Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Peter Christopher Silva

Towards the end of Amy's pregnancy whenever she would flinch or something kind of pop up, I would ask her, jokingly, "are you gonna have a baby?"

Once we got within 3 or so weeks, I began making the same joke, but in more earnestness. Cut to Monday night, January 13th. We had just participated in an FHE with a couple of other families in the MBA program. We had a nice evening and then just went home.

We were just kind of sitting around, casually talking back and forth while she sat at the computer desk, and I took a call from my best friend, Dave. Amy stood up when she noticed some amount of water that come out. I don't know of a better way to say that. I was still on the phone with Dave, joking with him about having him there for the actual experience of our baby, when as more time passed, it became more and more apparent that our baby was actually coming.

By that time it was almost 11:30 at night and we were assembling everything for our hospital trip. Although Peter's induction date was only a week and a half away, and his actual due date 2 weeks away, it still caught us off guard. We hadn't packed bags or prepared anything for the actual hospital trip. Still though, with our first trip to deliver a baby at the hospital, we already had some sense for how this would go for Amy, so instead of rushing to get out, she and I both took showers, I made her some toast, and we got Jane ready to drop her off at our friends, the Paxsons.

 We are so lucky to have the Paxsons. They were ready for our midnight call and were glad to take Jane in for the evening. Besides being so obviously accommodating, they also happened to live just right down the street from the hospital. Although Jane was now completely awake and not quite ready for us to leave, we knew she was in good hands and that she would do pretty well in spite of the jarring wake up call and displacement. (They also verified later that in spite of staying up for another hour or two, she handled everything pretty well.)

 We arrived at the hospital some time around 12:30am. Amy doesn't really have regular contractions (at least initially) so it is kind of hard for her to tell when those are coming on so getting on pitocin quickly is standard for her. She also had to run through a course of antibiotics for some strep strain she had tested positive for, so it would be a few hours before things would get going. This time, however, it didn't seem like it would take as long this time as it did last time (17 hours).

 You know what's funny? I had a lot of late nights last semester between working on school assignments and my thesis, but staying up late into the night this time around was really hard on me. I was just so tired. She got her epidural probably some time around 3 or 4am and fortunately that provided no additional complications.

From that point it was just waiting for the baby to come. It was around 6:30 or when Amy alerted the nurse that she was feeling a lot of pressure from the baby, to which the nurse replied something like, well, it looks like that baby is about ready to come. She notified Dr. Lamoreaux and the rest of the staff and then we had a baby.

 It almost feels unfair to describe Peter's birth story because it was just so easy. Amy's water broke, we dropped Jane off, and then basically took naps until she was ready to push him out. Once the pushing began it must have been like three pushes and then we had our new son, Peter Christopher Silva. At one point the doctor even told her to stop pushing because he was already starting to exit on his own.

 There is nothing like it, nothing like watching your newborn child enter into the world. This time, at least, I didn't get much more emotional beyond just a surge of adrenaline and excitement at seeing him. Like Jane, he cried a little once he came out, but he was otherwise very calm. Jane was very pale because she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but Peter had some good color right away. It also helped his delivery that he was smaller than Jane, 7lbs 2oz, 19" long (as compared to 8lb 2oz, 20" for Jane). Peter was born at 6:51am on January 14th, 2014.

After each delivery Amy was exhausted, but the first time it was more from the delivery process. This time it was mostly just a lack of sleep. See? It's just unfair. We complain that her deliveries come in the night instead of the daytime rather than having any kind of real harrowing experiences.

This experience has been so different for us, mostly because we have done this before. With your first child everything is a little daunting - you've never had to be responsible for a child, never had to be the sole provider for all of the basic needs of a little baby, but once you have that first, you're armed with experience and it just makes everything so much easier. Another thing too is that some people will talk about their bursting love and expanded capacity for love once they meet their little baby. Amy and I don't have that. I love Jane way more than I love Peter right now, but that's because the way I (and I think I can see "we" here too) bond is through time and by meeting that baby's needs. I know I'll love him the same as I do Jane, but that's going to take some time and experiencing life together, which I'm so excited to do. (Plus, Jane is just awesome. I may never love any of my children more than her, let's be honest.)

One thing I also wanted to mention was the timing of this thing. Peter's due date was January 27th. His induction was scheduled for a Friday, January 24th. This whole time we had been saying that it would have been so nice for him to have been due just a week earlier to take advantage of a break that I have within the program from January 15th-20th. It seemed like a stretch, but it just so happened that in one of our prayers a couple night's before he was born I asked that he come a little earlier, and if possible, that Tuesday the 14th or Wednesday the 15th. When I told one of my friend's in the program about this he pointed out, "good thing that you asked." That made me think of this part from the entry on prayer in the Bible Dictionary found in our scriptures: The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. I don't know exactly if I sped up the timeline when I mentioned that in my prayer, but I am going to assume that I did. He really hears us and I'm so grateful that this worked out the way that it did.

Children are an heritage of the Lord. That is the phrase that keeps on going through my head these last couple weeks since we had Peter. My kids are my greatest blessings besides my dear wife. I can't describe how blessed we are to have them, to have our own little family. And also that Amy's experience with pregnancy and labor is so mild compared to most people's experiences. Honestly, it makes me feel that because of that great blessing, it is now incumbent upon us to have all the children that we can. There is no real reason not to. We feel that we are in a position to take care of these kids, Jane and now Peter are relatively easy to handle, and her body can bear her pregnancies, so we need to take full advantage of those blessings. Where so many people cannot for whatever reason, we can so it's on us to do it. Hopefully that makes sense.

