinger's Impromptu's column this morning, and what he had to say about golf:

I don’t know what your experience has been, but I’ve found that I can’t lead someone to like golf, or appreciate golf. You kind of can’t tell people about golf — they have to discover it for themselves. It’s hard to talk to people about religion, or music, or certain other things. They either come into an appreciation or they do not.

I was having this conversation with a friend last week about acquired tastes, and I was agreeing with her just for the sake of being agreeable. That's kind of a stable characteristic about me, probably because I really don't care for people who are contrary all the time. I find it annoying. But then I started thinking about my acquired tastes, and now they're things I can hardly live without. When I have to hold off on running I get irritable. I haven't had sushi in months, but I think about it almost everyday, itching for the next chance I get to have it.

I think my reading has taken this turn lately also. I saw a part of the movie Roxanne, and I completely forgot that it was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Something funny about me, I was an incredible romantic as a child. I was always so enamored with knights and chivalry, and I loved poetry, and I loved the story of Cyrano de Bergerac and just the idea that a person could be so inwardly beautiful that even his outward flaws wouldn't matter. So watching that movie the other night prompted me to buy the book. And now I just feel like reading classics. I'm thisclose to buying the collected works of Shakespeare.

Anyway, acquired tastes are some of the best tastes that you'll ever experience because in a certain sense, it's almost like you're paying a price to get them in the first place. Now it actually has cost you something to have it, and that has adds some value for you.

You can lead a horse to water...and then the horse ends up thirsty because you drank all the water yourself because you know how good it is.

Couple of Items...

• I never seem to know when a post will strike a chord with people, so it's funny to me when a post will get so much response. Today's was one of those. I got several texts and chats from people wondering who I was referring to. If you're wondering if it's you, well you're just never going to know. Most of the people who peruse Rollin' in my 6-4 (InclinedtoRecline) actually don't cross paths, so y'all are never gonna know if I'm referring to someone in one camp or another. The funny thing is that I'm not really fuming at anyone or anything, but sometimes a subject just comes across better when it gets injected with vigor, know what I mean?

Back to less exciting stuff...

• My new running shoes arrived in the mail today. It was actually even nice enough out to go running outside in a t-shirt and shorts, that is, if you're an idiot (e.g. me). Most of the run was pretty pleasant, but it got kind of cold towards the end. It was my first run in months that I ran without a specific destination, time, or distance in mind and I always seem to forget that those end up being some of my favorite runs. You push through various aches and pains until you finally hit your running stride where you're not thinking about how hard it is to breathe or how your arch hurts or whatever, and then you're just in the flow. I think the optimal time for that window is between 40 minutes and 2 hours. That will sound crazy to some of you, but I swear it's the best length of time to run.
• I've been listening to podcasts from The Moth because I'm all up to date on This American Life, and I think I really like it. They're true stories from typical people performed at some club or bar in New York. Storytelling is a skill that I really love and that I'd love to develop. You wanna know a tradition that I want to start some day? For Halloween I want to have a storytelling night where a group of us gather around a fire or some candle light and everyone rehearses stories and then presents them to the group. I think the only rules would be that everyone has to participate who is present, and stories must be at least a minute long, but no longer than 15 minutes.
  

There are various tools available to a storyteller, from tone of voice, to humor, and even seemingly unrelated things like well planned tangential remarks. I listened to this one guy tell a mostly unremarkable story about his childhood, but because his cadence and delivery were so unusual, it totally worked. I'm not a performer by any means, but I think it would be really fun to have everyone work on something for a few weeks and then bring it all to enjoy together in what's hopefully a safe and inviting atmosphere. I have some friends that are really funny and really great storytellers to begin with, so I think there is a lot of potential there as it stands. Plus, that's something kind of unique, but that I think would be really fun. Or no?

