“God, how we get our fingers in each other's clay. That's friendship, each playing the potter to see what shapes we can make of each other.”
-Ray Bradbury
It wasn't really much of a fortune, but I think it was the wisest thing a cookie ever told me. It's always the thing that I have the hardest time doing. Once I'm in the activity/work-out/writing process/work/whatever, I never really seem to have much difficulty keeping it up, but it's always the getting started that's so hard for me.
Take yesterday, for example. I had 8 miles to run, but time was fast running out on the day, and I really just didn't feel like doing it. With much debate and prodding from my better half, I decide to get out the door and do 6 miles, but once I got started it was easy to just continue and get up to 7.5. That stuff really isn't hard for me once I'm out the door, but that's always the problem, getting there.
Anyway, I'm officially getting started on my marathon training because I finally registered for the Deseret News Marathon on July 25th. I'm excited about this one. I'll be done earlier in the season, and I'm actually looking forward to moving onto some other kind of work-outs later in the summer, especially since we will probably be gone for 4 weekends between August and September and long runs just won't be very realistic.
One thing that I think I'd like to try out is Crossfit. If you have any friends involved with Crossfit and you are FB friends with them, then you also realize that it's almost a cult. I have two friends who do it and I'm pretty sure it's the only thing they do. They post Crossfit pics of themselves as their profile pics, and post their times/lifts whatever, and all they do is work-out. They have affiliates all over the place, but I was looking at their website today and it's pretty cool because they have scaled down versions of the work-outs that you can do on your own, and it actually looks kind of enjoyable. What's really appealing about it also is that they emphasize overall fitness so that you're not limited to one specific kind of strength, if that makes sense. Check it out here.
You know what else? I think I might volunteer to help with the Utah Valley Marathon.
This is the second half marathon that I have run. It's kind of funny that I jumped straight from casually running straight to the full marathon. The first half that I ran was Provo City April of 2009. From that year on, they started scheduling it in May so that they would have better weather because it ended up snowing that Saturday that we ran...
Flashforward to two nights ago and it happened to snow that night as well. The night before I would run my second half. Lame.
This one was kind of funny because I haven't been on too consistent of a running schedule lately. I was really good just before the wedding, and then I took three weeks off, and then I came back on for a few weeks, did a 10 mile run about two weeks ago, but then only ran twice two weeks ago, and then twice this past week. But having run the 10 made me feel fine about running this one, and plus I knew that this would kind of jump-start my marathon training for this summer.
Thursday I went for a nice 5-mile run at about 10pm. It was just a little windy, but the temperatures were nice. Felt great. Not even two days later the temperature had dropped 30 degrees and when I woke up at 5:30am to get ready for the race there was a 2-3" snow covering on the ground. Awesome. I was pretty whiny about everything up until about 15 minutes or so before the race. Kira ran this one too, so it was fun to see her there. Her dad also happens to work at Thanksgiving Point so it was fun to see him in various places during the morning.
I had on my running tights, shorts on top, long sleeve shirt, t-shirt on top, and then a jacket that I sometimes run in on top. I also had gloves and a headband. Gear-wise, I'm doing pretty well these days. I have just about everything I'll ever need to run in any kind of weather (although I'm kind of starting to think that I'd like some trail running shoes, but that's for another day). The cold was pretty miserable in the beginning. It just felt like it seeped right through my clothing. They had no heaters. Just cold that morning. But I knew that once I got going temperature wouldn't be a big deal.
The race started, and sure enough, by about 1.5 miles in, I had already taken off my jacket. Lucky for me, my sweet little wifey had already gotten to another part of the route and I was able to strip it off and leave it with her. Eventually I took off my headband, stuffed that into my pocket, and then took off my gloves and held those the whole time too.
The race was fine. It was well-organized, had plenty of aid stations with the right stuff, and good post-race treats. I just didn't like that it was so early, and that it doubled back over so many parts of the race. I really just hate seeing other runners that are ahead of me doubling back over parts that I know that I'm going to be running in just a little bit. I ended up doing well enough, finishing in about 1:48. Kira raced well too, considering that she's PREGNANT! Crazy, right? But that's Kira. She's tough as nails.
Anyway, although I was a big baby before the race started, whining so much about the cold, I was glad that I participated once it was over. And even more, I'm just so glad that I married a girl who loves me enough to get up with me at 5:30am on a Saturday in 30 degree weather just to come and cheer me on and take some pictures.
Was chatting this morning with a friend about The Wedding. Not mine, mind you. Kate and William. Kind of silly isn't it? How much attention it's getting. People are just crazy about it. I don't really care for it. At first I thought it was dumb, and then I read this article over at NRO about it, and now it doesn't seem so bad. It's a good thing they're getting married, right? And so if all the histrionics associated with the royal wedding do nothing more than highlight the institution of marriage itself, then it's a good thing, isn't it? Allow me to quote a little from the article:
You needn’t be a royal watcher to join wholeheartedly in the rejoicing at a wedding. And we should celebrate — not because the principals are royalty, but because marriage itself badly needs reinforcing. For the past several decades, we’ve been conducting an experiment to determine whether marriage really matters all that much to society. The results are in. But the news hasn’t yet been taken on board.
