This Day In History

• Jackie Robinson made his Major League debut and broke the color barrier in professional sports
• The unsinkable Titanic hit an iceberg and was capsized
• President Lincoln died
• And yours truly was born.

I'm not one to really like all the attention, but I do appreciate people remembering...so thanks for the birthday phone call to kick things off at midnight, Karen. You were also the earliest rememberer by far with the package prepped and sent more than a week ago. Thanks, Doug, for the text at 3:30 am, and various emails, texts, and happy smurfday well wishers. I do appreciate it. Some of my favorite birthday memories:

• Birthday in a box freshman year at BYU - I totally forgot about this one until I started thinking of this post. This was back when Dave's mom was more nice/less crazy and she sent a package of dumb games that for a lot of people would have been lame, but with our friends ended up being really fun and we played them all down in the cafeteria area by DT. I remember that one actually being really fun and if you guys (Dave, Laura, Brenna) remember, the pictures of that night with all of us have the girls with squirt guns and Dave and I have wet crotches. We weren't too old for that joke then, and somehow I think the same would be true today.
• First post-mission birthday. At BYU my birthday always comes at a crappy time - the last day of classes or the beginning of finals so for like three years in a row I had papers due the day of my birthday. Of course me being an idiot, I always stayed up all night the day of my birthday. My girlfriend had come into town and I was duped into thinking that we were going to Joe's Crab Shack to meet up with her boring family, but instead it ended up being all of my friends. That one surprised me...
• The next year I was dating Becca, and she and Dave "surprised" me by taking me to Chuck E. Cheese's. Sidenote - my first birthday was actually at Chuck E.'s. It wasn't much of a surprise because I knew that Doug and surprised Kristin with it recently, and I had a surprise the previous year so I did appreciate it, but I wasn't caught off guard. And then when we came back to our apartment I opened up the door to find all of our friends in the living room. That one really got me. It was pretty awesome.
• And I think one of the best presents I ever got was when Dave got me a plane ticket home to catch a day game with him at Angel Stadium. First off, that was pretty expensive, but he knows how much I love those day games and I was going back only for a few days because I was attending spring term, so my time was limited and it's always so much better to fly home than lose a whole day driving. One of my favorite things about that one was that he always made Becca jealous because his presents were always better than hers. What can I say? He's one of the best gift givers I know, plus he knows me better than anyone. It's to be expected, right?

I think those are pretty easily my favorite birthdays, but I think I'm pretty easy to please now. Thanks so much to everyone who has remembered already, and it's only 9:00 am. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate it and how much I love you all. Thanks.

Best Friends

And why does he hang out with those retarted gorillas, as you called them, because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a f***ing bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty.

I love that description of Will's friends from Good Will Hunting. I think it crudely, but adeptly, describes the kind of devotion that best friends have to one another. A few months ago I heard about a girl living up in Idaho who in about two weeks time met, went out with a couple of times, and then got engaged to a guy up there. From first meeting to eventual marriage I think there was about a 3 month window. Without really going into her blog and her semi-crazy (to me at least) musings, she talked about how he was her best friend after only 10 days of knowing each other. I just couldn't believe how some people can fall into those kinds of marriages (and I don't mean in a good way), but my first thought was really just about how she probably has never really had a best friend, because if she really did, then there is no way that she would ever make that leap in assuming that some guy that she had only just met could somehow fill a role that really takes years to grow into.

If you have the means, I highly highly recommend getting one, they are so choice.

I've been really lucky because I think ever since I can remember, I have always had a go to friend at every point in my life. I still remember the first time Justin's mom came over to my house in kindergarden and asked if her son could play with me. That one felt like an arranged marriage/friendship and we eventually grew apart, but for about 6-7 years, we were inseperable. Then I had Ryan. And then came along Dave and he's been there pretty much ever since. It really is great when your friends aren't restricted by just proximity, but they are based on the commonalities that you share, as well as your experiences with one another. And I've been really lucky since then because I feel like I have a few people that I would easily call my best friends.

The last girl I dated really had a great appreciation for best friends. We had some conversations about it here and there, but we mostly concluded that it's not something you can really understand unless you have that kind of relationship yourself. She particularly loved on-screen portrayals of best friends because there are some things that can only be communicated by someone who has that kind of familiarity in his/her own life. One that she usually referenced was from the TV show Psych, which I've never seen, but George and Brad on Ocean's 11 is a perfect example, think of the scene where George is having the "conversation" with Brad but really he's the only one saying anything.

I think my favorite, though, is Turk and JD from Scrubs. I think there are about 1,000 different things I can point to that make me love Turk and JD, but I think my favorite part is that I feel like I've made the same jokes so many times with Dave and Greg. And the stupid crap that they pull on each other or on the interns just has such a Doug Reid kind of feel to it. It feels like home to me when I watch those two.

I guess started thinking about this more when I ran into an old friend the other night at an institute activity. We hardly talk anymore, this was the first time in a couple of months, but we instantly picked up where we last left off and I just knew exactly where I stood with her. I know what things she laughs at, what things she thinks are strange, what she cares about, I just know every nook and cranny of her person. Even just through certain looks I knew exactly what she was thinking, and I just missed her presence so much because there is nothing like just knowing a person's heart inside and out, and knowing that the person really would take a bullet for you given that opportunity. There is something just so wonderfully comforting and gratifying to know that in your times of greatest need, there is someone there who would do anything for you to get through that moment. I think what really adds so much depth to these friendships is experiencing hardship with one another, extending and receiving forgiveness, and knowing that there is nothing there but a true sense of concern for the other person. It's nice to know that sometimes they can call you to the carpet when you're wrong, and you can listen because you know where they're coming from. And I love thinking that no matter how much time passes, or how infrequently you might see one another, you just know that the connection will always be there. I didn't mean for this to turn so soft and corny, but I was just thinking about it the last several days.

