Found On My GoPro

On our most recent trip out to Reno and then to Vancouver, I finally started to really take advantage of the photography features found within the GoPro camera. I used the burst feature just a little bit in Hawaii, but while talking to my brother-in-law, Dan, I learned about the wifi capabilities of the camera, the ease of downloading pictures straight from the camera to my phone, and that just made everything that much easier. It's unbelievable. I feel like I have an entirely new toy to play with.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite images from the Reno trip. I posted a few to my Instagram, but didn't want to overload people's feeds. On my blog, however, I have absolutely no qualms about doing it. So here goes!

Can you see why I am so in love with Lake Tahoe? It is the most blue, beautiful water I've ever seen. It touches your lips and you feel like you should be drinking it, it's just so pure. And it's not like I haven't experienced some pretty rad waters in my time.

I just thought those were some fun shots. I'm really looking forward to California and what kinds of things I'll be able to capture there.

Esteem As Of Great Worth

Some time ago I read these verses in 2 Nephi 33:

1 And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.
 2 But behold, there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught.
 3 But I, Nephi, have written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially unto my people. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry.

I started to think a lot about what kinds of things I might include in my plates of brass that I would be passing down to future generations. What are the permanent and enduring lessons that I would take the time to etch into metal plates so that they would be preserved for all of my posterity to read? Am I learning the necessary lessons that I should be gleaning that will be of great worth not only to myself, but to my posterity? What are those lessons?

When you start asking those kinds of questions, I can appreciate a lot more why Nephi and other writers in the Book of Mormon apologize and almost timidly offer up their words for our reading. Knowing the gravity of your assignment adds a lot of pressure and would make anybody at least a little worried about how those messages are being received. On one hand, it is usually easy to know of the impact that lessons learned have on your own life, but how can you be sure that the message remains impactful to the person receiving it in written form only. Thank goodness for the Spirit, right?

This blog for a long time was a vehicle of expression for me about so many things - sometimes silly things, sports, politics, religious things, thoughts on dating, a travelogue, and more politics.

Going forward I hope that this can be a place for me to express some of my own thoughts and help me to clarify and crystallize my own feelings about things. Some of it will still touch on some of those different areas, but I'd like to stay closer to those things that I esteem to be of great worth, as Nephi says.

For anyone who's still out there, stay tuned.

Three Word Answers

As I ease back into this blogging thing, let me start off with something easy. This is an FHE that Amy's sister, Lisa, does with her family and has all of her kids do. We have been meaning to do it for awhile and we finally got around to it about a month or so ago in one of our own FHE's and I think it's a pretty fun thing to do, and something worth revisiting as some time passes and answers change.

There are a few things on here that would already change in just the short time that has passed since we did this, but I'll get to that in a different post.

• What I’m proud of today: Scripture study plan
• What I’m thinking about: Ear is clogged
• Who is home: My little family
• Plans tonight: TV, shower, skype
• Feelings about love: It’s always present
• Feelings about life: I can’t complain
• What I need: Full time employment
• What I want: Start in August
• What I have: Plenty of time
• My pet peeve: Being treated indifferently
• My Guilty pleasure: Sugary carbonated drinks
• What you don’t know about me: Loved Paula Abdul
• What I can hear: AC and typing
• What I can smell: Can’t, all congested
• My Style: T-shirt and sandals
• My hairdo: Simple, no fuss
• My outfit: See “style” above
• My mood: I’m feeling lazy
• The weather today: Like starting summer
• Thoughts on family: My constant happiness
• Thoughts on marriage: Keeps me grounded
• Thoughts on beauty: All around me
• Thoughts on sleep: It’s always fleeting
• Thoughts on writing: Crystallizes my thoughts
• My favorite thing: Besides family? Activity.
• My favorite food: Still say pizza
• My favorite splurge: GoPro or vacation
• My favorite treat: Texas sheet cake
• Ten years ago: BYU senior, clueless
• Five years ago: Getting Provo bearings
• One year ago: Pregnant, nobody knows
• One year from now: Back from France
• Five years from now: Pregnant with 5th
• Ten years from now: Living happily abroad
• I’m famous for: Going to school
• I’ll never be famous for: Loving telephone charades
• Who I am: Highly educated unemployed
• Who I hope to be: Highly educated employed
• What I’m thankful for: Family, free time

One of the main reasons I want to get back to blogging is for the "Thoughts on Writing" question and answer that I have posted. Writing, for me, is such a great conduit for crystallizing my thoughts and feelings on different topics. Blogging is becoming irrelevant these days, but I love it as a form of journal writing that I can be/used to be really good at. I hope to get back to it with some more regularity.

Western Michigan!