People like Kate and William (absent the title) — college-educated, upper-middle-class strivers — are not the ones who need reminding about the importance of marriage. Among the upper-middle class, marriage continues to be the norm. Among the lower-middle class though, marriage rates have collapsed.
This has created a cultural gulf between classes in America that affects every aspect of life, and arguably threatens the cohesion of America itself. This territory has been explored by Kay Hymowitz in her 2006 book, Marriage and Caste in America, as well as by scholars such as Sara McLanahan, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, and David Popenoe, among others. Charles Murray’s forthcoming book, Coming Apart at the Seams, which he previewed in a recent lecture at the American Enterprise Institute, examines marriage as one of four key virtues that conduce to a healthy polity (the others are industriousness, piety, and honesty).
Echoing George Gilder, Murray notes that marriage is crucial because it “civilizes men.” Married men don’t just earn more and have significantly lower rates of criminality, substance abuse, depression, and poor health than single men. They also contribute more social capital to society. Married men are far more likely to coach little league, volunteer at church, and shovel their elderly neighbor’s walk. Married people, far more than singles (there are exceptions of course), take responsibility not just for themselves and their children, but for the community.
Everyone's first question when they see us these days is, "how's married life?" Now that we're past our first month, the Chris and Amy Marriage tour is over with, and we're more or less settled into our place, there's not a whole to say to most people.
Marriage is great. Great great great. My wife is as sweet as can be. We have lots of down time now, which is actually kind of weird. Even before we got engaged it always felt like our weeks were packed, and we always had plans, but these days it seems like we have a lot of evenings where we're just kind of hanging out.
Being married has alerted me to a few things:
After several years of not having a room-roommate, I'm being reminded that I'm a pretty active sleeper. Dave has lots of stories about things I would say and do in my sleep. Last night before going to bed, Amy asked me, "so do you remember at all sitting straight up in middle of the night and saying, 'do I need to make some hot chocolate??? It is freezing in here!'" That is pretty much par for the course for me. I guess I used to laugh in my sleep a lot. I'm sure there will be lots more of those kind of stories.
Marriage has an interesting way of really forcing you outside of yourself. When you're single, and even when you're dating, it's easy to just do your own thing. Now that I'm married, if Amy starts making dinner or doing our laundry - and I realize that she's flitting about doing stuff for us while I'm just watching ESPN or dinking around on the internet for me - then I feel dumb. I still have a ways to go in this department, but I just hope she's not feeling like she's alone.
It's really fun trying to establish our marriage/family habits. It's nice to read scriptures, pray, have family home evening, and go to the temple together. As we're getting better at carrying these things out, it really does help me to feel closer to Amy. It's funny that at the same time, even though I recognize all of the benefits, sometimes it still feels like a chore. I've got such a stubborn natural man.
That's all I've got. We hit our one month mark just over a week ago, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed we'll make it to two, but I think we're on our way.
Hi, blogging. I haven't see you for a little while....here we go. Let's do a week in review:
I went to see Unwritten Law in concert last weekend when my sweet wife gave me the concert tickets as a present. You would think that I would outgrow these punk shows at some point, but I still just love them. The one thing, however, that I will never really like is how much amplification there is with the music. It should be loud enough to hear it, but not so much that it destroys your hearing, right? I was reading Jay Nordlinger this morning and he was ranting about that, and that guy reviews classical music. What would he think at a rock concert? Anyway, they were fun. Whenever I come back from a show I always say that music was meant to be heard live, and this time it's no different. They played a good smattering of songs from all of their albums except for Oz Factor, which really breaks my heart. My favorite song of theirs live continues to be Rescue Me. I never even liked that song so much when I heard it on the album, but something about hearing that one live that I just LOVE. They came out for an encore and did a cover of this song. I dug it. And now you can get a taste of it (at least of the original song) here:
The Chris and Amy tour finally wrapped up this past weekend with our final stop in California. When we came back from Vancouver I was not interested at all to go to California, but as it got closer I got really excited for it. Mostly because we'd get to visit with a few people, and I was really looking forward to hanging out with Los Reids. I just love love love those people. And a special shout out for Laura and Matt, which brings me to my next point...
It kind of amazes me the bonds that we formed with our friends from freshmen year. I'm still close to several friends from that time period, and my friendship with Laura has always remained strong, regardless of how little we see of each other. She has an awesome husband in Matt, and I am always excited as can be to see the both of them. I didn't mention this to Amy, but I'm desperate to meet up with them in Arizona for Spring Training one year. It's also funny that I'm now related to two people from that freshmen year.
We had kind of an adventure coming home. It rained in spots during the trip, but there was one 300 foot stretch of highway where rain turned to pretty heavy slush, causing our car to hydroplane in a couple of spots. In that area we saw at least 5 cars either spun off the side of the highway or completely overturned with the top portion of the cabin smashed in. Then I realized I forgot my backpack when I asked Amy to look for my scrips, meaning that I did not have my keys, including keys to our apartment. That led to our first break-in as a married couple. That one will get its own post later. Then the next morning Amy looked out at her car from our kitchen window to see that the rear passenger window was shattered. I've never had such an eventful ride back.