Anyway, I love my little family. It's a wonderful life.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Strung Out Live at the HOB Anaheim

So in case you were wondering, this is what a punk show looks like. This music is not for the faint of heart. Also, it has some language.

It's totally ridiculous that I still love going to these shows, but I just do. And it's equally silly that I actually have a group of friends that all like doing this too. At one point, before the show started, we actually counted how many kids we had between all of us and had a laugh about how much has changed over the years since we started going to these shows. (The answer is 13...with two on the way. Crazy, right?)


Saturday, January 4, 2014

2013: Year in Review

Man, I have really fallen off, haven't I?

The thing is, blogs are by far my favorite form of social media. You can communicate so much more. Post more pictures. I feel like you get a much better sense for people and I'm a weirdo in that I will actually read everything and look at everything that people post, of the ones that I like anyway. You guys probably know who you are. So here's to hoping that I get back on the train in 2014 with blogging.

So what was this last year like for us?

Pretty amazing. We had an amazing experience over the summer getting to spend it out in Michigan and seeing so much of the country. We got to visit friends in Mississippi and head down to New Orleans. I had my first taste of spring training and we saw Mike down in Arizona. I actually finished my Masters thesis and completed that degree (post forthcoming), and I am 3/4s of the way done with the MBA program.

I didn't run a marathon this year for the first time since 2007...really? Wow. But I may run one next year (this year?) depending on where we end. In fact, I kind of fell off with running for awhile there. Granted, I wasn't running several times a week, but for about the whole summer, I didn't have any regular running schedule. I definitely missed that a lot. I did run one half, trained for another and ended up not running it. Now I'm running again and hoping to run a half in April. Maybe March. We'll see.

I also got my lowest GPA this past semester. I really fell off the end there with trying to get my thesis ready to be defended (success!). And you know what? I couldn't care less. Last semester ended up being a lot more harrowing than I thought it would be. I didn't really care for any of my classes and I was probably overloaded (18.0 credit hours, eesh), but still managed to get through it all.

We got pregnant and are now only a couple of weeks away from meeting our little guy. Jane is amazing. I mean, really, truly, just so amazing. She brings us more joy than I could have ever imagined. I can honestly say that being a parent is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, behind marrying my wife and joining the church. It's endless how much delight Jane brings to my life. I say it every day and absolutely mean it. It's incredible. Now I'm almost nervous if Jane set the bar too high for Peter (yup). We'll see, I guess.

Still not any more clarity with the job hunt, but things are moving and I imagine will pick up again as normal work weeks start again next week.

Can you believe how much your life can change in such a short time period? Unreal.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Grateful160

About a month ago I signed up for a service called Grateful160. It's a daily reminder sent to your email or as a text message that just asks you what you are grateful for. Then, each week it sends you a review of those things.

It only takes a few seconds each day to do it and it's fun to look back on. You can sign up by clicking on this link. Here is my compilation from the last few weeks.

Saturday (10/26)

10:59 PM
I'm grateful for college football and a wife who loves going to the games with me. It's really fun to have a night out with our little family on a nice fall evening and that BYU football is really getting it together.

Tuesday (10/29)

11:50 AM
I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood. I got a blessing Sunday night and it was so great to be reminded again to have a bigger perspective than just my next interview and job opportunity.


I'm also so grateful for fantasy sports and friends that are fun to draft and play those games with. Just love it.


Wednesday (10/30)

09:24 AM
I am really grateful that I got the interview with Chevron, and even just knowing that it was a more selective process up front. I thought it was open to the whole world, so I didn't think anything of it when I was selected to be among the interviewees. I like that my odds are better, but it makes me feel better overall about the amount of interest that I am able to garner from employers in this process. It helps me to feel more optimistic about my chances of finding something going forward. And I think the interview went well, regardless if I get the job or not. I appreciated how straightforward their process is.

Thursday (10/31)

11:49 AM
I am so grateful for Jane. She had a really rough night last night and so she had a terrible time sleeping, but it was so sweet the way she would calm down so quickly when I picked her up and the way she fell asleep with me on the couch. It's amazing to me the amount of happiness she brings into my life. There are very few people or things that I do that make me feel so full with love and gratitude as Jane does for me.

Last Friday (11/01)

01:10 PM
I am really grateful for Halloween. It is such a fun holiday and I love how kids and adults can both get excited about it, dress up and be silly together. We went to a ward activity yesterday and it was fun to get good reactions from ward people and see people in a different context.


I also wanted to say how grateful I am for Jane. She is just the sweetest little girl. I think I said this yesterday, but I'm just always feeling it with her.

Saturday (11/02)

11:24 AM
I am grateful for a wife who loves to go bowling. And she did awesome by the way, 27 weeks pregnant and all. She's the love of my life. I have so much fun with her.

Sunday (11/03)

12:46 PM
I'm grateful to be doing work that is at least mostly engaging. I'm at a point with my thesis where I can really start pushing through it and get it done, and I think it'll be a really interesting exercise. I'm excited to see what comes of it, and to have it out of the way. While I may not love all of my classes or what I'm doing, there are at least bits and pieces here and there that I really am so interested in and I hope that I can continue that kind of work going forward.