Here's another video. We did this trip with Mike and Lauren and got to see Lake Michigan, Holland, and Grand Rapids. Holland was a bit of a letdown, but we had a fun time because our company was so great.

Trip Out to Cleveland and Kirtland

Our latest video. This was a really fun trip last summer when we got to meet up with some of our dearest friends, Andrew and Jessica Mitchell. We were all kinds of excited to share with them our news about being pregnant, but little did we know that she was also expecting herself and only weeks behind us. 

I don't love this video as much as some of my others, but it'll do. Here it is!

I'm Done

Can you believe it? I'm done with school. I finished yesterday. I graduate tomorrow. It's all done. Done. Done. Done. I'll be posting more shortly. See you soon!

May 2013 - Toronto

My Favorite Part Of This Blog?

A classmate of mine told me today he was surfing my blog. This happens on occasion. This used to happen more frequently when I was more regular about posting, but as you all can attest, that is not so much the case anymore.

Anyway, he mentioned to me that he was surfing "Inclined to Recline" and I was like, oh yeah, that is my URL, huh?

And then I realized just how much I like that title. It's clever, isn't it? I think it's probably my favorite part of this blog I decided right then.

Over the last year and a half it's evolved a good amount. First, I don't post that often, which is something that I keep saying I would like to change and become more regular again. Second, I've gone to more of a journally-type blog and distanced myself a bit from politics and current events. Not that I've lost my taste for that stuff, but I have lost the taste for making it a public debate/rant.

But yeah, Inclined to Recline. I dig it. I think I'll stick with it for a bit. Readership is down, but thanks for staying with me this far. I'll try and keep up with it.

The Adjustment

It's funny, last night Amy and I were talking about how fun it would be to only have Jane. It'd be so easy. She warms to people no problem so getting babysitters for her is no issue at all. We could go to movies frequently and do other things. She travels well as evidenced by our summer. She's just easy. One kid is easy to care for, especially if it's Jane. She's just wonderful.

We knew that adding another to the mix would make things more tricky. We knew that there would be an adjustment period of at least a few months. You just never know how these things go when you add kids to the mix.

The timing that we decided to go with also made it kind of interesting. Jane is still so young. To just about everyone, Jane really is still just a baby. Would it be smart to add on another baby given all of that? We still don't have any money, so it's not like that would be any easier.

The way we were talking last night, it almost felt like we were talking about having only Jane the way we talked about how it was being married without kids. Adding more to the mix just complicates things.

Regardless of whatever fantasizing we were engaging in, we still wouldn't have it any other way. It definitely is more tricky adding another child to the mix. Schedules are hard to line up. Just the logistics of getting out is trickier. We used to forget things all the time when it was just Jane, and now that happens just as often with Peter. Everything is just trickier.

But he's just the sweetest little guy. He's making more cute little baby noises now. He holds eye contact better and whether he is or isn't in reality, it really feels like he engages more. He's becoming more alive and I just love it.

I think the biggest payoff will start in about a year when Jane and Peter can play together. That relationship is sure to be tenuous at some times, but they will always have each other and there will be a growth in relationship building that will occur that couldn't have happened if we didn't have a second, let alone a second that is so close in age behind the first.

That's what I'm really excited for. This part right now is tricky. And I say all of this with a grain of salt because relatively, I still think Peter is pretty easy as far as babies go. Right now we are in the business of building our family and it comes with its challenges, but it's just so wonderful to have them both here with us now, even if there are other things, and good ones at that, that we have to forego for the time being.

Giving up good for something better. That's what it's about, right? And in my heart of hearts, I know that this is what's best.