Song of the Day

White people love Mos Def. Want a stupid funny website? Here. I like the first one better. It's a little more sophisticated. I just have a thing for this song right now. Sorry there's not actual video though.

Stupid Stuff We Do

This post is mostly inspired by the receptionist here at work this morning, who will remain nameless (although it's not too hard to figure out who she is). Anyway, there are a couple of things that I had in mind that I myself had done or thought this week, and we have a guest contribution as well from Greg, thanks buddy. Mostly what I had in mind for this were those head-scratching moments when you tilt your head and think to yourself, "now why in the world did I/he/she/they/we think/do that?" When I started thinking of stuff to include in here, I realized that there are about a 1000 things that I could include, but I think those should get their own post. Here are a few things that occurred recently:

• I was picking up a few things at Target the other day and I will usually do a lap around the music & movies section, just in case there was something out there that I really needed that I had possibly forgotten about (although if there was something that I really needed, you would think that it would be easy to recall, right?). This time around though on my way to get some other items I passed the toy section. Feeling pretty aimless, I wandered through looking at the toys thinking about which ones I might have wanted when I saw them - G.I. Joes.
  
  I don't think any of you realize the obsession I had with these action figures (not dolls!) growing up. I had my own little army of about 50 or so. My best friend in grade school had all the vehicles. Needless to say our battles were epic. So I see them and realize that they're the 25th anniversary edition of the old action figures that I actually had as a child, meaning the same characters in the same packaging. About $20 later I have several, including Cobra Commander, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes. What is a 27 year old guy going to do with a bunch of action figures you ask? I have no idea, but I know that if I saw more of them I would buy up whatever ones are out there. By the way, if you guys see Duke or Destro, I must have them.
  
  While I was still attending BYU, one of my girlfriends found out about my love affair with G.I. Joes and she ended up buying several new ones for me and I loved her for it. I took them out and put them in battle poses around my room, and she asked me if I played with them and was disappointed when I laughed and told her no. But if I'm too old to play with them, shouldn't I be too old to even want to have them in the first place? Apparently not. Go Joe!
  
  


• Girl came in yesterday to work to drop off some items, and given how things played out I could have been pretty easily annoyed with having to deal with her. Or if not that, then at the very least too prideful to even take a second look at her, but when I saw her my heart just softened completely and I just wanted to embrace her, and sit down and talk about anything or nothing at all. It's just funny to me what a soft spot I can have for certain members of the opposite sex. I had never seen her in just casual clothes and she just looked so good. I guess if I have a type, there's something about dark features that just really does it for me, and as far as personal qualities go, just someone that laughs a lot and is easy to talk to.
  
  When I was in kindergarden, I had a crush on a girl and the only reason was because she was the only girl with glasses. Ever since Jenny, I just really dig on seeing girls wearing those dark-rimmed spectacles. Anyway, the girl I saw yesterday probably could have kicked me in the junk, stolen my car, and insulted my mother last week, and when I saw her yesterday I still would have just melted. Weird. I think I'm pretty much like a little puppy when it comes to people - you can yell at me, neglect me, or kick me, but if you give me a treat or scratch my belly I'll forget everything else that happened. I seem to have a pretty short memory span when it comes to a lot of that stuff. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
  


• My coworker is quite the endurance athlete. She is a cyclist and rides 100, even 200 mile races. This weekend she has a 112 mile race, but she hasn't been able to train for a little while now. Further compounding the difficulty, she's been sick the last week or two and has recently started focusing on short distance races so her training regimen is totally different now. Earlier this week she got talked out of going on a training ride for this upcoming event because she was still getting over her cold, and needed the rest for the weekend. That was two days ago. So what does she do last night instead? Does a lot of dancing and doing late night stuff, and not getting in until after 5 am the morning before the weekend of her big race. I love her.
  


• My best friend's dad feels it's necessary to exterminate a black widow infestation at his new house by using a blow torch. He even sent picture of him doing it. Awesome.
  


• From Greg: I am currently taking post-bacc classes at CSUF to show that in spite of my shameful under-grad GPA I actually am smart and can get good grades. As I was anticipating the freedom of my first ever quasi-collegiate spring break (as my alma-mater the Y doesn't have one) I considered my options to relax and/or party my tush off. My first and most preferred option was to fly home to the Mile-high City and go skiing with my father; because other than the flight my trip would end up being free.
  
  I called up and talked scheduling with him, and he pointed out that "Unfortunately, [my younger brother's] high school spring break is the week prior".
  
  "Okay", I prodded, "but what about the following week? Any chance you could go up for just one weekday and maybe Saturday too?"
  
  "Hmmm, looking, looking, nope. No I'm sorry son, I don't have any days off that week. Maybe another time."
  