Monday (11/04)

11:11 AM
I'm really grateful for good friends. Yesterday we had the Morris family come over for dinner and they've become some really good friends of ours. They are just so down to earth and easy to talk to. I really appreciate their friendship and it's so nice to be able to relate with them because of how close Mariah and Jane are in age.

Tuesday (11/05)

12:59 PM
I am grateful for Jane. She is just so sweet. It's always a highlight in my day to come home and see her and see her put her arms up for me. I love how much she wants to hang out with me when I'm around and play with me and do things together. I didn't really know before what was so great about having a little girl, but now I get it. I hope we have more and I couldn't love that little girl more than I do. She lights up my life.

Wednesday (11/06)

08:38 AM
I am so grateful that I have a best friend. I got to talk to Dave last night and it was just nice to hear about his time in Hawaii and what that vacation is like. It's so nice to have someone that you can be so connected to at such a deep level.

Thursday (11/07)

08:33 AM
I am so grateful to be friends with Marshall and Yetta. They are such great people. I got the opportunity yesterday to help Marshall move some cabinets and sometimes I forget just how fun it is to talk to Marshall. He's very thoughtful and asks interesting questions. He's just a really great guy and I'm glad to know him.


I'm also grateful for the times when I go to check in on Jane at night and she hears me and gets up for me to pick her up. I don't know how long she's been doing it, but when she's ready to sleep she cuddle right in and tuck her arms and hands in between her legs as she leans on your shoulder. I just love it. I love how cuddly she is, but it's not ever in a needy way. She just likes to cuddle. She's the sweetest little thing.

Last Friday (11/08)

03:03 PM
I'm grateful to finally feel like this thesis is going to wrap up. I finished up (I think, at least) my data analysis and nothing really came of the findings, but I'm just glad that I see some light at the end of this. I feel like it's going to finish up, and may be a little last minute, but I'm just excited for it to wrap up and be done. The experience will be valuable and I do appreciate that, but I'm excited to just be able to move on to something else different. I'll be glad to get this albatross off my neck.

Saturday (11/09)

09:25 AM
I'm really grateful for my MBA program because of the great people I get to associate with. I love being around these people and hearing about the neat things that they're involved in. It's inspiring to hear what they're doing and makes me want to be a better person and do more with my life as well. I just love it.

Sunday (11/10)

09:49 AM
Even when the day turns out all wrong, my wife is still so great to be around. Nothing worked out for us yesterday. Our babysitter fell through, we couldn't get anything done at our house, and the construction guys were in our kitchen all day long, but we came home, played games, and everything was fine. I was a little sour, but it helps so much when your partner is just so willing to make the best of any situation. I love my wife and I am so grateful for her.

Monday (11/11)

09:06 AM
I am grateful to have such an inspired bishop. Yesterday I gave a talk on the power of invitations, and the speaker who followed after me seemed to be the perfect person to give his talk, and then bishop gave his. I was just so impressed with the whole meeting and it was very apparent how inspired he was to choose the speakers that he did. Bishop Nelson himself is such a capable person and I am constantly impressed by his insight and his clarity in delivering his messages. I'm grateful that he is my leader because he is so easy to follow.

Tuesday (11/12)

08:56 AM
I'm grateful for the example of my wife. She's so diligent with everything she does. She just seems to have a constant motor with getting things done and it makes me want to be a better husband to her as a result.

Wednesday (11/13)

09:25 AM
I am so grateful for a healthy body and for exercise. I can't believe how much I love running, how good it makes me feel, and just what a release it is for me. I went out yesterday for the first time since my half marathon and it was such a nice feeling being out there and running. I only went for three, but it just felt wonderful.

Thursday (11/14)

09:23 AM
I'm grateful for naps. Sometimes you just really need one and I love that I have a wife that can be sensitive to that and let me catch some quick zzz's while Jane is hovering around me.

Last Friday (11/15)

12:24 PM
I am really grateful for the opportunities that are available through the MBA program. I know that I haven't been able to fully appreciate and reap the benefits yet since I'm still looking for a full time job following graduation, but I know that there are great things still out there and I feel really fortunate for what will be coming our way because I know it'll be great.

Saturday (11/16)

10:07 AM
I'm grateful for the work that I am doing. I got to go to a plant and while the actual work I was doing, it is neat to think about the different ways that I can be involved in helping to improve the things around me. It makes me realize how much I can contribute to the world if I am just willing to make some effort to do so. I got some good feedback from Dr. Brown today about my thesis and I'm excited to be wrapping that up in the next few weeks, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to launch into some new projects that will be interesting to me. It's a great time in my life.

Sunday (11/17)

09:34 AM
I am grateful for my sweet wife. She is so accommodating when it comes to letting me get what I need to do for school and makes sure that she takes care of everything that she needs to so that I don't have to have any concerns about our home life. She takes care of all of my needs and that of the family's. She's just wonderful.

Monday (11/18)

10:13 AM
I am grateful for the ward that we are in. Every so often I start to think that maybe there is something that I don't like about this or that in the ward, but then there occurs something in church that changes my thinking and  helps me to see something new. I'm really grateful to be here.


Also, I'm so grateful for the blessings that become available because of obeying the commandment to pay tithing. I recently read Elder Bednar's talk from last conference. He touches on some points that I think we are directly experiencing, but I realized in the last few days that I have been wanting less much more these days, and that is such a huge blessing when times are tight. A lot of times that is a struggle for me - wanting more - and so I become a bigger consumer, but this last year or so has changed me and that has been tremendous for being much more content with everything that I have in my l ife. It's a tremendous blessing.