It was Black Sunday last weekend as far as our sports teams are concerned. Lakers lost. Angels swept by the city I hate most. Canucks lost. Ducks were eliminated. Bad day. The world was angry my day, my friends.
Amy's birthday celebrations continue tonight at Jump On It. I'm sure pics will follow.
I have some other posts a brewing, but I just thought I'd spill all that out for yas.
We had a really great stake conference over the weekend. The area 70 who spoke at the session on Saturday was especially good. I had a bunch of notes and things that I had written down from his talk, but the thing that stuck out the most to me was his comments about spending time with one another, and he said exactly, "time is love."
Then he shared this poem by Elrod Leany:
One day when Bruce was just a lad, first starting out in school,
He came into my workshop and climbed upon a stool.
I saw him as he entered but I hadn't time to play.
So I merely nodded to him and said, "Don't get in the way."
He sat awhile just thinking.... As quiet as could be,
Then carefully he got down and came and stood by me.
He said, "Old Shep, he never works and he has lots of fun.
He runs around the meadows and barks up at the sun.
"He chases after rabbits and always scares the cats
He likes to chew on old shoes and sometimes mother's hats.
But when we're tired of running and we're sitting on a log,
I sometimes get to thinking. . . 'I wish my daddy was a dog.'
" 'Cause then when I came home from school you'd run and lick my hand
And then we'd jump and holler and tumble in the sand
And then I'd be as happy as a little boy could be
If we could play the whole day through--just my dad and me.
"Now I know you have to work real hard to buy us food and clothes.
And you need to get the girls those fancy ribbons and bows.
But sometimes when I'm lonesome I think t'would be lots of fun,
If my daddy was a dog, and all his work was done."
Now when he'd finished speaking, he looked so lonely there,
I reached my hand out to him and ruffled up his hair.
And as I turned my head aside to brush away a tear,
I thought how nice it was to have my son so near.
I know the Lord didn't mean for man to toil his whole life through,
"Come on, my son I'm sure I have some time for you."
You should have seen the joy and sunlight in his eye,
As we went outside to play - just my son and I.
Now, as the years have swiftly flown and youth has slipped away,
I've tried always to remember to leave some time to play.
When I pause to reminisce and think of joys and strife,
I carefully turn the pages of this wanderer's book of life.
I find the richest entry recorded in that daily log,
Is the day that small boy whispered, "I wish my daddy was a dog."
The poem is sweet, but his delivery was so good and it worked so perfectly with that part of his message.
Lately things for Amy and I have been very relaxed as compared to how it all was just before the wedding, hectic. If anything, there is an abundance of love in our home because we've been able to spend so much time together lately. At certain spots it has felt a little slow, but I'm trying to savor it as much as possible because I'm sure it will be a short season before life speeds up again.
A couple weeks ago someone in my department at the Church Office Building recently retired, and his wife was remarking that it was the first time since he left to work for the Church that she felt like she had him back again. That was 33 years ago.
It's just kind of interesting to me the natural ebb and flow of life. That's all.
Some interesting news came out last week - Judge Walker, whose ruling in Prop 8 overturned the constitutional amendment in California confirmed that he was gay. News outlets report that he had been in a relationship for the last ten years.
This article by Ed Whelan found in NRO helps explains some of the reasons for the need to vacate his ruling. This blog post in the SF Chronicle by John Eastman, former dean of Chapman Law School, further elucidates the point. This online article by Whelan explains the gross misconduct by Judge Walker throughout the case.
I just love people. I woke up last night to a text at 2am from my best friend starting the birthday well wishes. I came to my email this morning to another onslaught of emails from Facebook friends with more well wishes. The best part of this morning so far was the phone call from Ryan Reid wishing me a happy birthday. I just love these people.
Allow me to point out a things on my day:
April 15th is the 105 day of the year. And on this date in:
1755 - Publication of Samuel Johnson's A Dictionary of the English Language.
1783 - Preliminary articles of peace ending the Revolutionary War are ratified.
1802 - William Wordsworth (is there a better name for a poet?) sees a long belt of daffodils which inspires him to pen I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud. I loved that one when I first came across it in high school.
1865 - Abraham Lincoln dies without regaining consciousness.
1912 - The Titanic sinks at 2:20am after hitting an iceberg two and half hours before. I've seen this one placed on April 14th, but I'm perfectly happy to claim it as my own.
1923 - Insulin becomes available.
1947 - Jackie Robinson debuts for the Brooklyn Dodgers, becoming the first black man to cross the color barrier in professional sports in the United States.
1955 - McDonald's own Ray Kroc opens the first franchise in Des Moines, Illinois.
1957 - Not sure how this made the list, but I'm including it for my Vancouver readers, White Rock separates from Surrey and becomes incorporated as its own city.
1983 - Tokyo Disneyland opens. I had no idea it went that far back.
1989 - The Tiananmen Square protests begin.