  I hung up just defeated. Another time? I'm married and live in CA and plan to go to dental school soon - what other time? My dad is a skiing nut and a doctor so he has the money and time to ski his brains out and I couldn't believe that there was no way he could take some time to ski with his favorite and most talented son (wink). So the next day I called my mom and asked her to check out dad's calendar and would you believe it? He had Friday off and nothing planned on Saturday!!!! WTF!?! Turns out I have slipped in the rankings of favored son. My dad didn't want to go skiing with me! Talk about a total ball-busting, heart-crushing, spank to the face...
  
  P.S. He went this week (week after my break) and called to tell me that he had a 10 inch powder day - thanks for rubbing it in dad.

Those are just a few. I just love those things that make you pause and think, "what was that all about?" Even if they're small, I feel like there are a hundred different things that happen like that each week that just make me laugh at myself, or you.

Story Time from Afghanistan

Jared forwarded these links to me and it's a really gripping story about a medic working over in Afghanistan. He was off-duty when he got a guy banging on his door with a little (Afghanistinanni) goatherder who had a goat step on a 20 year old landmine. This is his firsthand account. This is a follow up news article. It'll take a minute to read the first hand, but it's worth your time.

White People Love Free Healthcare

I was reorganizing my links this morning...the funny part is that I was telling myself that I needed to be more focused while at work today and so I get productivity for me means tinkering with my blog...Anyway, I popped over to the Stuff White People Like link on the left, and I loved this entry on Free Healthcare. Here are a couple of excerpts, just in case you don't check it out (this is almost the full article...just go to the link you dirtbags):

In spite of having access to the best health insurance and fanciest hospitals, white people are passionate about the idea of socialized medicine. So much so that they have memorized statistics and examples of how for-profit medicine has destroyed the United States.

But the secret reason why all white people love socialized medicine is that they all love the idea of receiving health care without having a full-time job. This would allow them to work as a freelance designer/consultant/copywriter/photographer/blogger, open their own bookstore, stay at home with their kids, or be a part of an Internet start-up without having to worry about a benefits package. Though many of them would never follow this path, they appreciate having the option.

If you need to impress a white person, merely mention how you got hurt on a recent trip Canada/England/Sweden and though you were a foreigner you received excellent and free health care. They will be very impressed and likely tell you about how powerful drug and health care lobbies are destroying everything.

Though their passion for national health care runs deep, it is important to remember that white people are most in favor of it when they are healthy. They love the idea of everyone have equal access to the resources that will keep them alive, that is until they have to wait in line for an MRI.

This is very similar to the way that white people express their support for public schools when they don’t have children.

Feedback

Hey Dave, Caitlin, Karen, Greg, sometimes Laura...other people...what are your favorite posts on here? I'm doing a favorites label. I can only think of two that I like enough to label favorites, and if that's it, then so be it. Just wondering. Comment away!

Content with the Things Allotted Unto Me

I've been thinking about that phrase a lot lately. Time and age is an interesting variable when it comes to that thought because so much of our discontent revolves around not having things pan out when we want them to, whether it is not being married when you had expected to be, having to wait to start having children, wanting to be able to move into the next phase for a career, or a number of different things. I was thinking about this yesterday because yesterday was my boss's 39th birthday.

I love her. She's a very smart, very capable woman and probably one of the most understanding people I've ever been able to work for. And I've worked with some pretty great people. She is the HR Director for a good size company, about 500 employees, with millions and millions of dollars in assets. Yesterday, however, she was feeling a little let down with how timing has worked out in her life. She's still single, never been married, and doesn't have any children. This past weekend she went to two baby showers and I think with the 40th birthday being the next one coming, she was just feeling her age and a little bit saddened by the fact that she hasn't been able to have her own family yet. At the end of the day yesterday I dropped by her office to ask her how she was feeling because I kind of had an idea that she wasn't all that excited about it being her birthday. I then started to relate with her about feeling some of that pressure as well.

I think everyone is entitled to feel that anxiety, if only occassionally, about not having what it is that he or she is longing for inside. The other day I was fasting and part of what I was fasting for was to express gratitude for all of the things that was going on at that point; part of what I was feeling so grateful about when I started that fast was for meeting someone who I thought was worth getting to know, and I was excited to see what was going to happen with her. That was at the outset of the fast. That night is when I had the conversation with her, and that evening and the next day I returned to my prayers not feeling the same vigor I had started my fast with when I thought things were going well with the girl. And then I started to realize that while I was excited about that prospect, my overall sense of gratitude and appreciation wasn't contingent on my dating status. It really disgusted me to think that for a moment, I had been feeling exactly that. I don't think I've ever been a person that has derived any of my feelings of self-worth based on whether or not I was dating someone. I had to recommit that this time would be no different. Sometimes it takes some time to get yourself settled and really, truly feeling content with the things allotted unto you.

It's hard to feel that all the time. One time when I was at my peak anxiety about marriage, or lack thereof, was about a year and a half ago after going to an institute activity. I went to the building and it was some kind of movie night. With the room darkened, I couldn't really identify the people that had attended that evening. When the lights came on, however, I looked around and I was really fixated on the age of the girls there, and several of the guys who came too - the girls were averaging about 19-20, the guys older, with several being up into their 30s. I remember just feeling filled with anxiety, thinking about how there was not one girl there who I felt interested in, and then looking at the older guys and wondering if that was what the future had in store for me. It felt almost like I had my ghost of Christmas Present and Future standing right there with me helping me realize the despair of my situation.

