Here Comes the Baby

I wanted to post on Ali's birth. I started going through video that I had of the day that she was born and as I was going through it, I realized that the one part of the day that I didn't have - her actual birth - I failed to capture. Now looking back, I vaguely recall not wanting to get that actual recording because I felt like it would be too personal. Isn't that funny? In this day and age of social media and sharing everything digitally, I decided on this very significant event to pull back and not record it?

I mention all of this because I wanted to see the footage of the room for when she was born. In the weeks prior to her birth, I remember wondering to myself if I would feel anything special when she was born. I kind of dismissed the thought pretty quickly, but then as the moment arrived I really did feel something so very special.

The day of labor and delivery is one of the best days ever. It really is. There are so many swirling emotions as you are about to welcome a new child into this world. I couldn't remember much about my feelings from either Jane or Peter's birth. I know that they were happy occasions, but the specifics of those feelings eluded me. That's why, I guess, I paid special attention to that day when Alice was born.

Her birth was scheduled, unlike Jane and Peter's, but in reality how it unfolded wasn't that much different with the exception of the sudden rush of what it's like when Amy's water breaks and we know that we are about to have a baby. After that, it's all been routine for us.

I do remember Ali's crinkly head as it began to emerge from the birth canal, and the full head of dark hair that she was sporting as she came out, much more than our other kids. The thing that will always stay with me was this feeling of fullness that enveloped me. It was as spiritual experience as I have ever had. This feeling of warmth, love, and joy just washed over me like a Gatorade shower over the coach when the team wins the championship. It was that quick and I felt drenched in that warmth. It's a feeling I'll never forget.

I just wish that I had it captured on video to remember it better.

In any case, I'm so excited for our baby boy to arrive. To be honest, this one has been the hardest for me to get excited for, I think mostly because I know too much now as a parent of three kids. I know the disruptions that come with adding a newborn to the family. I know the many sleepless nights that are ahead for us. I'm quite familiar at this point with the physical and psychological adjustment that comes with a new baby and his arrival.

But I do know the good stuff too. I know the feeling of seeing your child for the first time. I know the sweet cuddles that come as our child settles into my chest and makes the tender coos and infant breathing noises that only a new baby can make. I also know the love and tenderness that our other kids can express as they welcome their newborn sibling. And I know all of the wonderful times Amy and I will fawn over ours kids as we talk about how much we love them once they have gone down for the night (after racing to get to that point in the first place. It's a funny irony).

I'm getting pretty ready for it. It's nice to have these memories to reflect on that bring me back to all of the wonderful things about having a new child in the first place.