Pretty cool though, right? Lots of very significant dates, especially bad ones. I guess it's debatable whether my entrance into this world marks one of the good or bad ones. But if it's bad, at least it is monumentally bad. I don't want to be half-hearted about it, one way or the other. If it's going to be bad, may as well be extremelybad, right?
Famous people born on my special day:
1452 – Leonardo da Vinci, Italian Renaissance polymath (d. 1519)
1843 – Henry James, American author (d. 1916)
1858 – Émile Durkheim, French sociologist (d. 1917) Only significant to me because of my background in the social sciences. This guy is a pretty big deal for us.
1912 – Kim Il-sung, President of North Korea (d. 1994) Bad guy.
1916 – Alfred S. Bloomingdale, American businessman (d. 1982) Kinda interesting. At least you know his name.
1982 – Seth Rogen, Canadian actor and writer. I find him funny.
1990 – Emma Watson, English actress. Hermione!
Those are just a few that I recognized and I thought were interesting. I may have also gone to the Wikipedia page and added my name. I wonder how long that will stay up.
It's also tax day here in the US. Naturally, I've read a number of things about how to approach tax day in the United States, chief among them being, "if you're getting a refund back from the US Treasury then you're giving the government free money!" It sounds nice, but most of the time people are only loaning the government an insignificant amount of money, even if it's a few thousand dollars. That kind of thinking ignores the psychology that goes into money and giving too much weight to purely economic considerations.
I finally got a number to back me up...if you're receiving $3,000 in refunds after tax day, that would have allowed you to earn $2.50 a month. We all agree that the $3,000 you receive as a windfall come April is much more welcome than getting that doled out through the year, right? I know for me I spend that money much more wisely if I get it in a lump sum like that than I would have if it got spread out, so essentially you pay for the government to save that money for you. That money gets put toward better uses, paying off debts, contributes toward a big purchase, then ultimately, savings and such. Just saying.
There was a time when I wanted a lot of recognition on my birthday. One time in high school I felt especially put out, but I think BYU reduced my expectations for my birthday when it just so happened that I would always be writing final papers and such because of its timing during the semester. Fortunately I had good friends who always did a lot of work to make my day a good one (at least when all the school work had passed). There were multiple years when I had stayed up the whole night writing papers the night before my birthday. Not so cool.
Now I'm pretty much satisfied with any sort of acknowledgment, if only wall posts on FB, but of course presents are always welcome. I'm not that noble.
Here's the poem that owes its birth to this day:
I WANDERED lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed--and gazed--but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.
And here's a song to remind you of me and to kick off your weekend:
I had a different song up before, but I finally figured out what this song was called. This is my joint!
I started subscribing to the National Geographic Travel blog a week or so ago and now it's one of my favorite reads each day. There are so many cool things happening all over the world, and they get a pretty good run down on a lot of those things, but, of course, being National Geographic, it also means that there are some really cool pics.
Anyway, they included this quote by Mark Twain today:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
One of today's posts had a link to another site where another guy documented some of the extreme things he did in New Zealand. The guy posted this video of his experience riding on the world's largest swing:
If you can understand what they're saying, the swing operators are pretty funny. It'd be fun to do that and just mess with people, if a little harsh in their language, but what would you expect from guys like that? Or is that an unfair characterization? (Here is the original post.)
Also, the person who writes the Nat'l Geo blog is hosting one of the sessions for Meet, Plan, Go. People are gathering in more than a dozen different cities to discuss how to go about taking significant amounts of time off to travel the world. The author himself (herself?) took off a year with his family - including two kids - to travel the world. Cool, right? These meetings will all be happening concurrently on October 18th. The closest one to here will be in Las Vegas, but there is one in LA.
So I've been listening to this 80s playlist on Grooveshark and decided that I would try and improve on it. Am I the only idiot who removes certain songs because they were actually early 90s, but not 80s? That I would even bother to look up some of these songs to make sure they were 80s indicates that I'm a moron. Some of them I just threw in because I liked them enough. I know the difference between 80s and 90s Madonna, thankyouverymuch, but I felt like Cherish just had to get thrown in there. So sue me. I can distinguish the 80s-90s border pretty well, but the 70s-80s one is pretty darn tricky.
In any case, give it a try here. Let me know if I've missed any, or what your favorites are.
And if you just don't like 80s music, well, I don't think I want to know you then.
Did you know it's National African-American Women's Fitness/Alcohol Awareness/Cancer Control/Car Care/National Card and Letter Writing/National Child Abuse Prevention/Confederate History/Couple Appreciation/International Customer Loyalty/National Decorating/National Donate Life/Emotional Overeating Awareness/Fresh Florida Tomato/Grange/Holy Humor/National Humor/Informed Woman/Jazz Appreciation/National Kite Month/National Knuckles Down/National Landscape Architecture/
Month of the Young Child/National Occupational Therapy Month/National Pecan Month/National Pet First Aid Awareness/Pharmacists War on Diabetes/Physical Wellness/National Poetry/Prevention of Animal Cruelty/Rosacea Awareness/
School Library Media Month/National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention/National
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Education and Awareness/Soyfoods/Straw Hat/Stress Awareness/International Twit Award/Women's Eye Health and Safety/Workplace Conflict Awareness/World Habitat Awareness/National Youth Sports Safety Month?