To be honest, I really don't know exactly how I got over those feelings of panic. It has definitely been a process, but I really do have a lot to look forward to and I can say with full sincerity that I'm glad things have gone the way they have. I have an opportunity to redo graduate school, I've made lots of great friends, and had good opportunities to serve in ways that might not have been possible if things had worked out previously. I do realize that many of these benefits could probably have been available to me in addition to being married, but I think that's the key right there - I am really content with the things allotted unto me and wouldn't have them any other way.

I wanted to include this talk from General Conference in April 2000 by Elder Maxwell, with the same title, Content with the Things Allotted Unto Us. As always with Elder Maxwell, there are a million gems embedded within the entire talk, but I'll include just these...I'm realizing that I want to just cut and paste the whole talk, but these are some of my favorite excerpts:

Being content means acceptance without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls...

Incremental improvement is, therefore, the order of the day, and it clearly requires the accompaniment of the Lord's long-suffering as we struggle to learn the necessary lessons...

Life's necessary defining moments come within our allotments, and we make "on the record" choices within these allotments. Our responses are what matters. Sufficient unto each life are the tests thereof! (see Matt. 6:34)...

Hence, we can and "ought to be content with the things allotted to us," being circumstantially content but without being self-satisfied and behaviorally content with ourselves (see 3 Ne. 12:48; 27:27; Matt. 5:48).

Such contentment is more than shoulder-shrugging passivity. It reflects our participative assent rather than uncaring resignation.

Go and read the whole thing. Anyway...just some of the things I've been thinking about that you all are so privileged/burdened with taking part in.

Apache!

I know that I've gone video crazy this week on the blog, but this one was too good to pass up. I'm realizing that my blog is the equivalent of my forwards, which makes me pretty awesome I think, because you know I won't fill up your mailbox with stupid crap. Anyway...I challenge you to watch this and not giggle several hundred times. Around the three minute mark it gets really awesome with a dance sequence and some scant singing.

And now...ladies and gentlemen, for your listening and viewing pleasure, I present Tommy Seebach playing Apache!

Planet B-Boy

I got to go see this movie last night. Luckily, I didn't have to go by myself as Bridgette always seems to be in switched onto adventure mode. Jared...I forgot about your appreciation for indy films. Obviously, there are a few that I'm interested in.

I have such a fascination with dance, especially breakdancing and so I was pretty excited about this particular film. I've posted the trailer already, but if you haven't seen it, go check it out. The film chronicles a little bit the breakdance movement, but focuses mainly on the Battle of the Year contest that takes place each year to crown the world's best B-Boy crew for the year.

Guys...seriously, the stuff these dancers do is just sick. I expected to enjoy the movie just because it caters to a particular infatuation I have with this form of dancing, but the story ended up being much more compelling than I had expected it to be. It's amazing the combination of strength, agility, and grace that they exhibit in their art form. I love how seriously they take their craft, and for them it really is an expression of art as much as ballet or contemporary dance may be for anyone else.

The contest takes a representative group from each country who then perform their routines to be selected amongst the final four crews who do a battle for third place, and another for first place. The video above is the whole routine for the Japanese crew. They explain it a little bit in the movie, but the dance itself is a representation of a song being mixed together, and the last part where they're revolving around in a circle I think is especially cool because it's the final mix and seems to be symbolizing the final cut on a record.

I won't go into the movie much more than to say it does such a great job of showing the work and dedication of the dancers, as well as compel the audience to become invested by detailing the personal stories involved with some of the individual dancers and their crews. My favorite was the Japanese crew, and the guy who plays the DJ in the above video. So cool...go and check it out. It comes to you very highly recommended.

Hey Shea Stadium...Check Out this Chick's Cans...You've been Rick Rolled!

I swear I posted the videos before on here, but I'm sure you're all familiar with Rick Rolling. I mentioned last week that YouTube's April Fool's joke was to link all the featured videos to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. Well the New York Mets were opening voting up to the public to choose a song that would serve as their traditional 8th inning sing-a-long (do we have that at Angel stadium? because my vote would be for Everybody Have Fun Tonight). Fark.com decided that they would steer their masses over to the voting forum and have people write in Never Gonna Give You Up. And guess what? They made it happen, but unfortunately, the people at the stadium are going to have another vote at the ballpark by taking the largest response to one of six songs to see if they can't avoid being Rick Rolled all season long. The article is here, but doesn't include much more than I've already mentioned. This is the Family Guy version of the song.

Indy Films

There are a bunch of movies that I want to see. I think I'm totally morphing into stuck up movie goer where I'm more eager for the independent films that are out there. The only big commercial one that I'm interested in right now is 21. I posted about a week about Planet B-Boy. I caught In Bruges over the weekend. Buyer beware: this trailer is full of swearing and is totally not edited. Yes, it's a pirate film. First one that I've seen in the theater probably since Last Samurai. Not quite sure why I was so interested in seeing this one and was okay with dropping my hard line no pirate movie stance, but it was really interesting. Dark comedy. Dark. Full of swearing. Very funny. It was really interesting how the ending wrapped up.



I just heard about this one today. It comes out April 18th and looks super interesting. I love that Ben Stein is a conservative. The movie goes over the marginazlization of intelligent design in this country. This is a long trailer, about seven minutes.



And here's another one...when I first saw this trailer it brought a tear to my eye. I just really thought it was cute. I think this one comes out this week.