Tuesday (11/19)

08:34 AM
I am thankful to get a good night's rest. I got two hours the previous night because I was up late working on my thesis. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel though as I'l' be sending out a draft this evening and scheduling my defense for two weeks from today. I'm also so grateful for Dr. Brown. I love how positive he is and always so encouraging, even if he can sometimes be a little unrealistic sometimes.


Wednesday (11/20)

09:23 AM
I am so grateful for productivity. I love the feeling of being engaged in your work and learning new things and the struggle that comes from trying to learn, then learning it, and then really making it work. I love that. I had a good evening last night between sending off my thesis to my committee, and then writing up a case for my Quality class - one that I don't feel comfortable in, but worked at nonetheless. It's great. I just love it.

Thursday (11/21)

09:14 AM
I am grateful to just have a nice quiet evening with my wife at home. I love coming home to see Jane and she gets all excited and walks up to me and holds her arms out. I love just catching up on our shows with Amy. It's fun to laugh and just veg with her. She's so easy to be around and I love our lives together.

Today (11/22)

08:17 AM
I am so grateful for Jane. It makes me feel so awesome how much she loves me. If I am at all in the house she comes to me, holds her arms out, waits for me to pick her up, or takes my fingers and walks around the house with me. I ended up holding her for nearly 40 minutes when I went in her room last night and accidentally woke her up. I just love her so much and she makes me feel so good.

Saturday (11/23)

12:38 AM
I know I say this all of the time, but I am so grateful for Jane. She lights up my life. I was telling Amy the other day about how much I want to write about what a dream Jane is because I feel like we end every day of her whole life up to this point talking about how much we love Jane, about how easy she is to take care of, how sweet she is, and just what a happy and wonderful little baby we have. Not a day goes by that I don't think often about how much joy she brings into my life. I love her more than anything.

Sunday (11/24)

12:40 AM
I am so grateful for a healthy body. I have been busy lately so I have been cutting out exercise as a result, so when the workouts do come I end up feeling so good afterward and think repeatedly to myself about how much I love being active and taking care of my body. I am so grateful to be able to move and do different things. I am so grateful for what a stress reliever that is for me and how much it improves my mood.

Monday (11/25)

10:23 AM
I am so grateful for Scott and Elisha. We haven't seen them nearly enough since we've been back from the summer, but every time we do see them, I come away thinking how grateful I am for Amy's family as whole, but especially for Scott and Elisha. I just admire them so much as people and as parents. They exemplify so much then kind of parent that I'd like to be and I'm just always so impressed with the way they handle themselves and the kind of philosophy that they adopt for how they live their lives. They're just so great and I see so much in them that I'd like to emulate in my own life.

Tuesday (11/26)

09:09 AM
I am so grateful for Thanksgiving week as it relates to school. Things are wrapping up really nicely and I love where this holiday falls in the semester and how it proceeds Christmas by so little. It's a good thing to be reminded of the things that you're grateful for.

Wednesday (11/27)

09:47 AM
I am so grateful for the home teaching program in the church. I was just encouraging my families to read their scriptures regularly, &nbsp_place_holder;to rededicate themselves, and it really surprised me how much they all needed that prodding. And these are very active people. It just made me realize how much everyone needs that reminding. And I also felt how important it is to be sitting on both sides of the home teaching conversation. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

International You Day

One of my favorite punk bands growing up was No Use For a Name. They were a part of the Fat Wreck Chords music label, which is a pretty close knit community. The front man, Tony Sly, was known within their circles as being one of the better songwriters and just about everyone's favorite song is International You Day, a song that he wrote for his wife.

Last July Tony died in his sleep, next to his wife. He also has two daughters. The outpouring of grief was touching and recently the Fat Wreck Chords community assembled to put together a tribute album of his band's songs. I bought it and I kind of love it.

I mean, I still prefer most of the originals, but it's cool to hear your favorite band cover a song from another band you love, or to hear what Bad Religion does with one of their songs. It's all pretty neat.

What really touched me, and very unexpectedly so, was that they included a version that Tony had done of International You Day. It's toned down from the original and very sentimental. But what really got me was the last few lines of the song. Following are the lyrics of the last verse:

I'm coming home today
to wipe the tears right from your eyes
I'm totally enamored by your life
nothing that I've done
has ever been for one

But without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that I have so much more to tell you
every single day

My life is incomplete
my rights are absolutely gone
so wake me up
before you leave today
something I need to say
cause they'll be nothing when you're gone.


Take a listen for yourself. I'm pretty sure that the cheering at the end is dubbed in, but it's just how I'd expected a bunch of hardened 40 year old punk rockers to pay tribute to their lost friend. It really kind of got to me this morning. I just loved it.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Jane, My Heart

Jane is so fun lately.

She's walking all the time now, except for when I chase after her and she walks until she falls down and then crawls away as quickly as she can to mom.

She's very naturally playful. I love it. One of her things lately is when I start putting on shoes to head out, she'll come over and grab one of my shoes and run away from me. It's so fun.

While she can walk just fine on her own, she still loves having me walk around with her holding her hands. Part of it is so that she can go faster, but I think it's mostly so she can keep me playing with her as long as she can.