Benefits of Travel

Recently a friend of mine had posted on Instagram a photo about his travels in LA and then asked the question, what is it that you like so much about traveling? I had a quick answer for him, but then I started thinking about it more and just wanted to expand it into a blogpost. My initial response to his question said something about how it becomes a growing experience for our little family as we get out and about and see different things. I've said this before on here, but I'll say it again, traveling becomes a real learning experience for all of us, even the babies. Jane has traveled to Phoenix once, Colorado once, Vegas twice, California four times, out to Michigan and back (and on five separate road trips while out there), up to Oregon, and flown to Mississippi and Seattle to then drive to Vancouver. You know what's even more amazing? She has done it all without the benefit of any kind of DVD player or video watching device. And until this last trip, we never even handed her our phones. She's become an amazing traveler and can pretty easily go 10 hours in the car with one or maybe two stops without ever really complaining. With this last trip to Colorado, Peter really did great. He barely made a peep, although at his age it might be even easier to travel. While it does come at a cost sometimes of sleep when we're all having to stay in the same room, or nap schedules get shifted, or whatever else, I think it's been invaluable for all of us to learn that we can pretty much go anywhere and do anything in spite of having kids in tow. It helps us as parents learn how to handle them better and gives them an opportunity to be more adaptive to their circumstances. (I won't discount what a huge benefit it is to have kids that are naturally pretty easy, but I won't say that they haven't also benefited from a little bit of coaching from life.) One other focus of our travels has been to see specific individuals. Last year we went and visited Greg and Laura in Mississippi. This past weekend we saw the Johnsons in Colorado. While both of those areas were interesting because they were mostly new to us, the real objective for each of those trips was to strengthen those relationships. We weren't really going for any objective other than just to spend time with those people, not to say we didn't end up doing fun things, but the point was spending time with them. Nothing beats having that individual time one on one with people, even being with them in the natural rhythm of their day to day lives, all of that just gives you such a better picture into their lives and helps you become better acquainted with one another. The last benefit of traveling that I'll mention is probably the most obvious one - it just does so much to get exposure to different things. I love so much that I have a wife that is so willing to endure the rigor of travel and the discomfort of being away from home in order to see and experience new places. Being in Michigan last summer was such an eye opening experience for us in so many ways. Traveling across the country and back, then all the way out and up to the Oregon coast, then down to California gave us such wonderful experiences to all share together. I don't know. I just love traveling. I can't wait to see the other new places we'll explore.

Road Trip Out To Michigan

Video of our road trip out to Michigan. This was the most daunting video project from last summer. I started with over 200 video clips and boiled them down to these 60 or so. This was a fun project though. The others should be easier from here on out.

Peter Christopher Silva

Towards the end of Amy's pregnancy whenever she would flinch or something kind of pop up, I would ask her, jokingly, "are you gonna have a baby?"

Once we got within 3 or so weeks, I began making the same joke, but in more earnestness. Cut to Monday night, January 13th. We had just participated in an FHE with a couple of other families in the MBA program. We had a nice evening and then just went home.

We were just kind of sitting around, casually talking back and forth while she sat at the computer desk, and I took a call from my best friend, Dave. Amy stood up when she noticed some amount of water that come out. I don't know of a better way to say that. I was still on the phone with Dave, joking with him about having him there for the actual experience of our baby, when as more time passed, it became more and more apparent that our baby was actually coming.

By that time it was almost 11:30 at night and we were assembling everything for our hospital trip. Although Peter's induction date was only a week and a half away, and his actual due date 2 weeks away, it still caught us off guard. We hadn't packed bags or prepared anything for the actual hospital trip. Still though, with our first trip to deliver a baby at the hospital, we already had some sense for how this would go for Amy, so instead of rushing to get out, she and I both took showers, I made her some toast, and we got Jane ready to drop her off at our friends, the Paxsons.

 We are so lucky to have the Paxsons. They were ready for our midnight call and were glad to take Jane in for the evening. Besides being so obviously accommodating, they also happened to live just right down the street from the hospital. Although Jane was now completely awake and not quite ready for us to leave, we knew she was in good hands and that she would do pretty well in spite of the jarring wake up call and displacement. (They also verified later that in spite of staying up for another hour or two, she handled everything pretty well.)

 We arrived at the hospital some time around 12:30am. Amy doesn't really have regular contractions (at least initially) so it is kind of hard for her to tell when those are coming on so getting on pitocin quickly is standard for her. She also had to run through a course of antibiotics for some strep strain she had tested positive for, so it would be a few hours before things would get going. This time, however, it didn't seem like it would take as long this time as it did last time (17 hours).

 You know what's funny? I had a lot of late nights last semester between working on school assignments and my thesis, but staying up late into the night this time around was really hard on me. I was just so tired. She got her epidural probably some time around 3 or 4am and fortunately that provided no additional complications.

From that point it was just waiting for the baby to come. It was around 6:30 or when Amy alerted the nurse that she was feeling a lot of pressure from the baby, to which the nurse replied something like, well, it looks like that baby is about ready to come. She notified Dr. Lamoreaux and the rest of the staff and then we had a baby.

 It almost feels unfair to describe Peter's birth story because it was just so easy. Amy's water broke, we dropped Jane off, and then basically took naps until she was ready to push him out. Once the pushing began it must have been like three pushes and then we had our new son, Peter Christopher Silva. At one point the doctor even told her to stop pushing because he was already starting to exit on his own.

 There is nothing like it, nothing like watching your newborn child enter into the world. This time, at least, I didn't get much more emotional beyond just a surge of adrenaline and excitement at seeing him. Like Jane, he cried a little once he came out, but he was otherwise very calm. Jane was very pale because she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, but Peter had some good color right away. It also helped his delivery that he was smaller than Jane, 7lbs 2oz, 19" long (as compared to 8lb 2oz, 20" for Jane). Peter was born at 6:51am on January 14th, 2014.