This is the last one. I thought my most recent crush might like to see it, but alas...I'll have to find someone else to go with. Interested?

Sharing Is Caring...About Yourself

It's one thing to have parents tell their children that they have to learn to share with one another because they want them to be well-behaved people and not selfish little brats. Somehow when it is from one mature person to another, and the recipient of the person's generosity is the person imploring the sharing, it feels completely different. I think the irony in the statement "you need to share" lies in the fact that the person saying it is implying that you're being selfish, but when the person is doing it for his/her own benefit, that person is also committing the same sin.

If the package involved cookies, you are obligated to share :)

Having said all of that, you're not getting any of my cookies. They're my birthday cookies and I think I have every right to be as selfish as I want to be with them. If I'm supposed to share, aren't you supposed to avoid coveting? I'll probably end up making you the cookies sometime because I'm awesome like that, but these cookies are mine. I'm the one who needs the comfort food, and it's my birthday present. I'll do with them as I damn well please.

Wyatt...could you maybe talk to Marco about him always doing my face? You remember in the WHAT? video and I established the...face? Well every time since then, every time you see Marco, he's doing the...face. And it's mine. You look at him on TRL and he's like, "Hi Carson"...You look at him on the Kids Choice Awards, "this is ours? Thanks"...And then right here on the cover of 17 magazine, "hi little girl, beauty secrets?"...It's my face. It's my face.

And yes, I did an entire post just to publicly mock you. That's how I roll apparently.

Timing Is Everything

I guess I do post some really personal stuff on here. In the future I'll try and be more mindful of those things that I write about, especially as it involves other people. I think I like writing about personal things, but then it gets hard because so much of it involves my dealings with other people, and many people are much more private in their own personal matters.

Having said that, how about more personal stuff? Weird, huh? Now you're thinking, then why the disclaimer?

In the middle of a conversation the other night I started to think about some of the events that have transpired over the last year of my life. It was kind of weird to have some of these other memories flash through my mind. The relationship between the events really helped me to see the difference between feeling just letdown and being truly crushed. While having this talk with a friend, I began to think about another one I had almost exactly a year ago this weekend.

I think the weirdest thing for me about the conversation was thinking about the timing of it being right before General Conference weekend for the church. It is almost exactly the one year anniversary of when things definitively ended with a girl who, for a long time, I was sure would one day be my wife.

That was on a Friday night that it happened and I felt pretty much destroyed. I had a residential appraisal down almost by the Mexican border in San Diego and I missed the Saturday morning session of conference. I remember eating chicken mcnuggets in my car and filling up at a gas station and just feeling, quite literally, defeated. That whole day was so surreal and I can remember so many details about it, but overarching anything else I remember about that weekend was the supreme sense of loss and heartbreak that I experienced. That was devastating, and it took a lot of time for her and I both to finally reach that point where it was done.

Hearkening back to that night while in the midst of the conversation I was having with a different girl almost a year to the day later was quite a contrast. I just thought the juxtaposition of the two experiences really helped me to realize that although it wasn't fun to have that conversation with the new girl, I have had hundreds of conversations that were infinitely more difficult than the one I was having with her. I know I'm going to be fine, and I can really only say positive things about her. I know that oftentimes relationships don't work out, or don't develop just because of the simple fact that it is not the right fit for one person or the other. Nevertheless, no matter how cognizant you may be of that fact, it is still so hard to not take it personally when someone says that they just don't see as anything more than a friend. Although I do think I have gotten past those feelings already. In any case, I've thought a lot the last day or two about the things that have happened over the last year:

• Dropped out of CGU
• Experienced the high of my mom finding someone to be with, only to get the extreme low of having that completely unravel
• Brief involvement with a drama queen. That's pretty literal.
• Big promotion
• Dated a great girl for a bit, and then it didn't work out
• Applied for and got accepted into another grad program

And now this most recent conversation. I was not feeling this way right afterwards, but I am now - I feel like I'm finally starting to get a rudimentary understanding of how to ride the waves and maintain a steady course throughout the ups and downs. I realize that by admitting that I am probably precipitating something that will capsize me in the near future. But hopefully that lesson is real.

I have two movies scenes in mind that relate to my situation:

1. Does anyone besides Dave and I appreciate the comedy of Pauly Shore? I have a secret love for him. In the movie In the Army Now there is a scene where his girlfriend writes him a letter to break up with him and she leaves him for another guy and he finishes it, pretends to be heartbroken for a second, and then crumples it up, tosses it over his shoulder and says something like "luckily I'm too shallow to let this get me down for very long." I just love that dettachment. I'm not quite there, but I think that scene is funny.
2. This is probably only for Laura, but in the movie Singles this band is in a coffee shop and they are reading reviews about their performance. The reviewer just pretty much rips on the band, and then it's really dumb, but the lead singer says "This negative energy just makes me stronger, we will not retreat...this band is unstoppable!" It's so cheesy, but sometimes I really feel that way. This band is unstoppable.

Timing is everything, though, because the day after this most recent letdown when I came home from work, a friend of mine had sent an early birthday package and it was just perfect. It felt like I could make a fresh start from that point and look forward to the rest of what will probably be a great weekend with a baseball game, maybe a movie, and General Conference. Life is good.