She's always cuddly in the mornings. And even at night. I can usually get her to settle into the crook of my arm on the couch and watch TV with me.

She still loves Fantastic Mr. Fox. She fetches it out of the DVD collection and as soon as it is on she is in a total trance. She'll pause in whatever position she is in and lock in for a solid 20 minutes or so. It's crazy, because she doesn't have that response to anything else. She'll watch anything for a little while, but she never locks in like that.

Jane is very naturally obedient. It's so nice because you can tell her yes or no to things and she's really good at following with most things. Even with things like wiping her nose when its runny, which she hates, you can usually reason with her pretty easily and she will turn over and let you wipe it.

She doesn't do any performing though. And she isn't very verbal at all. I'm excited for her to start using her little voice.

She's a one nap baby, taking one killer 2-3 hour in the afternoon. And she's a dream when it comes to sleeping. She goes down easy and wakes up at 7:30 or so.

I just hope that Peter doesn't rock her world too much, but I can't imagine that it will. She's got such a sweet and mild temperament.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Hardest Part


This job search thing has been a very humbling experience, although I actually had a harder time with it last year. It might have been because I was hearing a lot more no's, but I think having the experience under my belt from last year, I know things work out, and I think I don't have the same expectations that I did a year ago.

I read an article this morning about how being forced to wait has very positive effects: do better at school, get better jobs, more rewarding and stable social relationships, among others.

I had a flyback with Citi a couple of weeks ago and I finally got some real feedback from one of the people who interviewed me. From what I understood, I think I didn't get the job because of the very last line on my resume that says "passion for the tech industry..." which gave them some questions about my long term commitment to the company. It was a stupid oversight that I'm sure I will never make again.

It's an interesting process, but I can attest to the fact that it has really made me think a lot more about where I'd like to be, what skill-sets I'd like to develop, and the ways in which I'd like to make my mark. I''m reaching out in ways to people that I'm sure I wouldn't have before because I've been forced to think about how I can market myself and the long-term contributions I'd like to be able to make. I am reading more articles about analytics and thinking about ways I can further refine that skill-set. I reached out to an old bishop here at BYU to ask him about program evaluation and how I can become more competent in that area. It's forced me to open up more and I can already see the value in being made to wait.

The experience has been trying, for sure, but at the same time I think it has forced me to be more serious and I think that delayed gratification has been important for me.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Game Changer

It's weird how something major in your life can happen, and while you're waiting for it to happen you can know so little about it and wonder so much, but then soon after it happens, it feels like it's always been that way the whole time. It felt that way with going into the mission field, coming back from serving a mission, getting married, and most recently with having Jane.

I remember wondering so much about what it would be like to have a kid - to not be able to go to movies freely anymore, or to doing a round of 9 with Amy for FHE, or any of the other things that are easy to do when you don't have kids. (Incidentally, shouldn't there be a word for married people without children? MWOC? Maybe I'll just use that.)

Every so often Amy and I will get out on a date night and all of sudden it comes back how easy it is to be MWOC. You get in and out of a car without having to pick anything else up. You walk into a restaurant and don't have to pick up a high chair. Heck, you walk in and don't even have to worry about what it is that your kid is going to eat for a meal. You can walk into a movie theater and hold hands and it makes sense and doesn't feel forced. That's how it feels, by the way, when you try and hold hands with your spouse and you're also carrying a baby, or pushing a stroller, or holding onto whatever else. It just doesn't make sense to do that, let alone to do the whole door opening thing at the car.

It's so refreshing and nice to have those date nights because it is so easy to just focus on the one that you're with. It becomes such an important thing to do.

And it's during these times that makes me realize how much purpose having Jane brings into my life. I don't just live for myself. Things start to change somewhat when you get married because you can see the impact with immediacy of what your actions and decisions do to the other person, but with a child, it becomes so much bigger. Amy can take care of herself at the restaurant, but Jane doesn't eat if I/we don't think of her. Jane doesn't survive from today through tomorrow if her needs aren't one of the first things that I think of in the day.

That's how it felt a few weeks ago when Amy and I went out. It's not that you can't have meaning when you don't have kids, but having your own family thrusts meaning full force to the very front and center of everything that you do. It is easily one of the most challenging things that I've ever confronted, not because the task of changing diapers, getting food, or anything else you do with babies is difficult, but because it is so constant. And then those needs grow in importance over time.

The nice thing is how rewarding it is. Jane is such a vibrant source of happiness for me. I wonder all the time what it is that filled up my life before this and I really don't know. I guess I just never had any idea then.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I'm a Rambling Man



Really we're a rambling family. I think I already mentioned how much we drove this past summer somewhere on here, but I had a flight to New York a couple weeks ago for a flyback with Citi (don't worry, I didn't get it) and that meant that I ended up touching down in my 20 state THIS YEAR. Since January. Isn't that crazy? Highlighted in red is every state that we spent at least some amount of time in since January.

It's been an amazing year for us as a family. It's so crazy to me when I lay it all out like that on a map. 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Lonely Dad

It's funny, but I was going to post last week about how important social interactions class. Being that I have spent a few to several years of schooling studying social psychology and am now taking a class in the program called Teams and Work Groups, I was going to talk about how important social interactions are. How they increase life expectancy, decrease depression, have a salubrious effect on all of these health outcomes that outdoes not-smoking, exercising regularly, and even eating healthy, among other things. (Mind you, this effect has only been demonstrated for actual social interactions, and nothing media based. We often pretend like that's a legitimate outlet, but it's not.)