After each delivery Amy was exhausted, but the first time it was more from the delivery process. This time it was mostly just a lack of sleep. See? It's just unfair. We complain that her deliveries come in the night instead of the daytime rather than having any kind of real harrowing experiences.

This experience has been so different for us, mostly because we have done this before. With your first child everything is a little daunting - you've never had to be responsible for a child, never had to be the sole provider for all of the basic needs of a little baby, but once you have that first, you're armed with experience and it just makes everything so much easier. Another thing too is that some people will talk about their bursting love and expanded capacity for love once they meet their little baby. Amy and I don't have that. I love Jane way more than I love Peter right now, but that's because the way I (and I think I can see "we" here too) bond is through time and by meeting that baby's needs. I know I'll love him the same as I do Jane, but that's going to take some time and experiencing life together, which I'm so excited to do. (Plus, Jane is just awesome. I may never love any of my children more than her, let's be honest.)

One thing I also wanted to mention was the timing of this thing. Peter's due date was January 27th. His induction was scheduled for a Friday, January 24th. This whole time we had been saying that it would have been so nice for him to have been due just a week earlier to take advantage of a break that I have within the program from January 15th-20th. It seemed like a stretch, but it just so happened that in one of our prayers a couple night's before he was born I asked that he come a little earlier, and if possible, that Tuesday the 14th or Wednesday the 15th. When I told one of my friend's in the program about this he pointed out, "good thing that you asked." That made me think of this part from the entry on prayer in the Bible Dictionary found in our scriptures: The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. I don't know exactly if I sped up the timeline when I mentioned that in my prayer, but I am going to assume that I did. He really hears us and I'm so grateful that this worked out the way that it did.

Children are an heritage of the Lord. That is the phrase that keeps on going through my head these last couple weeks since we had Peter. My kids are my greatest blessings besides my dear wife. I can't describe how blessed we are to have them, to have our own little family. And also that Amy's experience with pregnancy and labor is so mild compared to most people's experiences. Honestly, it makes me feel that because of that great blessing, it is now incumbent upon us to have all the children that we can. There is no real reason not to. We feel that we are in a position to take care of these kids, Jane and now Peter are relatively easy to handle, and her body can bear her pregnancies, so we need to take full advantage of those blessings. Where so many people cannot for whatever reason, we can so it's on us to do it. Hopefully that makes sense.

Anyway, I love my little family. It's a wonderful life.

Strung Out Live at the HOB Anaheim

So in case you were wondering, this is what a punk show looks like. This music is not for the faint of heart. Also, it has some language.

It's totally ridiculous that I still love going to these shows, but I just do. And it's equally silly that I actually have a group of friends that all like doing this too. At one point, before the show started, we actually counted how many kids we had between all of us and had a laugh about how much has changed over the years since we started going to these shows. (The answer is 13...with two on the way. Crazy, right?)

2013: Year in Review

Man, I have really fallen off, haven't I?

The thing is, blogs are by far my favorite form of social media. You can communicate so much more. Post more pictures. I feel like you get a much better sense for people and I'm a weirdo in that I will actually read everything and look at everything that people post, of the ones that I like anyway. You guys probably know who you are. So here's to hoping that I get back on the train in 2014 with blogging.

So what was this last year like for us?

Pretty amazing. We had an amazing experience over the summer getting to spend it out in Michigan and seeing so much of the country. We got to visit friends in Mississippi and head down to New Orleans. I had my first taste of spring training and we saw Mike down in Arizona. I actually finished my Masters thesis and completed that degree (post forthcoming), and I am 3/4s of the way done with the MBA program.

I didn't run a marathon this year for the first time since 2007...really? Wow. But I may run one next year (this year?) depending on where we end. In fact, I kind of fell off with running for awhile there. Granted, I wasn't running several times a week, but for about the whole summer, I didn't have any regular running schedule. I definitely missed that a lot. I did run one half, trained for another and ended up not running it. Now I'm running again and hoping to run a half in April. Maybe March. We'll see.

I also got my lowest GPA this past semester. I really fell off the end there with trying to get my thesis ready to be defended (success!). And you know what? I couldn't care less. Last semester ended up being a lot more harrowing than I thought it would be. I didn't really care for any of my classes and I was probably overloaded (18.0 credit hours, eesh), but still managed to get through it all.

We got pregnant and are now only a couple of weeks away from meeting our little guy. Jane is amazing. I mean, really, truly, just so amazing. She brings us more joy than I could have ever imagined. I can honestly say that being a parent is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, behind marrying my wife and joining the church. It's endless how much delight Jane brings to my life. I say it every day and absolutely mean it. It's incredible. Now I'm almost nervous if Jane set the bar too high for Peter (yup). We'll see, I guess.