• Because I've heard a few questions/remarks about the topic since I mentioned it on here, my GPA as an undergrad was still good, about a 3.7. The problem has never been to get good grades, but just caring enough to invest the time to get straight A's. I always tend to have my hand in a lot of different baskets so grades tend to dip a little bit. During my last two years as an undergrad at BYU I took more than 16 credits a semester, worked about 20-25 hours a week, was a member of a student editorial board for the Journal of College Counseling, and had multiple research projects while studying for the GRE, applying to grad schools, and with a serious girlfriend. So lay off of me. It's not like I was just messing around.
• My pillow post prompted a conversation with a friend about making my own pillows, and upon consulting with other friends more knowledgeable about the subject than myself, I have since decided that I'm going to try and make my own. They're just pillows. I've gutted and remodeled a whole bathroom, I think I can make a pillow. It's not rocket science, right? I'm gonna figure this one out.
• I was reading an article tonight for my MBA class about motivation, and one of the topics they mention in there is self-efficacy, which is this: Self-efficacy is the strong belief, the conviction that "I can cause...I can bring about...I can make happen..." It has mostly to do with how effective you believe you are. As evidenced by the last bullet point, my self-efficacy is very high. I think I can pretty much do anything if I try hard enough. I think this is part of why my modesty score on that personality test was so low.
• I saw Invictus on Monday. I liked it more than The Blindside, partly because I'm too familiar with the real story of The Blindside because I read the book, but mostly because I hate that The Blindside is a feel good movie that is masquerading as a sports movie. There is like one football scene. I also don't like that most of the male portrayals in The Blindside are kind of moronic, weak, or otherwise submissive, while the only strong person is Sandra Bullock. In the book, the father and the coach actually have a much bigger role in Oher's life. In the book you get the feeling of 'it takes a village to raise a child', whereas the movie gives this sense of 'it takes one sassy white woman to change a black kid' vibe, and I don't care for that so much.

That's all I got for tonight. Peace!

Smugness

Let me tell you about something I hate - smugness. You want to know something that bothers me even more? I can think of many times in my own sordid past when I have been the one committing this sin. I'm going to admit something to you that I hate to admit: right around the time when I was leaving on my mission, and soon after I got into the MTC, I had an incredible air of self-righteousness. One of my friends that was also serving a mission had a girlfriend that he left behind that I thought he was maybe too focused on, so I wrote him a letter telling him to redirect his energies away from her and back toward the mission. All that may not sound that bad, but you also don't know the feeling I put into that letter and what an incredible moron I was for thinking I had the market cornered on being a haughty 19 year old missionary who knew everything about anything. Dave and Laura can probably guess who I wrote that letter to. I've since apologized, and every time I think about it, I want to apologize again, which may even happen shortly after I finish this post.

There are different manifestations of it, but it often gets expressed in a form such as, "well so and so has (or hasn't ever) done this or that," or, "I would(not) do this or that." Usually said with arms folded, with a smile showing no teeth, and typically comes as a statement that leaves a lot of implied things that aren't actually stated. Something along the lines of, "Well I would never have done that (so you are an idiot for doing so)." With the arms folded.

It also often gets an additional clause in there that helps alert you right away that the person has no idea what he or she is talking about: Well, when I get married/have kids/etc. I will always (never) such and such. The fact remains that you are not at that point so you don't have any idea what the heck you will or won't do.

Here's what I see as the source of smugness: ignorance borne of inexperience, or some other lack of knowledge. It's making assumptions about things that you just don't know much, if anything, about. In the last month or so I have run into several prime examples of smugness, which often doubles as a general overriding feeling of douchebaggery, and I could just as well punch it right in the face. I want to hit it right in the middle of the face where it would break the bridge of the nose and would leave a forever reminder of why it ever happened in the first place. Don't fold your arms at me, and wipe that smirk off your face.

You can go to hell smugness. I want no part of you.

Exploring the World of Decorative Pillows

Yup, it happened yesterday. We don't have any pillows on our couches in our living room, and the arm rests are way too high and very firm, so they're not conducive at all for napping making out, so there's a need. The problem is that they actually want more than $2 for those things. And there's also the problem of trying to match our couches, or our ugly mustardy-brown walls.