Some Quick Thoughts

I think people are funny. Why have a blog if you're only going to avoid posting and keep apologizing about it, or talk about things you'd rather do than blog? I know I do that sometimes too, but you know what I mean? I feel like I see that a lot on other blogs. Like one of my mission companions used to say all the time, "poop or get off the pot!" (I miss you Elder Purcell). And really, I don't blog because I think everyone has to listen to what I have to say. Well, not entirely at least. I blog because I feel like it's a cathartic experience. I've actually been a journal writer since I was like 11. No joke. And I didn't grow up in a church home, and nobody encouraged me to do it. It's good to just express and formulate your thoughts, or in this case, my own. I do it because I like to do it, love it in fact. And it's a fun way to include many different elements of media and add my own personal twist to everything that comes out on here.

Okay...last item of ward business and then we'll proceed to the sacrament portion of the meeting...Today is the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination. 40 years in fact. Did you hear that the LA City Council wanted to pass a moratorium on homicides for 40 hours in honor of his passing? What a hollow gesture. They didn't even end up passing it. Have you guys read anything by prominent black authors? Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, Maya Angelou, etc.? These people know struggle. They have some beautiful, powerful stuff. This is a short one that I've always loved:

Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sagslike a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Dr. King knew struggle and he was no slouch in his elocution and eloquence. I've heard some things here and there remembering his passing 40 years ago. This is a pretty good article that assesses the Reverend's legacy. Here is a snippet that describes his final hours:

The next day, King was in a good mood, almost giddy, Kyles remembered. Kyles was hosting a dinner for King at his home that evening. "I told him it was at 5 because he was never in a hurry." But when Kyles knocked on King's door, at Room 306 of the Lorraine Motel, to hurry him along, King let him know he had uncovered the little ruse: He had found out the dinner was actually at 6. So they had some time, and King invited Kyles to sit down. Abernathy was there, too. King liked to eat and was anticipating a lavish soul-food feast, so he couldn't resist razzing Kyles. "I bet your wife can't cook," King told his friend. "She's too pretty."

Just to tease a little more, King asked Kyles: Didn't you just buy a new house? He then told the story of an Atlanta preacher who had purchased a big, fancy home and had King and Coretta over for dinner. "The Kool-Aid was hot, the ham was cold, the biscuits were hard," Kyles recalled King jiving. "If I go to your house and you don't have a decent dinner, I'm going to tell the networks that the Rev. Billy Kyles had a new house but couldn't afford to have a decent dinner."

It was about 5:45 when King and Kyles left the room and stepped onto the second-floor balcony. Abernathy stayed put. King leaned over the rail to gaze at a busy scene in the parking lot eight feet below, exchanging words with his young aide Jesse Jackson, among others. Kyles was just about to descend the steps, with King behind him, when he heard the shot. "And when I looked around, he had been knocked from the railing of the balcony back to the door," Kyles recalled. "I saw a gaping hole on the right side of his face."

Kyles ran back into the room and tried to call for an ambulance, but no one at the motel switchboard answered. He took a bedspread and draped it over King's body.

King was pronounced dead at 7 p.m. at St. Joseph's Hospital.

"Forty years ago, I had no words to express my feelings; I had stepped away from myself," recalled Kyles, now 73, the pastor at Monumental Baptist Church in Memphis. "Forty years later, I still have no words to describe my feelings."

For years, Kyles struggled with an internal question: "Why was I there?" And at some point, he can't remember when, "God revealed to me, I was there to be a witness. Crucifixions have to have a witness."

I thought that was pretty moving. And with that...let's go back to where we started...can you believe this post doesn't even cover 1/1000 of what I've been thinking about in just the last 12 or so hours? Crazy. Yeah, I'm a weirdo.

Tune in this weekend, same bat time, same bat channel. Be blessed ya'll. Peace.

It's Never Just a Slam Dunk

And not that I ever thought it was going to be, but I didn't think it would wrap up so quickly. At least this time around. Oh well. So yeah...dating is never just simple. It's always so complicated. Even in the best relationships that I've had, there has always been plenty of complications. And as far as I can tell, in the relationships of my friends who have been able to make it work I feel like they have always had to endure that as well. So when do things finally work out? I think when both people find someone that they like/love enough to just push through whatever complications arise.

So yeah...I have to give high praises to the girl for even having the guts to say that it wasn't going to work for her. She wasn't perfect at delivering the message, but when is anyone ever when they have to have one of those tough kinds of talks, know what I mean? I think she had a harder time delivering the news than I did hearing it.

The whole thing is hard though because I hate playing games. If you're too stand-offish than you're being aloof, but if you come out to quickly then you're obsessive. I tried my hand at playing the middle ground of being clear with showing interest, but still wanting to let things play out and see how they all turn out. Didn't work. This feels like a Doogie Howser journal entry. It's already too long, though. And I don't have a clever way of wrapping up the whole thing. I have tons of questions still about it all, and I have so little background on where she's coming from, and I'll probably get none of the answers or information I'm looking for. So it goes...

Oh TV, How I've Missed You!

Dear TV,

Man, I have really missed you. I didn't think it would be so hard, and I thought that I could get by with just a steady diet of sports, reality TV shows, and midseason replacements, but I miss you. I ache for my regularly scheduled programs. It really was a big blow when Heroes had to cut its season short, basically in half. I didn't think you would ever do that to me. Especially to such an important part of my normal TV diet, with a show that I've become so enamored with over only its first two seasons. I just didn't see that coming. And you know how much I love comic book movies and related TV shows. How could you think that wouldn't cut me so deeply? That one really hurt.