So celebrate by working out with your favorite female African-American/abstaining from alcohol/eating more antioxidants/writing a card or letter/not visiting your creepy 55 year old single uncle/setting our your General Lee bust on your lawn/sending flowers to your favorite couple/buying your favorite product/decorating your home/donating to pro-life campaigns/putting down that gallon of ice cream/eating a Florida fresh tomato/working on your personal garden/telling a religious joke/telling any joke/enlightening a woman/listening to Duke Ellington/flying a kite/playing a game of marbles/redesigning your front yard/babysitting/helping a stroke victim learning to walk/having pecan pie/putting a bandage on a kitty/not eating so much fatty food/going out for a run/being gentle with your skin/visiting your local library/not allowing your sorority sister to go home with that creechy guy from alpha beta omega/having safe sex/having Silk with your cereal/wearing a straw hat/meditating and breathing deeply/celebrating your favorite twit/not poking girls in the eye/mediating problems in the workplace/visiting a zoo and reading National Geographic/encouraging your local high school to wear safer football helmets!
Please appreciate the effort I put into doing that for you. Please. Sorry that I didn't bother to link something to every day. I just chose some random ones. But you can look it up. April really is the month for all of those.
On a related note, tomorrow is Obsura Day. The day is about celebrating the world's wonders, curiosities, and esoterica. 109 cities are participating and there is a whole range of events and activities available tomorrow. There aren't any around Utah, unfortunately, but LA has several and so does Vancouver. Click on the link above to find out if your city has any special events. The best part? A lot of them are free. Some examples include:
You can descend into the catacombs below Naples, Italy with an art historian; tour Mary's Gone Wild Folk Art & Baby Doll Museum in Supply, North Carolina; experience the powerful Saltsraumen Maestrom near Bodo, Norway; visit Tesla's laboratory on Long Island with GOOD editor Ben Jervey; sneak around the Haunted Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado; go behind the scenes of the Cycladic Museum in Athens, Greece; poke around in the World's Largest Collection of the World's Smallest Versions of the World's Largest Things in Lucas, Kansas; check out the birthplace of the Internet in Los Angeles with Matt Novak of PaleoFuture blog; pass through secret doors on a treasure hunt at the Mansion on O St. in Washington, DC. And much, much, much, MUCH more.
I never thought that it would take me this long to get married. My mission president didn't have any specific counsel about marriage - just do it in the right place, at the right time, by the right authority was all that he really said. I didn't envision myself getting married young, but not when I turned 30 either. I thought around 25 or so it would happen. Maybe 24.
When I got home from the mission things moved pretty comfortably in that area of my life. I started dating a girl not long after I got home from the mission. We dated for close to a year before things fizzled. Then I met another girl and we started dating not long after that. That one last for the longest time. I've revisited that one a few times on this blog, but from start to messy finish, that one took several years to unfold.
In the midst of that time one of the high councilors in my stake would always give me a hard time about not being married, except it wasn't in the joking, everything is going to work out kind of way. It was in the good-natured, but poorly delivered, "you're a good guy, how come you're not married" kind of way.
One time he started asking me about it and it couldn't have been worse timing. Things had just gone sour (again) with the girl I had been dating, and he actually said something to the effect of, "well you're friend just got married, you should follow his example. Don't you want to get married?" It just about destroyed me at the time, so I told him in my most earnest and pain-filled voice, "Of course I want to get married, do you think that I'm avoiding it? Do you think that it's not something that I'm conscious of every minute of every day?"
I think what bothered me about this well-intended brother was that I felt like he had a pretty good feeling for who I was as a person. He knows about my level of Church involvement and activity. He had seen me serving quite extensively in the Church, and I guess I just felt like he should know that I get it: I'm a return missionary without any obvious hindrances toward marriage, so I should be actively pursuing it.
I felt like I was, but it was hard to be constantly reminded that I was coming up short in an area of my life of which that I was actually very incredibly aware.
Sometimes I have a problem with the way people in the Church approach the topic of the young single unmarried adults. There was a lot of reference to it at this last General Conference, and even in my last stake conference it was a topic that was broached repeatedly. I (generally) don't like the allocation of blame allotted to the men because for every young male in the Church who avoids marriage because he is a man-boy and afraid of taking on that responsibility, there is also a similarly afflicted female version of that person.
I guess I don't like it because it's an over-simplification of what the overarching problem is, that there is a cultural shift in the marriage and relationship dynamic in the world which bleeds over into Church members. Unfortunately, the people of the Church are not unperturbed by the social mores and so as the world goes, sometimes we also follow.
I don't have much more insight into this subject other than those thoughts. All I can say now is that being on this side of it, I'm grateful for how things worked out. I don't know that I'm better or worse off getting married now as compared to when I originally thought that I would, but I'm happy things worked out the way that they did. I feel like I'm with the person who best complements me, and every miniscule thing that happens in our new lives feels like a confirmation from heaven that now was the right time, the right place, and the right person with whom to get married. I feel like I can say along with Elder Holland, "some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." My path didn't allow for me to get married until this point, and I'm glad for it. For some people it comes right when you're 22 and for others it comes perhaps much later in life, but it always arrives when we put our faith in the Lord.