Well, I went ahead and got some. They don't really match anything. They cost me $20 for a pair, and that was actually cheap, which is news to me. But they're comfy, and there will be fewer cricks in necks from napping making out so much.

School, School, School

You know what's funny to me? Stress. It has a way of really sharpening your senses. The other day I was starting to stress a little about my thesis and figuring how I was going to turn my topic into a workable project, and while I was sitting in class with the professor that I'm supposed to meet with immediately after class to tell him about what ideas I had come up with over the break (Me+thinking over the Christmas break=just me still, because thinking over the break amounted to ZERO), I came up with what seems like will be a pretty awesome project. It's pretty simple, but I think it has a great twist on the way I want to look at the topic of same-sex sexual harassment. I'm actually really proud of my idea, so much so that I don't think I've come up with anything better since I've been in this Round 2 of grad school, but I can't share it until I carry it out. If you want to ask me privately, that's cool.

You know what else is funny? MBA students. The classes with them are so different. All of the students seem very extroverted, everyone dresses professionally, and everyone has their laptops out. You know what else? We clap at the end of every class. I had never even heard of that before, but of course I joined in while everyone started doing it.

When I'm standing on my own two feet, I feel pretty proud of myself and who I am, but when I'm in my classes with all of these other grad students, I feel like just another face in the crowd. It's hard to tell how tall a sequoia is when it's standing in a forest full of other sequoias, you know what I mean? And not to say that I'm overly impressive, but I feel pretty content with who I am overall, that is, until I get around these other people and I feel like I have do something special to shine, because everyone likes shining, right?

Today I was in my personality class and we were talking about a lot of really abstract ideas, and then I started to piece together therapies, and laughed at myself thinking that I would start analyzing people in that way. But then I realized that I was in a grad school class with one of the country's most prominent psychologists with other clinical and counseling students, and this information and these approaches to therapy actually are seminal to their professional careers as therapists. I just am in the class because I thought it was interesting and like the professor. Maybe I'll try and explain some of what we were talking about in class on here later because it has a lot of gospel application as well.

I have the utmost respect for all of my professors this semester. They are all so knowledgeable and personable, and I love it. I'm pretty sure this will be my favorite semester ever.

Peace, and be blessed, y'all!

Help Haiti

There are many easy ways to donate to relief efforts in Haiti. The NY Times posted a list of organizations that you can donate to, and you can find that by clicking here. Here are several ways you can do it just by texting on your cell phone:

• Text the word “Yele” to 501501 to donate $5 on behalf of the Yéle Foundation, the leading contributor to rebuilding Haiti founded by Wyclef Jean.
• Text the word “Haiti” to 85944 to donate $5 on behalf of the Rescue Union Mission and MedCorp International.
• Text the word “Haiti” to 25383 to donate $5 On behalf of the Internal Rescue Committee.
• Text the word “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 On behalf of the Red Cross in the U.S.
• Text the word “Haiti” to 45678 (in Canada only) on behalf of the Salvation Army in Canada.
  

And, always my favorite, go here to donate through the Church's humanitarian services.

A quick plug for America: when you are giving, remember that you are doing it as a member of the most charitable country in the world. It's not only because we have the most wealth, but we give more proportionally than any other nation on this planet. That's a fact. I have a post about it brewing. Anyway, any amount that you can offer I'm sure will go a long ways.