Still not any more clarity with the job hunt, but things are moving and I imagine will pick up again as normal work weeks start again next week.

Can you believe how much your life can change in such a short time period? Unreal.

Grateful160

About a month ago I signed up for a service called Grateful160. It's a daily reminder sent to your email or as a text message that just asks you what you are grateful for. Then, each week it sends you a review of those things.

It only takes a few seconds each day to do it and it's fun to look back on. You can sign up by clicking on this link. Here is my compilation from the last few weeks.

Saturday (10/26)

10:59 PM
I'm grateful for college football and a wife who loves going to the games with me. It's really fun to have a night out with our little family on a nice fall evening and that BYU football is really getting it together.

Tuesday (10/29)

11:50 AM
I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood. I got a blessing Sunday night and it was so great to be reminded again to have a bigger perspective than just my next interview and job opportunity.


I'm also so grateful for fantasy sports and friends that are fun to draft and play those games with. Just love it.


Wednesday (10/30)

09:24 AM
I am really grateful that I got the interview with Chevron, and even just knowing that it was a more selective process up front. I thought it was open to the whole world, so I didn't think anything of it when I was selected to be among the interviewees. I like that my odds are better, but it makes me feel better overall about the amount of interest that I am able to garner from employers in this process. It helps me to feel more optimistic about my chances of finding something going forward. And I think the interview went well, regardless if I get the job or not. I appreciated how straightforward their process is.

Thursday (10/31)

11:49 AM
I am so grateful for Jane. She had a really rough night last night and so she had a terrible time sleeping, but it was so sweet the way she would calm down so quickly when I picked her up and the way she fell asleep with me on the couch. It's amazing to me the amount of happiness she brings into my life. There are very few people or things that I do that make me feel so full with love and gratitude as Jane does for me.

Last Friday (11/01)

01:10 PM
I am really grateful for Halloween. It is such a fun holiday and I love how kids and adults can both get excited about it, dress up and be silly together. We went to a ward activity yesterday and it was fun to get good reactions from ward people and see people in a different context.


I also wanted to say how grateful I am for Jane. She is just the sweetest little girl. I think I said this yesterday, but I'm just always feeling it with her.

Saturday (11/02)

11:24 AM
I am grateful for a wife who loves to go bowling. And she did awesome by the way, 27 weeks pregnant and all. She's the love of my life. I have so much fun with her.

Sunday (11/03)

12:46 PM
I'm grateful to be doing work that is at least mostly engaging. I'm at a point with my thesis where I can really start pushing through it and get it done, and I think it'll be a really interesting exercise. I'm excited to see what comes of it, and to have it out of the way. While I may not love all of my classes or what I'm doing, there are at least bits and pieces here and there that I really am so interested in and I hope that I can continue that kind of work going forward.

Monday (11/04)

11:11 AM
I'm really grateful for good friends. Yesterday we had the Morris family come over for dinner and they've become some really good friends of ours. They are just so down to earth and easy to talk to. I really appreciate their friendship and it's so nice to be able to relate with them because of how close Mariah and Jane are in age.

Tuesday (11/05)

12:59 PM
I am grateful for Jane. She is just so sweet. It's always a highlight in my day to come home and see her and see her put her arms up for me. I love how much she wants to hang out with me when I'm around and play with me and do things together. I didn't really know before what was so great about having a little girl, but now I get it. I hope we have more and I couldn't love that little girl more than I do. She lights up my life.

Wednesday (11/06)

08:38 AM
I am so grateful that I have a best friend. I got to talk to Dave last night and it was just nice to hear about his time in Hawaii and what that vacation is like. It's so nice to have someone that you can be so connected to at such a deep level.

Thursday (11/07)

08:33 AM
I am so grateful to be friends with Marshall and Yetta. They are such great people. I got the opportunity yesterday to help Marshall move some cabinets and sometimes I forget just how fun it is to talk to Marshall. He's very thoughtful and asks interesting questions. He's just a really great guy and I'm glad to know him.


I'm also grateful for the times when I go to check in on Jane at night and she hears me and gets up for me to pick her up. I don't know how long she's been doing it, but when she's ready to sleep she cuddle right in and tuck her arms and hands in between her legs as she leans on your shoulder. I just love it. I love how cuddly she is, but it's not ever in a needy way. She just likes to cuddle. She's the sweetest little thing.