I'm just grateful that He is in charge and that I am not. My blueprints for success are much messier than His.
Aren't those always so good? Admittedly, I struggled through much of Saturday's sessions. Still getting used to this sleeping next to someone else thing. Our temperatures are all off. I did really appreciate Priesthood session though, and I was quite alert for Sunday. Something really funny about conference: A friend of mine posted on Facebook the other day - Married By October. And then this follow up to that website.
Amy's dad made the comment to me when they Skype'd us on Sunday that I was probably breathing a sigh of relief. I was. It's nice to be on this side of the (wedding) veil. Although I do have some opinions about that, but that's for another day.
A few other things:
The I Don't Care Bears of the Yahoo Fantasy Basketball league went undefeated this season en route to the championship. I don't know if you still come around here Jake, but in your face! When I come back next season I'll be better than ever. My guys went 104-36-4 over the season and won in the championship 6-3 over Justa Movin' and Shakin'. Those fantasy leagues are loads of fun and a nice distraction. On a related note...
I hopped in with another friend into his baseball fantasy league. I haven't done baseball in several years because there are just so many games, but I'm looking forward to this one. The managers are more active, so it's just a bit more interactive. On another related note...
Amy narrowly edged me out of our NCAA tournament bracket when UConn made the final. I wonder if this is the first time ever that everyone's tournament brackets were decided before the Final Four because NO ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD could have guessed those teams. I think I heard on ESPN that two brackets, out of tens of millions, predicted that Final Four. 2.
The funniest part about losing that bracket, though, was when I asked if I could polish off the chocolate milk and Amy made me say, "You know more about sports than I do." Funny girl.
And what a game last night, right? More like dud.
We got a buffet last night and put it all together. Have no idea what a buffet is when it's NOT referring to food? This is what we got. We just love it. It's going to look awesome with that painting hanging above it. I didn't feel like putting it together last night, but Amy prodded and I'm glad that we did. It looks great and it was actually a lot of fun getting that all set up.
Finally got back into running last Friday after three weeks off. Previous to the wedding extravaganza I had several good weeks of running. I had gotten up to about 9 miles on my long runs, with about 4-5 runs each week. Then absolutely nothing. It killed me running over the weekend. I developed a huge blister and my legs are still pretty sore. The problem with all this is that I'm supposed to run a half marathon at the end of the month so I'm going to have to build my mileage pretty quickly. I also realized recently that I'm really planning on running the Deseret News in July, I should be starting on my training anyway. Yikes. And so running season begins...
I still love it though. I had been developing some aches and the lay-off was helpful, I think. I've got muscle soreness now, but no joint or arch pain which I think is more important in the long run (yep).
That's all I've got for now. Have a good one, y'all!
I just love it. Baseball=summertime. Ballgames=a life of ease. Something kind of funny about my dad is that he was so determined that we (my brother and me) become culturally American, to the point that there really isn't that much about him or I that is culturally Brazilian. I'm kind of a chameleon that way. I noticed this again when Amy and I were in Mexico. To them I was always Hispanic first so they would automatically just speak to me in Spanish, which was fun, but made me realize that I need to work on my Spanish again. I digress...
One of the things that my dad pushed us into was baseball. Americans play baseball, we were going to be American, therefore we would play baseball, which was great. Except that I hated it. We never played before getting put in our leagues, so I just didn't have any of that kind of coordination so I was terrible at it. I quit, begged to be put in soccer, and stuck with that the rest of my life.
Then a few years later I just got all the way invested into it. I never played in leagues again, but I went to a few baseball camps, and we'd play everyday in the summers. Seriously, every day. Turns out much of my youth was spent obsessively playing sports, for which, I have absolutely no regrets. I started collecting baseball cards which my mom later sold, unbeknownst to me until it had already transpired. That broke my heart.
With all of that, I just love baseball now. There is nothing more summery than going to an Angels game, buying a hot dog, and watching them play in the warm but temperate Southern California summer sun. I can't wait until I can play catch with my kids and do all of those fun American things.
In certain ways I really wish my dad would have incorporated more appreciation for his own culture, but he did push me strongly into American culture, and for that, I really am so grateful.
My heart literally skips a beat when I hear this song playing at the stadium. Even just hearing it now makes me kind of teary-giddy like a little kid. I just love it.
Well, here we are. I'm having trouble getting back into writing my paper so I thought I'd at least get some writing done and do a brief little blog post for y'all. The last 10 days in brief:
Sealed! St. Patrick's day for the Silva family will now always be anniversary eve for us. The sealing was wonderful, the reception was fun, and the food was plentiful. A little too plentiful, as it turns out. So hard to plan for these things.
We checked into the Little America Hotel that afternoon, only to check out at about 5:00 am the next morning to catch our flight to Cancun. I won't bother going over the details of the trip because Amy Walton Silva has that up on her blog that you can find here.