Then it only got worse from there. And it's not even like I watch all that much TV. All I'm really asking for is one good solid TV night a week and some scattered goodness here and there. Maybe something that I can have recorded on my DVR that I can get to when I have something to eat, just so I wouldn't have to be alone, but you wouldn't even give me that.

Instead you tried to pawn off My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad like I wouldn't even notice. What was that even about??? Did you really think that would satisfy my hunger pains? especially after you got me hooked on Pushing Daisies? Who knew that Kristin Chenoweth would make such a smooth transition from Broadway to Network Television? You did TV, that's who. I'll admit that bringing back American Gladiators was a smooth move. You know how much I love Hulk Hogan - and I am a real American.



What hurt me the most, however, was that you took away from me my entire Thursday night lineup. You know that I look forward to my TV-palooza nights as much as anything else. I'm not talking about Grey's Anatomy. I may be a borderline 'mo, but at least I'm a somewhat masculine one (most of the time). I'm talking about my fully nourishing diet of My Name Is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, and 30 Rock. Somehow you packed the perfect programming punch those blessed nights. I got all of my RDA of TV from that night alone. I need my nutriets, baby! I need you.

Last night while playing soccer I wasn't having the greatest time. Sure, it was fun to run around and play. I'll always enjoy it, but something felt off. I played on Dave's team most of the night and he was dribbling the ball upfield, passed it off, and then yelled for the guy to "pull it harder!" And with an alertness that I could not at all anticipate, he That's-What-She-Said his own statement in the middle of the game. I couldn't believe my freakin' ears. Who has that kind of presence of mind? I was completely incapacitated; I just couldn't stop laughing. And then I remembered that we have Michael Scott to thank for that line of humor. Sure it was popular before, but that show made that line so mainstream. That's what you do for us TV. Even when you've left me you still have a lasting effect on me. I wish I could have quit you.

But tonight you're coming back with a full hour of My Name Is Earl. No, this season hasn't been as entertaing as last season, but I'll take anything right now. And next week you're giving me back my Office. I wish I had more pride and could say no to you, but I can't. I don't know how you're going to salvage this final season of Scrubs for me, but I don't care anymore. I need you. I need your TV energy to ignite the chlorophyll within me so I can live. I don't think I can survive without you stimulating the photosynthesis within my heart.

I don't care what happened in the last six months anymore. Yes, you cut me to the bone. But let's just start over. Just you and me, tonight curled up together like two spoons, so close that no one else can tell where you stop and I begin. Let's try this again. We'll make it work.

Your Helpless Love Slave,

Chris

Sports Beat

Guys...you're all pumped for the start of baseball season aren't you? I actually think I'm going to take a day off in May to get in day baseball game at Angel Stadium. Dave...I'm looking at you buddy. How does shirts off in the outfield sound to you? I know - AWESOME. I've been hanging out with a girl lately and she has this super sarcastic way of saying awesome and I just love it to death.

Speaking of no shirts...I wish I could have had some pictures, but we moved Greg Reid out of the house last Saturday. I guess the move was longer than that, but we cleared out the big stuff and the last of it that day. Why do we always seem to make moving so much fun? While driving the moving truck back and forth, one of us would get in the cargo area while the other drove and swerved around. We also had an extended no shirts moving session. I'm sorely disappointed that Caitlin and Laura didn't join in the fun of the revival of the No Shirts Club, but I think maybe it was a little breezy for their liking. On hand I think we had the President, Vice President, and Treasurer all show up. I forget my title. I think I'm the Ambassador for the Club. I don't know if I've ever laugh as often as I do when we're moving stuff. I remember moving Doug into his crappy little apartment soon after he got married and Dave and I were trying to carry the fridge up this narrow stairway and I can't remember why I started laughing, but we had to lay down the refrigerator on its side because we were laughing too much. There is something really great about getting everyone to laugh when they're carrying very heavy and valuable objects, but I digress...

Back to jump roping (I know I never mentioned it in this post, but sometime true transitions are a hassle to put in)...do you all realize how much coordination it takes to swing that rope around, jump, and get the timing right? Granted, I've only jumped rope about 10 times in the last 20 years, but I was feeling so uncoordinated last night trying some different moves. The crazy part is that I can run 5 miles no problem, but jumping rope for 15 minutes straight? It's hard as heck to do that. I was pretty proud fo the fact that I did get a good run of switching from straight jumping with two feet, to doing the running in place, to the crossover, and back through all of those without missing a beat. Not bad for a couple of tries at it. That video I posted last week with Floyd Mayweather doing the dance moves while jumping rope is a serious turn on for me. No joke. And I wonder why people think I'm gay?

So it's a good time in the sports world. The Angels home opener is this Friday and we have tickets. I'm so pumped about that. Not only is it the home opener, but it's Big Bang Fireworks Friday Night. Woo! Many a hot dog and chipwich will be had that evening. And not to mention the fact that the Angels are starting off pretty strong. They have had strong pitching performances in each of the last three outings, two of them being wins. So far it's been a little disheartening having our two best starters from last year start the season the disabled list, but at least we have some good young arms and the acquisition of John Garland from the White Sox makes Reagins look prescient. Good use of that word, me. Thanks. Hopefully Howie Kendrick and Casey Kotchman can blossom this season and Hunter, Anderson, and Guerrero each get in full seasons. Should be interesting.