Last Friday (11/08)

03:03 PM
I'm grateful to finally feel like this thesis is going to wrap up. I finished up (I think, at least) my data analysis and nothing really came of the findings, but I'm just glad that I see some light at the end of this. I feel like it's going to finish up, and may be a little last minute, but I'm just excited for it to wrap up and be done. The experience will be valuable and I do appreciate that, but I'm excited to just be able to move on to something else different. I'll be glad to get this albatross off my neck.

Saturday (11/09)

09:25 AM
I'm really grateful for my MBA program because of the great people I get to associate with. I love being around these people and hearing about the neat things that they're involved in. It's inspiring to hear what they're doing and makes me want to be a better person and do more with my life as well. I just love it.

Sunday (11/10)

09:49 AM
Even when the day turns out all wrong, my wife is still so great to be around. Nothing worked out for us yesterday. Our babysitter fell through, we couldn't get anything done at our house, and the construction guys were in our kitchen all day long, but we came home, played games, and everything was fine. I was a little sour, but it helps so much when your partner is just so willing to make the best of any situation. I love my wife and I am so grateful for her.

Monday (11/11)

09:06 AM
I am grateful to have such an inspired bishop. Yesterday I gave a talk on the power of invitations, and the speaker who followed after me seemed to be the perfect person to give his talk, and then bishop gave his. I was just so impressed with the whole meeting and it was very apparent how inspired he was to choose the speakers that he did. Bishop Nelson himself is such a capable person and I am constantly impressed by his insight and his clarity in delivering his messages. I'm grateful that he is my leader because he is so easy to follow.

Tuesday (11/12)

08:56 AM
I'm grateful for the example of my wife. She's so diligent with everything she does. She just seems to have a constant motor with getting things done and it makes me want to be a better husband to her as a result.

Wednesday (11/13)

09:25 AM
I am so grateful for a healthy body and for exercise. I can't believe how much I love running, how good it makes me feel, and just what a release it is for me. I went out yesterday for the first time since my half marathon and it was such a nice feeling being out there and running. I only went for three, but it just felt wonderful.

Thursday (11/14)

09:23 AM
I'm grateful for naps. Sometimes you just really need one and I love that I have a wife that can be sensitive to that and let me catch some quick zzz's while Jane is hovering around me.

Last Friday (11/15)

12:24 PM
I am really grateful for the opportunities that are available through the MBA program. I know that I haven't been able to fully appreciate and reap the benefits yet since I'm still looking for a full time job following graduation, but I know that there are great things still out there and I feel really fortunate for what will be coming our way because I know it'll be great.

Saturday (11/16)

10:07 AM
I'm grateful for the work that I am doing. I got to go to a plant and while the actual work I was doing, it is neat to think about the different ways that I can be involved in helping to improve the things around me. It makes me realize how much I can contribute to the world if I am just willing to make some effort to do so. I got some good feedback from Dr. Brown today about my thesis and I'm excited to be wrapping that up in the next few weeks, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to launch into some new projects that will be interesting to me. It's a great time in my life.

Sunday (11/17)

09:34 AM
I am grateful for my sweet wife. She is so accommodating when it comes to letting me get what I need to do for school and makes sure that she takes care of everything that she needs to so that I don't have to have any concerns about our home life. She takes care of all of my needs and that of the family's. She's just wonderful.

Monday (11/18)

10:13 AM
I am grateful for the ward that we are in. Every so often I start to think that maybe there is something that I don't like about this or that in the ward, but then there occurs something in church that changes my thinking and  helps me to see something new. I'm really grateful to be here.


Also, I'm so grateful for the blessings that become available because of obeying the commandment to pay tithing. I recently read Elder Bednar's talk from last conference. He touches on some points that I think we are directly experiencing, but I realized in the last few days that I have been wanting less much more these days, and that is such a huge blessing when times are tight. A lot of times that is a struggle for me - wanting more - and so I become a bigger consumer, but this last year or so has changed me and that has been tremendous for being much more content with everything that I have in my l ife. It's a tremendous blessing.

Tuesday (11/19)

08:34 AM
I am thankful to get a good night's rest. I got two hours the previous night because I was up late working on my thesis. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel though as I'l' be sending out a draft this evening and scheduling my defense for two weeks from today. I'm also so grateful for Dr. Brown. I love how positive he is and always so encouraging, even if he can sometimes be a little unrealistic sometimes.


Wednesday (11/20)

09:23 AM
I am so grateful for productivity. I love the feeling of being engaged in your work and learning new things and the struggle that comes from trying to learn, then learning it, and then really making it work. I love that. I had a good evening last night between sending off my thesis to my committee, and then writing up a case for my Quality class - one that I don't feel comfortable in, but worked at nonetheless. It's great. I just love it.