We flew out Thursday afternoon and got back at around 11:00 pm that night. Her brother picked us up, brought us back to his place because my car was taken there after the wedding.
We checked out of Hotel Scott and Elisha at about 5:00 am again the following morning to catch our next flight up to Seattle, rented a car, and then drove up to Vancouver. I blew my line when we crossed the border, but thankfully, we were not detained.
A fun-filled weekend of hanging with the family and games and pictures followed with the Vancouver Open House on Saturday night.
After another three hour car ride back to Seattle we flew back home and got in at about 11:00 pm last night.
And I am all traveled out. I am ready to sit down for a week and just try and get my life - our lives - in order and up and running.
Getting married is really great. You plan a big party and all of your favorite people come out to celebrate you. You finish the party and then you don't even have to stick around and clean up. You get to go on a trip somewhere fun. People give you gifts, and they might not even know you, or even your spouse, but because they happen to like your spouse's family, they will give you stuff anyway. It's wonderful.
One of the best parts about getting married is the overwhelming and entirely satisfying love that you feel from your close friends and family. I cannot say enough about how much I appreciated everyone who bothered to come out to Utah, to come to our sealing, our dinner, our reception, or what have you, and just say kind words and share big hugs. There is no way I could ever say enough about how grateful I am for everyone who helped out with setting things up, clean up, bringing stuff back to our apartment, who helped us move, who offered counsel, or any of the other one million kind gestures that have been shown to us in these last several months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Thank you for being in our lives and thank you for all your loving kindness.
I just can't believe it. This one is from our bridals and groomals. Just love this one. I'm so excited for everyone to get into town and for how much fun the next little while is going to be. Truthfully, all of it has been fun these last few weeks. That's not to say it won't be nice once all of the festivities are over to just get back to a new "normal" life, but it's still nice while it's here. Maybe I'll be back before Friday, maybe not.
Our servers are down at work so I can't access any of the projects that I've been working on, so that usually means lots of websurfing and that leads to blogging. Here are some random things:
Read this article on Governor Walker and the maneuvering that he did in Wisconsin to remove collective bargaining off the table for the teachers' union. More and more of this stuff is starting to surface, and will continue to do so in the next few years to come. Public unions and services have been borrowing against the future for a long time now, but the problem is that the future is fast arriving with crushing realities, namely, fiscal insolvency. I can't wait until this happens in California. Anyway, the big thing worth noting is that Governor Walker has been amazing in his handling of this situation. He never blinked during the whole process, but you know what's also crazy? Democratic legislators have been hiding out in Illinois for the past 3 weeks. Word is, one thing that prompted this process was when one of the Dems filed for an absentee ballot for the April 5th election. That means they were planning on sticking it out for at least a month! That's insanity. Good for Governor Walker, and good for Wisconsin.
There are certain blogs that I just love, and they're all posted on the left of your screen. One of those is Study Hacks. He had a really cool post yesterday. He advocates simple things - focus, hard work - and while those are very obvious positive attributes, it sounds so unfamiliar these days, you know? Anyway, yesterday's post was on Non-Conformity in a Conformist Career. Good stuff.
Regarding that last point, I think I'm going to start a thesis journal, and post more about that progress on here. Another guy I know has been doing that, and something I read recently talked about how getting things done really requires complete focus, which means allowing yourself to get somewhat consumed by the pursuit. I need more of that. Wedding stuff has made me distracted lately, which I hate using as an excuse, but it really has just been that way. I'd like to stop punting. Time to start going for it...in about 2 weeks...smiley face.
A friend of mine was asking me about how often I verbalize my feelings, and then I had to preface my answer with the fact that I might be an anomaly because I tend to be really verbally expressive. I guess that shouldn't be surprising to anyone who reads this blog, but I'm just that way in my relationships. Just got me thinking about love languages - affection, words of affirmation, gifts, time...the fifth one. It's interesting how people evolve and how those things can change as a person matures, or as a relationship matures. Thankfully, Amy and I seem to coincide with how we express and receive so we don't really have any dust-ups with that stuff.
Service. There's the fifth.
Last point: Everything is just amazing, isn't it? I was thinking this morning about our wedding, but more about the sealing and it started to get me emotional. Pretty soon I get to partake in some of the highest privileges that the gospel has to offer, and regardless of how the rest of the day goes, because I will partake in the sealing ceremony next Friday the best day of my life up until now will be March 18th, 2011. That's amazing. I hope I can keep that in perspective.
For my class Neurophysio class all of the students had to go to the Stress Management Lab at BYU and participate in some of the diagnostics that they have there. You can find some of their resources and services that they provide by clicking here.
It's kind of funny and about what you'd expect when you walk in: there is one of those little running water things sounding constantly, a few plants scattered throughout the room, and then a nice big comfortable chair from which to do all of the assessments.
The lab technician has you watch a ball descend up and down and you are supposed to time you breathing according to the rise, falls, and pauses while your heart rate is being monitored. I think it's kind of hokey, but I also kind of like these things too.
