Thursday, February 2, 2012

Like a Good Neighbor?

Several months ago I posted about how we had gone on a couples date with some people that lived right below us. At the time, I was sure that we would become really good friends, play games with each other all the time, and someday go on vacations together.

Things started out well enough. We're close in age to each other, so we seemed to relate on that point. We both got married a little bit later, but were also recent newlyweds. We conversed pretty easily with each other. We even had some common friends between us. We invited them for dinner and we played Farkle. Then they invited us over and we played bocci. They brought us some treats one time. They filled in for our primary class while we were in Europe. And then that was about it.

We would see them in church, but they never went out of their way to say hi to us or engage us in conversation. Ever. Even when we would pass them in the parking lot behind our place, they never said anything more than just a cursory "hi." And I don't know about Amy, but I did always try to engage them in conversation. I asked them about their Thanksgiving and how it was in California. When I heard they were going to have a baby, I congratulated them and asked them about the due date and how she was feeling. Amy made white chocolate popcorn and we went downstairs to drop it off for them and wish them a merry Christmas.

And then all of a sudden about a month ago we heard that they had bought a place and they were moving. The weird part is that before we found that out, through a girl who did Amy's hair, I had just stopped them in the parking lot to tell them that we needed to get together again soon and do dinner and games or something.

I don't know. I guess I felt like I needed to write about it just because I had been making comments to Amy ever couple of days or so about how weird I thought it was that they never once mentioned they were going to move, or even said goodbye, or a bunch of other things that I thought were off. I know she's probably tired of hearing about it from me, but I definitely feel spurned.

I like to think of myself as a person who will make a pretty good effort to maintain contact, to let people - especially ones that I consider friends - know that I am interested in their lives. (Even if I sometimes forget to acknowledge your birthday.) And it's weird to me that I felt like I made a pretty good effort at that, and then received nothing in return.I just would think that when you've invited someone in your home to sup together, when you've had at least a few meaningful interactions together that you'd do something as simple as say "bye," or just do something to acknowledge that you were more than just strangers to each other. That's not weird for me to feel that way, right?

I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that person who is completely detached from the people that are around me, from people that I have consistent interaction with.

I guess this whole experience just really reinforces that for me.

1 comment:

Marietta said...

HOnetsly, I am so glad you feel this way. Friendships are really important to me, and while I am not always the best at staying connected... I don't forget about close friends I have had. I want to invite close friends from elementary school to my wedding luncheon that I didn't even get an invite to their wedding. I just think a good friend, good conversation is hard to forget. Sometimes I feel weird when I feel close to people that don't seem to have any idea.