Thursday (11/21)

09:14 AM
I am grateful to just have a nice quiet evening with my wife at home. I love coming home to see Jane and she gets all excited and walks up to me and holds her arms out. I love just catching up on our shows with Amy. It's fun to laugh and just veg with her. She's so easy to be around and I love our lives together.

Today (11/22)

08:17 AM
I am so grateful for Jane. It makes me feel so awesome how much she loves me. If I am at all in the house she comes to me, holds her arms out, waits for me to pick her up, or takes my fingers and walks around the house with me. I ended up holding her for nearly 40 minutes when I went in her room last night and accidentally woke her up. I just love her so much and she makes me feel so good.

Saturday (11/23)

12:38 AM
I know I say this all of the time, but I am so grateful for Jane. She lights up my life. I was telling Amy the other day about how much I want to write about what a dream Jane is because I feel like we end every day of her whole life up to this point talking about how much we love Jane, about how easy she is to take care of, how sweet she is, and just what a happy and wonderful little baby we have. Not a day goes by that I don't think often about how much joy she brings into my life. I love her more than anything.

Sunday (11/24)

12:40 AM
I am so grateful for a healthy body. I have been busy lately so I have been cutting out exercise as a result, so when the workouts do come I end up feeling so good afterward and think repeatedly to myself about how much I love being active and taking care of my body. I am so grateful to be able to move and do different things. I am so grateful for what a stress reliever that is for me and how much it improves my mood.

Monday (11/25)

10:23 AM
I am so grateful for Scott and Elisha. We haven't seen them nearly enough since we've been back from the summer, but every time we do see them, I come away thinking how grateful I am for Amy's family as whole, but especially for Scott and Elisha. I just admire them so much as people and as parents. They exemplify so much then kind of parent that I'd like to be and I'm just always so impressed with the way they handle themselves and the kind of philosophy that they adopt for how they live their lives. They're just so great and I see so much in them that I'd like to emulate in my own life.

Tuesday (11/26)

09:09 AM
I am so grateful for Thanksgiving week as it relates to school. Things are wrapping up really nicely and I love where this holiday falls in the semester and how it proceeds Christmas by so little. It's a good thing to be reminded of the things that you're grateful for.

Wednesday (11/27)

09:47 AM
I am so grateful for the home teaching program in the church. I was just encouraging my families to read their scriptures regularly, &nbsp_place_holder;to rededicate themselves, and it really surprised me how much they all needed that prodding. And these are very active people. It just made me realize how much everyone needs that reminding. And I also felt how important it is to be sitting on both sides of the home teaching conversation. 

International You Day

One of my favorite punk bands growing up was No Use For a Name. They were a part of the Fat Wreck Chords music label, which is a pretty close knit community. The front man, Tony Sly, was known within their circles as being one of the better songwriters and just about everyone's favorite song is International You Day, a song that he wrote for his wife.

Last July Tony died in his sleep, next to his wife. He also has two daughters. The outpouring of grief was touching and recently the Fat Wreck Chords community assembled to put together a tribute album of his band's songs. I bought it and I kind of love it.

I mean, I still prefer most of the originals, but it's cool to hear your favorite band cover a song from another band you love, or to hear what Bad Religion does with one of their songs. It's all pretty neat.

What really touched me, and very unexpectedly so, was that they included a version that Tony had done of International You Day. It's toned down from the original and very sentimental. But what really got me was the last few lines of the song. Following are the lyrics of the last verse:

I'm coming home today
to wipe the tears right from your eyes
I'm totally enamored by your life
nothing that I've done
has ever been for one

But without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that I have so much more to tell you
every single day

My life is incomplete
my rights are absolutely gone
so wake me up
before you leave today
something I need to say
cause they'll be nothing when you're gone.


Take a listen for yourself. I'm pretty sure that the cheering at the end is dubbed in, but it's just how I'd expected a bunch of hardened 40 year old punk rockers to pay tribute to their lost friend. It really kind of got to me this morning. I just loved it.

Jane, My Heart

Jane is so fun lately.

She's walking all the time now, except for when I chase after her and she walks until she falls down and then crawls away as quickly as she can to mom.

She's very naturally playful. I love it. One of her things lately is when I start putting on shoes to head out, she'll come over and grab one of my shoes and run away from me. It's so fun.

While she can walk just fine on her own, she still loves having me walk around with her holding her hands. Part of it is so that she can go faster, but I think it's mostly so she can keep me playing with her as long as she can.

She's always cuddly in the mornings. And even at night. I can usually get her to settle into the crook of my arm on the couch and watch TV with me.

She still loves Fantastic Mr. Fox. She fetches it out of the DVD collection and as soon as it is on she is in a total trance. She'll pause in whatever position she is in and lock in for a solid 20 minutes or so. It's crazy, because she doesn't have that response to anything else. She'll watch anything for a little while, but she never locks in like that.