2010 Resolutions

I was going to review the resolutions I made last year and then go through a checklist of what things I accomplished and what things I didn't, but I decided against that because I didn't really keep track of most of them after a few months. I had a resolution to run 1000 miles, be better about budgeting, studying scriptures and temple attendance, to have my thesis defended, and a few others. Turns out I only ran about 700 miles, which I think is actually pretty good still. If I didn't hurt my knee in October/November, I think I would have logged at least 100 more miles than I did. I'm actually pretty good with my budgeting lately. Scripture study and temple attendance are not as consistent as I'd like them to be. Still working on my thesis. Well, anyway, on my drive back to Utah from home, I started making a list of things I'd like to accomplish this upcoming year. This is what (hopefully) I have to look forward to:

• Straight A's - I've never ever done this. Ever. I have three pretty rigorous classes, but I think I should be able to get it together this semester.
• Have my thesis completed by August.
• Run two marathons.
• Have two research projects aimed towards publication.
• Be teaching undergraduate courses by the summer.
• Start work doing the church internship in August.

I guess there should be some other ones on there too, something a little more abstract and esoteric. I also want to start swimming, read lots of books, and some spiritual things too. I need a carefully laid out plan. For those things that I was most specific and detailed with, I was also able to make the most progress. I'm not sure which direction the causal arrow goes for that, however, if I was successful because I was so detailed, or I was detailing so much because I was having success.

I'm really enjoying my life right now. A friend of mine was teasing me the other day about still being a student, but I have to admit that I actually really love my life. I don't have a set schedule except for a few classes. I have Fridays off. Sometimes I go to bed late and it's really not a big deal because I don't have to be alert for a whole day's worth of work. More importantly than all of that, however, is that I really enjoy learning. I love my classes right now, and I feel like everyone I interact with at BYU is just so darn impressive. We talk about interesting things, and I feel like I'm growing in so many great and valuable ways. And I'm good at school. I've been really lucky to be able to grasp things pretty quickly and my mental agility allows for me to explore lots of different avenues. Sometimes my dispersed energy leaves me a little unfocused, but I think it's mostly to my benefit. Hopefully.

I think last year ended up being a pretty good year. Another thing about my life as a student, I don't want to spend the next two and a half years before I finish my program waiting to be done to move on to the next thing. 2 1/2 years is a long time to wait to be satisfied with my life, and even when that time period is up, there's no guarantee I'll have any greater opportunities at being happier then than I am now, know what I mean? I want to enjoy the process as much as I enjoy the product, and I think I have a lot of good opportunities to do so.

Playmobil: Security Check Point

I came across this post in the Corner at NRO and thought it was priceless. Yes, it's a real toy. You can find it by clicking here. The best part, however, are the customer reviews. Here are a couple:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital. The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I've heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I'll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).

My family was planning a vacation to Europe, so I purchased this item to teach my twins about what to expect at the airport and hopefully, alleviate some of their anxiety. We also downloaded the actual TSA security checklist from the American Airlines website and then proceeded with our demonstration. Well, first we had to round up a Barbie and a few Bratz dolls to play the other family members, so that cost us a few extra bucks at the Dollar General and it is aggravating that the manufacturer did not make this product "family-friendly." Of course, since the playmobil Dad could not remove his shoes or other clothing items, unlike the Barbie, the playmobil security agent became suspicious and after waving her wand wildy a few dozen times, called her supervisor to wisk the Dad into a special body-cavity search room, (which incidentally led to quite an embarasing and interesting discussion with my twin daughters about personal hygiene and a slight adjustment to the rules we had them memorize about touching by strangers). But worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family's suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the advanced TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise mutilate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks. The girls started crying. They became so hysterical by the whole experience that we could not even get them in the car when the time came to actually take our trip, and so we had to cancel the whole thing at the last minute, losing over $7,000 in airfare and hotel charges that we could not recoup do to the last minute cancellations. We've now spent an additional $3,000 to pay for the girls therapy and medication over the past year since this incident occurred, and the psychologists have told us that this will affect them for life, so much for their college fund and our retirement. Then, to top it all off, when we tried to use to playmobil phone to call the company to ask for reimbursement, as you might expect, of course the damn thing didn't even work; neither did our efforts to e-mail them using the computer screen on the baggage checkpoint; and our real-life efforts to contact them to obtain re-imbursement have also likewise been ignored. Worse yet, we had the product tested and found out that it was positive for both lead paint and toxic chemicals, having been manufactured in China by workers holding formerly American jobs, so now we all have cancer and have been given only another year or so to live. My advice - educating your kids about airport security with this toy may actually be more harmful to them than just packing them in the damn luggage with some bottled water & hoping they survive. :)

