I would think at some point I would outgrow this tendency to want to put everything off, but so far I just haven't. And while I haven't been able to move as quickly as I would like to on my thesis work, it has been really gratifying to feel like I am in the right place for the time being.
For a few weeks this past month I kept wondering if maybe I should just go back to Utah, but in the last two weeks especially it has been really neat to think about all the ways I've been available for different people down here. Need someone to drive out to pick up someone in Victorville at the drop of a hat? Or you need a blessing late at night? How about just a sympathetic ear? I'm your guy. Do you need a positive speech to help you get reoriented in your life? I'm pretty proud of my ability to infuse optimism with realism when I do those. I can't solve everyone's problems, and I don't always know the right words to say, but if nothing else I try and make myself available to help out in any way that I can, and that has helped me to feel like I can be of use, even if I'm not currently earning a paycheck. A friend of mine said, "bloom where you're planted," and I think I've been able to see the beginnings of some flower buds cropping up. And that's a nice feeling to have.
But...it's not to say that there haven't been moments here and there where I've felt the sentiment expressed in the following poster:
2 comments:
So does this mean you're not coming back to Utah?
No, I'm still coming back. I just meant come back early. I still got school to finish up.
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