I'm a little worried on the basketball front, though. Yeah, they're getting Pau Gasol back tonight (who has been just awesome), but Derek Fisher has a partially torn tendon in his foot that takes about 2 months to heal, and Bynum and Ariza are still unknowns. They're saying that it might be right before the playoffs, but I think at some point these injuries are going to catch up to them. This is my prediction: they get the 3 seed in the West, win their first two series, but lose in the Conference Finals. There is just too much going on with injuries and the West is too strong, and too much has to come together in the next month or so. I think next year they'll surely be the favorites to win it all. But the NBA has never been so exciting. At least not in several years, but this has to be fun for anybody who likes any of the Western Conference teams, just because everyone is so competitive.

Okay...the Raiders. I can't believe I still stick with these guys. They have put me through so much these last several years. I can't hate on the fact that Al Davis really seems to have gone to every length imaginable to try and get some wins for us next season, but this is the same recipe that Dan Snyder of the Redskins used to employ and it hasn't gotten those guys anywhere. Nevertheless, we still have The Franchise in Jamarcus Russell, and the number four pick in this month's draft. I'm praying that we trade that with the Cowboys and their two first-rounders and maybe a second. That would help us recover some of what we gave up to get the current roster we have. The most encouraging sight for Raiders fans, however, has to be Lane Kiffin addressing the media yesterday and admitting some of the difficulties coaching for the Raiders, but looking like he's there at least for the duration of the season. The guy is standing his ground, and that's the only kind of coach that can survive in that kind of environment.

And March Madness...has it left anyone feeling a little bit empty? Stretching out the games from 2 to 3 weeks has really sapped the momentum it carries. Having the tournament finals almost in the middle of April kind of kills it for me. Plus the fact that there are no real Cinderella teams and it's just all number ones has made this season pretty unspectacular. And BYU blew it. Again. And my brackets suck. Or at least I'm not winning. All of this adds up to me being pretty disinterested at this point.

Planet B-Boy

Have you guys seen this trailer yet?



Who else is as excited as I am? Karen, I'm sure. That may be it. Holy hell. It's playing here in Irvine. Visit the website at Planet B-Boy to see if it's playing at a theater near you.

Who Was An April Fool Today?

You know what I realized today? I will fall for any trick you play on me. ANYTHING. Do you know what that means? I trust you guys way too much, and we do not play enough tricks on one another. I think the best ever April Fool's joke was freshman year at BYU and Laura and Brenna toilet papering my car, but not just that, they changed our voicemail message. I have a CD with the copy of the message on there, and I wish I could transfer it on to here because it's so dang good. The message itself is pretty funny, but the best part is that Dave and I had no idea that it had been changed until the very end of the Winter semester, which was like 3 full weeks later. Nobody said anything about it. It was so awesome. So for that entire time, everyone who called and left a message on our voicemail was getting these mocking guy-girl voices, speaking in higher tones even though they themselves are girls to begin with. That was the best ever. Then sometime later while at BYU, Dave and I were dating some girls that were in the same ward, and I knew that his girlfriend was pulling pranks on us, and I assumed it was just her. And I was so put out by her practical jokes, but little did I know that it was my girlfriend that was the instigator in much of what went on that day.

What did you all do today? It would be nice if you guys actually shared what tricks you pulled, because I think some of them are pretty good, especially Greg's and Karen's. So humor me and at least make comments and let us know. Thanks loyal readers. All three or four of you.

So at work I send out a weekly employment bulletin that has a listing of our available positions. Today I thought it would be funny to post some made up positions, and also include some positions of people who are still with the company like they were either fired or they were leaving the company. I also included a disclaimer at the bottom that I'm sure nobody read that said it was a joke, and to please let me keep my job. What was so scary about it was that a few months ago when I first started sending them out, I had already been talked to about my emails because they weren't serious enough. I was really nervous about sending it, but decided it would be worth whatever reprimand I would get for doing it. Several people liked the made up positions (thanks Greg for the help), but the best was that several people approached the people whose positions I had advertised for because they really thought they were leaving. And one crazy lady that is always trying to refer her relatives for jobs at the company sent me another email because she really had thought that we were hiring for Assistant Forensic Cartographers, Senior Support Analyst - Lumbar Group, Key Grip, and Sabremetric Consultants, like we had just opened up a bunch of new positions. She punched me later in the day.

My boss called up from Atlanta that afternoon and told me that she was going to relocate to Atlanta, and that our CEO wanted her to convince me to stay and not go back to school. She didn't realize that I totally bought it, but luckily I don't reveal a whole lot when I'm unsure about a something out of the ordinary. She told me that she was planning on actually putting together a final check and that I was going to be fired over having sent out that bulletin. I wish she would have done that. I would have been scared to death and totally bought it, but it would have been worth it for the joke.

How about a special shout out to Google for all the crap that they do. I love that every year I totally fall for whatever dumb trick they pull on gmail. And my reaction was exactly the same this year as it was last year. I see whatever they're trying to pull and I think to myself, that is a really weird new feature, who would use that? isn't that going to create a bunch of problems? Oh well, I love all things Google so they must know better than I do. I'm a total idiot. My favorite, though, was on YouTube how all of the featured videos directed you to the Rick Astley video for Never Gonna Give You Up. We were all Rick Rolled, Google. Thanks.