Impromptus, I Guess

I'm about to go to bed right now. I have lots of blog posts brewing, but for whatever reason I just haven't gotten around to writing them. Maybe some of you have noticed, but I haven't even been spending as much time online lately. It's kind of funny/dumb, but before I would sometimes jump online just to be distracted, just to start conversations and chat and waste time, but I haven't been as apt to do that lately. I don't know why, but I just haven't. I'm not even reading as much political stuff as I used to. It's a phase. I'll be back.

That personality test that I posted last week is interesting. It's obviously not perfect, but of all the personality tests that are out there, it's the most validated one. Yes, more than any other. Many companies even use it for personnel selection. I've been thinking about the extroversion component lately, just because that has come up in conversation a few times. I used to consider myself pretty highly introverted, and to a certain extent I really can be. I really don't mind alone time all that much, and sometimes I even really seek after it, but I think what's more telling is context. I think I've mentioned that on here before. For example, parties or ward prayer type scenarios where there are lots of people who don't know each other that are just intermingling, I oftentimes withdraw. That's not my scene at all, and that's when I'm feeling the most introverted. But this last weekend, we went up to a cabin and there was a lot of game playing, sledding, and just all around being active, and if the events from Friday-Saturday was the only snapshot you had of me, then you would think I'm a highly extroverted person. Games, activities, sports, really bring out my personality more than anything, and I even kind of get to a point where I can't stay quiet. I can find stimulation on my own, but I definitely do draw my energy from other people given the right setting. I was even realizing tonight that about five nights a week I'm hanging out with different people doing different things. I really don't often spend an evening alone.

Soccer is the most beautiful sport. It really is. You can do a lot of awesome things in other sports, and there are some really incredible feats, but in soccer you have so many players that have to cover so much ground so quickly that all 11 people really have to be working as a cohesive unit. It's kind of like a collective consciousness. I had an indoor game on Saturday night, and I passed the ball to a guy in the midfield out of the back, continued on my run, that guy passed the ball up to another guy, I still was sprinting the length of the field, and all of a sudden I saw an opening where the goalie was moving on our guy with the ball, and I had outrun my defender, I called for the ball, he slotted it perfectly passed the keeper and my guy, and I scored on the open net. Sometimes you just have these plays unfold and they're really breathtaking. It's so awesome. Football, basketball, and hockey have those elements too, but I think since I'm so partial to soccer, that's where my heart really lies.

Attraction is a funny thing. You know what always gets me interested? There is a certain style of communication that always just really lights me up, and I can't even tell you what it is that I love about it, but I always know it the second I come across it. Months ago I went to a birthday dinner and this one girl I had never met before sat on the opposite end of the table, and we probably said about 20 words to each other, but in my 1-2 minutes of interaction I could already tell I how much I was attracted to her. Yes, she was pretty and all that, but what really drew me to her was the way we were able to talk. This past weekend, there was a girl at the cabin and I've known her for a good amount of time, but what really opened my eyes to her over the weekend was just how much she was excited about trying new things. Maybe that's not attractive to everyone, but it was cool to see just how interested she was in doing everything. I loved that about her. Then tonight at FHE, this other girl that moved in not too long ago, there was just something about the way she asked me a question that kind of woke me up to her. Anyway, attraction is a funny thing. It's fun to meet people and learn about them and their nuances, those things that are like the unique siren songs that just suck you right in.

Any day now I'll be posting about resolutions, my deep thoughts, and other things. But not now. I'm going to bed.