In the week and half that we had been home when I was going to write that post, we had gone to a barbecue with three other couples from the MBA program, been invited to dinner twice in our new ward, visited Scott and Elisha, hung out with a few other couples, and I was in school, teaching a bowling class, sitting down with every other student/friend in the program that I could whenever I had a free minute, and I was just loving it.

And then my wife and now 1-year old went out of town.

I have been able to exercise consistently for the first time in months, catch up on things that had to get done, oversee our house and make sure everything is getting completed, and I just feel so empty. I don't sleep well.

Normally, when Amy is home, I have the easiest time falling asleep, but now, even on days when I'm feeling tired and should be ready to go to bed, it takes me an hour or more to really fall asleep. I will doze in and out, but if I'm down for bed at midnight, it's often like 1:30 AM before I'm actually asleep. It's interesting the ways you get affected by things.

I can't even begin to explain the amount of joy that comes from being a father and husband. My knees get weak when I can come home and I know that Jane has heard me walk in and to see her turn around and start crawling quickly for me...it just melts me right into the ground. I love it.

To be honest, sometimes it's hard juggling the balance of wanting to spend my evening with Amy and connect with her and while also feeling like I need to get things done. But after having the last 5 or 6 days to myself doing whatever I feel like, all I want is for them to come home.

It's amazing the way love can develop. It becomes this deep and abiding feeling that matures and swells, occupying every piece of you out to the tips of your fingers and toes. I find it crazy and wonderful that I get to experience this as my marriage draws out and my kid, now kids, grow and physically lengthen.

This is my jam lately. Listening to it almost broke me down yesterday.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Time to Disconnect

The bowling scene kills me. The idea is well executed and so true.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Now That Summer Is Almost Over

So much happened this past summer. We went to Michigan. I worked for Ford. We drove over 15,000 miles in less than a four month period which included stops in Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Toronto, Pennsylvania, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Idaho, Oregon, and California.

Then, during one of those fateful trips, a hinge on my laptop got broken. Turns out it is not a laptop that can be covered by warranty repair places and could not be salvaged, so a few weeks and about $500 later, I have a new laptop. Not great.

But with this new laptop I hope to finish my thesis (fingers crossed), edit the over 1,000 video clips I collected from over this summer, and search for a job for next year, and blog much about everything going on in our lives and that went on recently.

Starting...now!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Jane over time

Jane at birth.


At one month.


2 months.


3 months.


4 months.


5 months.


6 months.


7 months.


8 months.


9 months.


10 months.


Don't you just love her?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Can't Nobody Hold Us Down

Finally, a different kind of post, although I'm sure the five of you out there love hearing about Jane.





Something that Amy and I were determined to not have happen was to be a couple that stopped doing things just because they have kids. We've had some other good models to blaze trails for us, so we really wanted to make sure that we kept ourselves moving.


A lot of our ability to do that is just having such an awesome baby in Jane, but I have to think that part of it is just giving Jane every opportunity to adapt and learn to roll with things as we go and try and keep up with our adventures. I know that there are some people that would say that is selfish of us, but I think kids are really resilient and if we can give them a chance, they can get really good at adapting to whatever is thrown at them, provided that we still try and be sensitive to their needs and they know that while we might always be on the go, they can always know they'll find stability in their parents.



This year has been kind of amazing for us. Jane was born on September 12 of last year. Since then we've been to California twice, Vancouver, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arizona, Las Vegas, and driven across the country through Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana to finally arrive and live in Michigan for the summer. Since we've been in Michigan we have been to Toronto, Cleveland/Kirtland, Pittsburgh, Western Michigan (Holland and Grand Rapids), and Northern Michigan (Mackinac Island).





Just last week I was talking to my brother and telling him that we don't get to as many movies as we'd like, but we feel like we still do a lot. He kind of gave me a hard time about how I had supposedly commented on how funny I thought it was that he and his wife don't get out more. I took exception to that. We may not get to the movies as much, only because we don't have the army of available babysitters that we had in Utah, but this week alone we went to a Tigers game, Barenaked Ladies concert, and we are out of town for the third weekend in a row.





As I write, Jane is comfortably sleeping in her pack and play at the foot of the bed. Of the things that I value most in people, two of them are just being able to have fun and being able to roll with things. By September 12, 2014, I think Jane will be well on her way to figuring those things out.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Jane @ 10 months(!)



I can't believe this little girl is only a couple months away from a year. How does that happen?

Jane is just so amazing. Honestly. I think it was only last month that I was saying that Jane was kind of leery of strangers, men in particular. Well that went away just about as quick as it came. The other day some strange man picked her up while Amy had her at the pool and started splashing and playing with her and Jane couldn't have cared less. She just was happy to play in the water. And she courts interaction from strangers everywhere we go. She makes eye contact with anyone that talks to us, like waiters, and waits for them to notice her and she'll smile and make noises. That's another thing.

You can just tell she's understanding her voice and that it is the means to communicate with people. Probably my favorite thing that she does lately is when she's crawling around the apartment looking for me, she'll pause at the spot she sees me and makes her call which is something like, "ah!" And then I chirp back to her and she comes a crawling all smiling and giggly. She's really just so happy all of the time. For as much as we take her and do stuff - and we do a TON of stuff - she just rolls with everything. She can be totally tired and now she's just getting really good at falling asleep anywhere. Last night we went to an outdoor concert and even with the noise and the crowd (we were on the grass on the periphery), she just got really still in Amy's arms and fell asleep. Then I took her the rest of the show and she didn’t even stir while she laid on my chest. (Of course we’re the only bad parents there who had a baby in the first place, but that’s not the point.) 

