On Having Kids

Amy and I loved being married without kids. I'd say that our first year of marriage we did pretty well at traveling  and doing fun stuff. We loved going to the movies whenever we wanted, seeing pretty much everything in the theater. We really enjoyed being able to go golfing together. Fox Hollow is the course just a few blocks from our place and for $20 each, we could do a round of nine with a cart and it was pretty fantastic. That was a frequent FHE activity for us during the summers. We just loved all of that stuff.

But we just love having Jane. I find myself coming home earlier than I probably should a lot of nights because I just want to see my girls. We are not as unattached as we once were, but having her is also the greatest thing that could have ever happened to us. There just isn't enough time in the day for the amount of thanks we'd like to give in our prayers because we have her in our lives.

I bring this all up because the other day we go to go snowboarding and we just loved it. We'd still like to figure out how we can go at least a few more times. On our first lift ride up the mountain we sat with a guy who lives part time in Utah. I asked him if he'd been snowboarding much this season and he said he'd only been about 15 times so far this year.

15 times.

He also told us that he's been married for 15 years and he and his wife don't have kids, but they do manage to get to the mountain probably 100 times each season. Or at least his wife does, but I'm sure he's not far behind. He then started kind of giving me a hard time (at least I interpreted it that way) about not coming up more than I do. I should be up at least so frequently that it would justify getting a season pass.

It just made me laugh. There's no way I would ever feel good about going that often with Jane. And I don't regret it one single bit. I wish that I could go enough that I could actually improve and not just feel like I'm maintaining my ability. I love being out on the mountain. I think carving up a mountain and bursting through powder is one of the best things in the whole world. I honestly feel that.

But having Jane has given me so much purpose. Not that you can't have purpose without having your own children - but just in my own limited perspective and experience - nothing has ever made me feel so full as being a husband and father.

I miss a lot of things about my previous life. I miss seeing more movies. I miss just being able to leave and do whatever we wanted without having to plan ahead on what Jane needs.

But I just love her so much.

And let's be honest: Jane is probably the easiest baby in the whole world. I don't know what we'll do when we have a real baby who actually demands more from us, but until then, I'll count my lucky stars that I have Jane as my daughter and Amy as my wife.