Jane is very naturally obedient. It's so nice because you can tell her yes or no to things and she's really good at following with most things. Even with things like wiping her nose when its runny, which she hates, you can usually reason with her pretty easily and she will turn over and let you wipe it.

She doesn't do any performing though. And she isn't very verbal at all. I'm excited for her to start using her little voice.

She's a one nap baby, taking one killer 2-3 hour in the afternoon. And she's a dream when it comes to sleeping. She goes down easy and wakes up at 7:30 or so.

I just hope that Peter doesn't rock her world too much, but I can't imagine that it will. She's got such a sweet and mild temperament.

The Hardest Part

This job search thing has been a very humbling experience, although I actually had a harder time with it last year. It might have been because I was hearing a lot more no's, but I think having the experience under my belt from last year, I know things work out, and I think I don't have the same expectations that I did a year ago.

I read an article this morning about how being forced to wait has very positive effects: do better at school, get better jobs, more rewarding and stable social relationships, among others.

I had a flyback with Citi a couple of weeks ago and I finally got some real feedback from one of the people who interviewed me. From what I understood, I think I didn't get the job because of the very last line on my resume that says "passion for the tech industry..." which gave them some questions about my long term commitment to the company. It was a stupid oversight that I'm sure I will never make again.

It's an interesting process, but I can attest to the fact that it has really made me think a lot more about where I'd like to be, what skill-sets I'd like to develop, and the ways in which I'd like to make my mark. I''m reaching out in ways to people that I'm sure I wouldn't have before because I've been forced to think about how I can market myself and the long-term contributions I'd like to be able to make. I am reading more articles about analytics and thinking about ways I can further refine that skill-set. I reached out to an old bishop here at BYU to ask him about program evaluation and how I can become more competent in that area. It's forced me to open up more and I can already see the value in being made to wait.

The experience has been trying, for sure, but at the same time I think it has forced me to be more serious and I think that delayed gratification has been important for me.

Game Changer

It's weird how something major in your life can happen, and while you're waiting for it to happen you can know so little about it and wonder so much, but then soon after it happens, it feels like it's always been that way the whole time. It felt that way with going into the mission field, coming back from serving a mission, getting married, and most recently with having Jane.

I remember wondering so much about what it would be like to have a kid - to not be able to go to movies freely anymore, or to doing a round of 9 with Amy for FHE, or any of the other things that are easy to do when you don't have kids. (Incidentally, shouldn't there be a word for married people without children? MWOC? Maybe I'll just use that.)

Every so often Amy and I will get out on a date night and all of sudden it comes back how easy it is to be MWOC. You get in and out of a car without having to pick anything else up. You walk into a restaurant and don't have to pick up a high chair. Heck, you walk in and don't even have to worry about what it is that your kid is going to eat for a meal. You can walk into a movie theater and hold hands and it makes sense and doesn't feel forced. That's how it feels, by the way, when you try and hold hands with your spouse and you're also carrying a baby, or pushing a stroller, or holding onto whatever else. It just doesn't make sense to do that, let alone to do the whole door opening thing at the car.

It's so refreshing and nice to have those date nights because it is so easy to just focus on the one that you're with. It becomes such an important thing to do.

And it's during these times that makes me realize how much purpose having Jane brings into my life. I don't just live for myself. Things start to change somewhat when you get married because you can see the impact with immediacy of what your actions and decisions do to the other person, but with a child, it becomes so much bigger. Amy can take care of herself at the restaurant, but Jane doesn't eat if I/we don't think of her. Jane doesn't survive from today through tomorrow if her needs aren't one of the first things that I think of in the day.

That's how it felt a few weeks ago when Amy and I went out. It's not that you can't have meaning when you don't have kids, but having your own family thrusts meaning full force to the very front and center of everything that you do. It is easily one of the most challenging things that I've ever confronted, not because the task of changing diapers, getting food, or anything else you do with babies is difficult, but because it is so constant. And then those needs grow in importance over time.

The nice thing is how rewarding it is. Jane is such a vibrant source of happiness for me. I wonder all the time what it is that filled up my life before this and I really don't know. I guess I just never had any idea then.

I'm a Rambling Man

Really we're a rambling family. I think I already mentioned how much we drove this past summer somewhere on here, but I had a flight to New York a couple weeks ago for a flyback with Citi (don't worry, I didn't get it) and that meant that I ended up touching down in my 20 state THIS YEAR. Since January. Isn't that crazy? Highlighted in red is every state that we spent at least some amount of time in since January.

It's been an amazing year for us as a family. It's so crazy to me when I lay it all out like that on a map.