Be Still, My Soul

Church hymns have a way of bringing the spirit like nothing else does. Following a breakup a few years ago, I felt heartache to an extent that I did not even know was possible. Although it was a harrowing experience, I am grateful for it. I kind of think everyone should know that kind of pain at some point in their lives. The nights felt the worst because I would say prayers and lie awake thinking about all the things that had not worked as I had hoped they would. To combat the feelings of sadness, longing, and loneliness that I felt, I'd sing a few hymns to myself to help ease the pain - Abide With Me, 'Tis Eventide, Abide With Me, and Be Still, My Soul.

When I'd read the words and sing them to myself, those feelings never went away entirely, but I felt like they were manageable. It was like before going over the hymns I thought I was going to die because I couldn't bear living with the pain in my heart, but those words and their tune helped me to feel that if my heart continued to ache so, then I could learn how to live without it.

Today in church we sang Abide With Me, 'Tis Eventide and Be Still, My Soul and the memories of singing by the soft yellow light next to my bed during those melancholy nights returned after having rested in the storage containers of my mind for the last several years. They did not arrive with the same sense of destitution from what would not come to pass, but with the feeling of accompaniment that I could find in the Lord in spite of my pain.

Abide With Me

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see—
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour;
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

Even when the trials are not removed completely from our lives, it is such a comfort to know that he abides with us still. He is the help of the helpless.