She crawls with ease and stands every chance she gets. It’s really so fun and it feels like it’s just a matter of time before she just figures it out, although it felt that way with crawling and then it ended up taking her a couple months longer  than we would have guessed, but we’ll see. 

She still only has her bottom teeth. I’m excited for the other ones to pop in and fill out her mouth, but I still love just seeing those two little toofers on the bottom. 

She eats everything, but the fun part is seeing how she reacts to different foods. Amy gave her a lemon slice the other day and I was expecting more of a reaction from her, but she only seemed surprised by it initially, and then she wanted to hold it and ended up just licking it. That’s totally her mom coming out with that move. 

The best was her trying ice cream for the first time last week. We were at PNC Park in Pittsburgh just melting from the humidity so we decided to get a treat. She put her whole mouth on it, not really getting how to eat it at first. By the end, though, she started using her tongue and kept making her excited noises to let us know she wasn’t done. 

Jane is also pretty good with a sippy cup now. It took a little while, but she’s figured it out pretty well. Holding it upright is a still tricky for her when it gets low, but otherwise she’s got it mostly figured out. 

Jane is just so amazing. The two best things about her are just how happy she is and how she rolls with everything. She is so much like her mom that way and it honestly just makes life so easy for us. I could not feel more lucky to call her my own. 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Jane @ 9 months

So this is a week and change over due. I've been working most nights lately on my thesis. It's actually moving along. Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but I might actually finish it.

Jane at 9 months. She crawls. She army crawled for like two days and then all of a sudden she just figured it out. She's so independent now. I know it seems silly to say, but it feels like it. She's able to get where she wants to go, mostly. It's fun to watch her go for things or find her toys. She always takes a direct route too. She never goes around things, like it's not even an option. For example, our table in our nook has these wooden beams that are low and would obstruct a lesser baby, but not Jane. After a week or so, she figured out how to get herself over that little obstacle. She also likes crawling over my chest when I lay down. She goes face first, and sometimes she takes a hard spill, but she's getting better at protecting herself.

She claps now. A lot. It's so cute because she does it whenever she's happy or excited. She claps a lot. She's got two cute little bottom teeth, but her top ones haven't popped yet even though it feels like it's been awhile since the second of those bottom ones came out. That'll come up soon, I'm sure.

She tries to stand up against everything. Amy tells me that when she does the laundry now and brings the basket back, Jane just loves crawling into the basket and then pulling out all of the clothes.

She gets super excited for food, like verging on tears, especially in the mornings.

When I come home and she's just sitting in the living room, she puts down whatever she's playing with and crawls right over to me. It melts my heart. And when I pick her up she goes in for a hug, spreading her arms over me and putting her head on my chest.

She's also very wary of men lately. She just doesn't seem to like men. Any really, except for me.

It's indescribable what she makes me feel. Now when I hear single or newly married people talk about having kids in a way that isn't glowing, I mentally shake my head in disappointment for them. You have no idea what real joy is. Like it says in the temple, joy in your posterity. That's where it comes from. Joy comes from holding my petite little girl in my arms as she's falling asleep or when she squeals and kicks her legs out of excitement when I look back at her in the car.

I saw a video the other day with Louis CK, probably the top stand-up comic at the moment. He talks a lot about being a parent in his routines, although he's pretty vulgar a lot of the time. He said, "what the he** is an adult without kids? What's the point?" I loved it. I love being a dad. I love my little Jane at 9 months.

You can see the clip here, if you'd like. It's clean.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

New Orleans...Finally.

Okay, forever ago we went to Mississippi to visit Greg and Laura. Amy blogged about it here. Well, I finally got around to producing the video. There are a lot of things I don't love about it, but it's done. So here it is.

Look out world!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Wedding Season

Before it gets too far distant, I should probably put together some thoughts about the wedding that I just attended for Annalee and Paul.

I went to California this past weekend and left my wife and child all by their lonesome. I felt bad that they couldn't come, but it just didn't work out. In any case, off I went. It was a 36 hour trip about 2000 miles across the country, but important for me to be there so I went.

I realized tonight that this was probably the last sealing that would take me out to California for the foreseeable future. All of the people that are in California that I feel close enough to to travel for are now married. There's nothing really important about that, but just kind of interesting to me. Annalee is the last of the Reid kids to get married. The sealer made note of that, and I have to think as a parent, that really does bear some significance. From now on, the only things that really matter to Greg and Joyce as far as their kids are concerned are that they remain true and faithful to their covenants and that they get (more) grandkids who grow up in the gospel.

It's really a neat thing for every child in a family to be married in the temple, and there are six of them no less. It's also a neat thing for me to be so close to that family that I actually attended every one of those sealings. I don't know that many people have that kind of closeness and opportunity with people that they feel close to, and I feel really privileged that that is the case for me. I love the Reids so much, and of all of the girls I know, Annalee is probably the closest thing I have to a sister, so that's kind of neat.