Free Trade Works

Just recently Chile gained entry into the world's elite through invitation into the OECD's club of developed countries, achieving the distinction of becoming a first world country. How did it get there? Two words - free markets. Here's an excerpt from this article:

It's not like Chile was born lucky. Only 30 years ago, it was an impoverished country with per capita GDP of $1,300. Its distant geography, irresponsible neighbors and tiny population were significant obstacles to investment and growth. And its economy, dominated by labor unions, wasn't just closed, but sealed tight.

In the Cato Institute's 1975 Economic Freedom of the World Report it ranked a wretched 71 out of 72 countries evaluated.

Today it's a different country altogether. Embracing markets has made it one of the most open economies in the world, ranking third on Cato's index, just behind Hong Kong and Singapore. Per capita GDP has soared to $15,000.

Besides its embrace of free trade, other reforms — including pension privatization, tax cuts, respect for property rights and cutting of red tape helped the country grow not only richer but more democratic, says Cato Institute trade expert Daniel Griswold.

I was there from October 1999-August 2001, and it's crazy to think of all the economic progress the country has made. And it's not just them either. Brazil's economy has quickly been ascending the ranks as they have aggressively pursued oil exploration and drilling off their coasts. Both of those countries owe their growth to the benefit of free markets, but somehow we keep missing this point here in the United States. Even China's explosion in the last decade is directly related to their embracing free market principles rather than the closed economy that they had been favoring for so long.

I was just reading this morning about the cutthroat competition among Google, Amazon, and Apple as they are fighting over competition for wireless communication and how much of a benefit that is to consumers. Think about the cell phone industry and just how much competition has forced the major carriers like Verizon, AT&T, and everyone else to lower their prices and expand coverage and provide better services, and remember that most of this has happened within the last decade. But government regulation and expansion continues to encroach on so many different areas threatening our viability as a nation. We'll see how this plays out as the attempts at health care reform roll forward.

In the meantime, go Chile!

What A Lovely Personality You Have!

For one of my classes, the professor asked that we take the Big 5 personality test and then we had a class discussion about the test and it's inclusion as a personnel selection tool. If you have 15 minutes to kill you can take the short by visiting this website here. If you have about 40 minutes to kill, you can also find the longer at the same site. They're both reliable, with the added benefit of the longer one being even more reliable than the shorter one. Just take the shorter one. It's kind of fun.

Extraversion	59
Friendliness	65
Gregariousness	55
Assertiveness	63
ACtivity Level	27
Excitement Seeking	26
Cheerfulness	90
Agreeableness	86
Trust	99
Morality	81
Altruism	89
Cooperation	80
Modesty	5
Sympathy	82
Conscientiousness	90
Self-Efficacy	90
Orderliness	98
Dutifulness	88
Achievement-Striving	26
Self-Discipline	47
Cautiousness	96
Neuroticism	13
Anxiety	2
Anger	8
Depression	9
Self-Consciousness	58
Vulnerability	19
Openness to Experience	48
Imagination	28
Artistic Interests	92
Emotionality	84
Adventurousness	28
Intellect	79
Liberalism	0

So the bolded categories constitute the "Big 5" personality traits. The assumption is that all traits can be collapsed into those five categories. It's on a 0-100 point scale, with near 50 being average, obviously. There are several outcomes that I think are kind of funny - I'm totally immodest. I'm about as far from liberal as can be. I actually kind of think that most of the stuff is pretty on about me. A couple of notes about the scale. The traits are supposed to be stable, meaning that they don't change over time, but people who take these things say that the results do change for them. A lot of it depends on your mood, or your current situation in life. And, this might be more a reflection of how you perceive yourself than what your actual personality is like.

Something interesting you might want to try is take it yourself, and then have someone else that knows you well take it also. That could cause some fights, but it'll be interesting.

In class yesterday my professor asked if we thought that there was a perfect personality. For whatever reason, the discussion kind of went elsewhere, but I thought it was an interesting question. I'm going to have to say no, and this response is informed by my perspective on the gospel...

If salvation were an individual thing, then maybe there would be some kind of perfect personality, but it's not. Salvation comes with husbands and wives, in families, and learning to live peaceably and happily in communities with other people. I think the main benefit to salvation coming that way is that it allows for variety among us as people, to become saved with all of our quirks and idiosyncrasies. When I imagine Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I actually imagine them with different personalities. Am I alone on that? Where that comes from for me is when I think about people who are super righteous (prophets and apostles, for example), and they all have their distinct personalities, but I would think it safe to assume that they are all going to be exalted. Joseph Smith had his personality that was entirely different than Brigham Young's. Gordon Hinckley was known for his humor and cheer. Anyway, there are a lot of great people in the kingdom of heaven and I'm pretty sure they're not all going to be carbon copies of each other.

So Sue Me

I like this stupid show. A couple weeks ago a friend of mine was having a housewarming party up in Midway and I met up with a friend that I hadn't seen in a little while. I don't remember how the movie came up, but she started talking about Steel Magnolias and I was like, yeah, that movie is a little too feminine for me. Surprised by my response, she then said, "yeah, but you're Chris," meaning that my tastes are broader than other guys (hopefully that's what she meant). It really made me laugh though to hear that. Dang it! I am Chris. I'm not always sure what that means.

Anyway, so another season of SYTYCD ended, and I think maybe it was just too much too soon. Most people I know who love the show weren't as excited about this season as they were about others, myself included. However, there were some really amazing moments during the season.

I have to say, Jakob for me was head and shoulders above the rest. I thought he was just amazing in everything that he danced. I figured he wouldn't win, and wasn't disappointed that Russell got the title. That reaction of his, tearing off the shirt, was kind of priceless. There is something just so primal about that response, you know? Like it mentions in the Bible when David heard that Saul and Jonathan died that he rent his clothes in anguish. Soccer players take off their shirts when they score goals. It's something just kind of animal and raw, like a very primitive form of expression. I think it's cool.

Anyway (again), I think this dance particular dance was my favorite. It kind of stopped my heart when I saw it the first time. Jakob is awesome, and Kathryn is just so beautiful in it. It's choreographed by the two male contemporary dancers. I think they've done one other routine, and it too, was kind of amazing. The way Kathryn walks up to Jakob at the end of the number, pulling her hair with her hand on the opposite side of her head is just so incredibly sexy. And the Michael Buble song is just perfect for the piece.

So, without further ado, Jakob and Kathryn.

Christmas Vacation

Being at home was pretty great. This is what happened:

• Like three Christmases between the Reids, my parents, and then at my cousin's.
• Lots and lots of eating with no regard for type of food I was ingesting.
• Very little exercise. I went to the gym once, and played soccer twice, and I'm feeling it now. I think I only ended up gaining a few pounds over the entire break, but it's funny how much of an impact exercise has psychologically. I probably look exactly the same as I did two weeks ago, but I feel like a fat load.
  
• Sleeping in. Everyday. Pretty much.
• Lots of time with the kiddos. I feel like Mason is pretty familiar with me, and I got to renew my relationship with my niece, which is really fun.
  
• Bowling. Soccer. Batting cages.
  
• Dozens of hours of boardgames. I'm pretty sure that is pretty exact actually and not at all an exaggeration.
• Multiple lunches and dinners with friends and loved ones.
• Unwritten Law.
  
• Drive to and from California with some younger guys who feel like little brothers to me.

I don't really think there is much else. Here are some of my thoughts during the break:

• It probably shouldn't surprise me, but my friends and family really love me. I'm totally serious. They really do. They want to spend time together all the time. They always want to hang out. They always want to know what I'm up to. Sometimes it gets a little tiresome, but mostly it's just really, really welcome. I would be gone from the Reids for just a few hours and I could always count on a text from one of them asking what I was up to, when I was coming back, and if I wanted to play trains again, etc.
  