The wedding was great. One of my favorite things about sealings is the time in the waiting room when you enter in and you see who else is there in attendance and have conversations with old friends that you haven't seen in years. It's just neat how weddings bring people together like that. And probably the best part about weddings is that they are always so happy. It's such a joyous occasion.

At this point in my life it also causes me a lot of reflection about my own wedding day and the feelings I had that day.

I didn't get many pics, but I got at least I got this one.
As far as Tweeter's wedding, it seemed like everything really came off well. Putting these together is such a labor of love because it's so exhausting for everyone involved. So much work goes into picking out every little detail, and then of course, there is the part I dread most about these things - the clean-up.

These kinds of events always separate people into two categories. The low-lifes and the saints. Some people will just naturally pitch in and help out and close things up. They are the ones who put chairs away in church at the end of the meeting, clean up your kitchen when you've invited them over for dinner, and just make life run more smoothly.

Then there are the ones who just sit there and do absolutely nothing while everyone else is working to get home as quickly as they can. These are the low-lifes.

While I guess I'm a part of the group who helps, it's probably a strike against me that I can only look over at the low-lifes and resent them the whole time, wondering how they can watch other people do all of this work while they stand idly by. Honestly, does anyone really like cleaning these things up? But you just go ahead and do it because many hands make light work, right? Some people just never get that though. It's probably one of my biggest pet peeves in the whole world.

It was such a short trip, but just so much fun to be there with so many people that I love so much. And it's so great to feel the spirit of the temple and to feel the spirit testify to the sacredness of that particular ordinance. I just love it.

Nauvoo, Illinois


Sunday, May 5

It’s getting too far out for me to remember this in as much detail as I would like. Nauvoo was the centerpiece in this road trip and it lived up to every one of our expectations. 



While the weather was cold, windy, and rainy the two days before we arrived in Nauvoo, we arrived to perfect weather. We woke up and went to the Fort Madison branch in Iowa before going back to our hotel and heading into Nauvoo for the day. We got over to Nauvoo and the skies were just perfect. Hardly anyone was in town for the entire time that we were there. It was just perfect.

It’s amazing to me to think about the history of this place and how for anyone not associated with the church, Nauvoo, Illinois isn’t even a blip on their radars. They have no idea what it means to us as a people, and in the grand scheme of things, it is such a place of great importance in the history of the kingdom of God. I thought often about the blessings that the local people, not just the saints, lost in driving the Church from out of this area. Today it’s a totally insignificant little city that sits on the banks of the Mississippi. While some might debate about how important Salt Lake City is to the entire world, I can assure you that the blessings of urbanization, growth, and prosperity that are had in Utah are definitely not present to any degree in Nauvoo today.

We took pictures and walked around the temple. The edifice is just gorgeous. For the me, the only temples that really blow me away that I’ve seen in person are San Diego, Manti, and Salt Lake. Nauvoo probably supercedes all of those for me now. It would have been nice to go inside the building and actually perform ordinance work, but we came on a Sunday and left on a Monday, while also having an 8 month old baby so it just wasn’t going to happen this trip for us.


The highlight of the Sunday was visiting Carthage jail. As you can imagine, Carthage is just a tiny little town. It would bear no significance otherwise if it weren’t for its notorious connection in being the martyr site for the Prophet Joseph Smith.

The prison itself consists of only 3, maybe 4 rooms. It has been restored to resemble what it did in 1844. There is a distinct kind of spirit about the place that you can’t really sense anywhere else. Amy mentions in her post about this day thinking about this idea of whether the spirit is actually present, whether others can feel it, or if it holds significance and feels that way only because we’re members of the church. Obviously, I don’t know, but I tend to believe that the spirit can only attest to that kind of truth for someone open to its influence.



That evening we went out to eat at some bar and grill restaurant that turned out to be pretty good. Jane did much better that next day as we visited Nauvoo again. This time we stopped into the buildings and listened to the senior missionaries share with us the stories of those buildings and their part in contributing to the Nauvoo community. They were really all so sweet to talk to. You could just tell they had been starving for someone to visit with and tell their stories to.

The best part of the morning was walking down the Trail of Hope that has placards inscribed with journal entries of some of the pioneers who were forced to leave their homes and start new lives by trekking west. It was so sad to read. All of it makes me wonder about a lot of things. It’s kind of hard to put into words now.
Visiting Nauvoo was really powerful to me. This trip has been really neat for me just because I have never had the opportunity to go and visit any of these church history sites, besides what’s available in Utah. It’s incredible to walk in that city and think about how those trees were witness to all of those trials and difficulties that the saints faced. You can actually walk the ground and look across the river to the other side where these people looked and think about what a bleak future that must have been in their minds, even if they were looking with an eye of faith. There had to be many moments of doubt. There had to be so much fear about what lay ahead for them, particularly as they were being forced out in the dead of winter to a frontier part of the America that was wild and mostly unknown to anyone.

I just totally fell in love with Nauvoo. I would love to revisit it someday with my own family, anyone who is close to me. Being there made me excited to learn more about church history. Even though it’s not exactly my family that has passed through their, it was so exciting to me to think that my wife’s forbearers had a place in Nauvoo. It all becomes so real and that’s where I think the real value lies in being able to visit these kinds of places and stand in the places of such importance.

I am so grateful to be a member of The Church. I know it is the true church of Christ and our Father. I am grateful for the history of the saints and the sacrifices that they made so that I could benefit from their faithfulness 150 years later when I would be able to partake of the blessings of the gospel myself.