• I think it's funny how there is family that you love and there is family that you have to tolerate. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. I love some of my family and am okay with spending all the time in the world with them, and then there are some other family members that I just really have a hard time with. I think I'm mostly a pretty peaceful soul, but there is one person in particular that just always makes me feel so tense. I can do without it. The problem is that this person is attached to another person that I really appreciate, and so it's hard to enjoy one in the presence of the other. Hopefully that's vague enough that nobody can be identified...
• The guys I drove home with are one- and two-years removed from their missions. It was fun to talk with them about the mission and life. They just feel so much younger in certain respects. One of the things they brought up is how one of their friends had been dating a girl and they didn't like the fact that he changed when he was around her. I remember thinking that when I was younger too, but it's impossible for someone not to change when they're around someone else, unless that person is exactly like the original. The real question is whether you like the person that you're changing into.
  
• Brothers bickering is hilarious to me. A pair of brothers (not the Reids) came and played soccer both weeks, and it's so funny listening to them prodding each other. This also happens with the Reid boys, and it's pretty funny then too. And sometimes I take part in that dynamic with them because of my closeness to the family.
• I think what makes Dave and I such good friends is that we're completely non-competitive with each other, which is interesting because we're both very competitive people in general, but never with each other.
• Dan Brown is a good storyteller, but he's not a good writer. I can read Jack Kerouac write about jello hardening and think it's the most enthralling thing ever, but sometimes reading Dan Brown is grating because what are supposed to be really climactic moments is diffused by poor word choice. Plus, why hasn't Robert Langdon evolved at all as a character? I'm reading Lost Symbol, and it's like the guy learned nothing from his previous experiences in Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code. It's still interesting though.
• I hate the question, would you prefer extreme heat or extreme cold? Well, it's neither, obviously, because both are miserable. But what about just hot to cold, like 90 to 30 degrees. I would always take 90 degrees over 30 degrees. I hate not being able to go outside and just stay out there. I prefer sandals and t-shirts to layers. I prefer warm weather activities to cold ones. That's just me. The thing is, when you're outside and it's 30 degrees, it's 30 degrees or colder. When you're outside and it's 90 degrees, it's not that way in the shade, plus you get cool breezes. I love summer nights. Plus I tan really well, and my complexion gets much clearer with sunshine. All good things. I'm saying that I prefer California still, but I have had a much better attitude about Utah for the last year or two.
  
• I love concerts. I cannot emphasize that enough. I haven't seen Unwritten Law for over a year, and they are really good live. Music is meant to be heard in person. I was counting how many times I've seen them and Strung Out in person - it's at least 13 and 15 times respectively. Pretty crazy, huh?
• As much as I love being home home, I still like being in my home. I liked taking a shower in my shower and using my towels, and tonight I'll love getting into my bed. Those are nice things.
• My friends are all really impressive people. Just good souls. I love them so dearly, and I'm just so grateful to have the privilege of their association.

That's the short of it.

Hello, World

Today is my last day in California. It's been wonderful to say the least. Just a ton of time with friends and family, and I couldn't be more happy about that. I always forget that coming home involves never really feeling like my time is my own, not to say that I haven't been able to do pretty much whatever I felt like, but it's different, you know?

Is it okay if I sleep in everyday when I'm off vacation too? Can I just continue hanging out and playing board games, taking naps, playing with baby Mason, and not doing anything that requires me being responsible?

Isn't it funny that when I'm on vacation I'm not blogging at all? I think about 10 different people said something to me about my blog while here that I had no idea were even reading it. Most of them have been guys, which begs the question, should I be posting less about SYTYCD and more about sports? Nahhhhhhhh. But it always surprises me when I hear about who is reading the blog. Only a few people dig the politics posts.

Anyway, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming, perhaps as soon as tomorrow. Get yourselves ready for one long decompressing vacation post.

Hope your holidays were great. Thanks for coming around, and I'll be back next week for sure. After all, back to real life means trying to avoid it, and that means lots of blogging.

See y'all later!