I fully recognize the value of meditation/relaxation exercises, and I love the deep-breathing stuff because it really does help to get myself more centered. All of this is part of why I want to get into yoga more, because while it is a work-out and would help with stress, I kind of like the meditative side to it all. In the lab, the person has you progress from 7.0 breaths a minute down to 4.5. If you're interested in checking it out, you can follow that link above and they have the program that is used for free (30 days) and you can even download the audio files after which you pattern your breathing. Know what's kind of cool? There is a deep-breathing exercise machine that you can now purchase at Costco that is the only thing approved by the FDA that is not some type of drug to help lower your blood pressure. You can find that here. It's just kind of cool.
The technician monitoring me noticed right away that I have a pretty strong heart. Ever since I can remember my resting heart rate is somewhere in the low 50s. Yesterday it clocked in at about 51. What's kind of neat is that your sympathetic and parasympathetic systems turn on and off as you inhale and exhale, so your heart naturally rises and falls with every breath you take. My range spread from 40-70 from inhale to exhale.
My favorite part of the thing was when she was showing me how sensitive the instruments are when measuring heart rate and the waves of the beats. Apparently I have a really great ability to center myself and get my autonomic system regular, but there was one point in the session where she asked if my thoughts had drifted off and I had become distracted. Then she hooked me up to the machine to redo that segment, and then asked me to think about different positive thoughts and then anything that is stressful. My heart rate and breathing then started to bounce all over the place. It was crazy to see how much that psycho-physio stuff really can affect your system.
This whole Brandon Davies thing has been really interesting. There has been tons of media attention on BYU and the Honor Code, and it has implications on the impressions that people form about the Church. You know what was really cool? This morning sitting in a meeting with one of the higher-ups in the Public Affairs Committee discussing this particular issue and what it means for the Church. It's fun working up here.
It's interesting what this does for public perception of the Church. My suspicion is that if you ask most Evangelicals what the Church should have done, they would have said, "let the kid play ball." Their view is probably one that argues more heavily for mercy than for justice, for grace over consequences. Our Church just happens to have a different conception of what is entailed in Christian doctrine.
It means not only holding ourselves to a high standard, but being accountable to that standard. Hopefully the fall-out over this drama will help the university and the Church to also learn how to emphasize the compassionate side as well, because out in the media wasteland all anyone is talking about is how the law is being applied too harshly, but bravo for sticking to our standards.
I don't know. It's an interesting topic though, no?
With that kiddos, have a good weekend! And this song has been in my head all this morning. People are making all sorts of attributions, but I'm not sure that anyone has any firsthand knowledge about what actually transpired, how it came about
Everyone has his/her things, right? I'm talking about members of our Church. A person will take a hard-line stance on a particular issue, say, R-rated movies and swear off of them and speak vehemently against them because our Church leaders have said simply, we do not watch R-rated movies.
And then that's it.
We'll go ahead and watch other things of questionable morality because Church leaders haven't explicitly stated, do not watch such and such. Left to our own devices, a lot of times we miss the mark. We keep the letter, but not the spirit of the law. Often we have those two things confused. We think that the letter is harsher than the spirit. It's not. The spirit is always more strict. For example, the letter says don't watch R-rated movies, but the spirit would indicate, don't watch anything of questionable morality, right?
I'm not perfect with that particular law. I had no restrictions growing up and so I was really used to just watching any ol' movie I felt like. Then I got to BYU and met a whole world of people who never watched any R-rated movies and I thought that was such a revelation. Good for them, and now good for me too! I reformed, didn't watch anything and was off serving in the vineyard called Chile.
Since then I've been off and on. I think more on than off. To be honest, it had a lot to do with who I was dating at the time, although there was a period of several years when I wasn't dating anyone and I held hard and fast to that rule. Now I'm on, and that has a lot to do with Amy's influence, but I think on my own I'd be pretty steady in this area. But every so often now, I'll let certain things in from time to time. (Example: I saw 127 hours. It was really good, but awfully graphic. Anyway...)
I'm getting away from my main point. Last year I let myself get into Glee because it was fun. They had cool performances, clever writing, and some cute characters, but at the beginning of the Fall season, I just got so turned off to it. Kurt became too central to the show's plot, Finn was constantly villainized, and I just hated it. I deleted it from my DVR.
Then a week or so ago I was stretching post-run in my room, and I'll always turn on the TV while I'm just sitting there, and Glee happened to be on so I thought I'd give it another chance. It was an episode about alcohol awareness and the whole cast was getting drunk, and the theme basically centered on how no one in the world could ever be expected to abstain completely, so try and be wise about when and where you do it. It boiled my blood.
I just can't stand this show. It's not just the same-sex issues. It's not just about the show's rampant promiscuity. It is pretty much everything about it. The show just seems to cut against the grain of anything and everything that we as Church members believe in. It makes me wonder how I can draw a strict line when it comes to the movies I'll watch, and then let this garbage on through just because there isn't an explicit declaration about TV-MA type shows.
What bothers me most about the show is that it has such an obvious target audience. Whether we think so or not, we are subtly influence by every message that is thrown our way. It comes through in what we see, hear, and read. And I guess this show is so irksome to me because it is supplying our youth, and ourselves, with false impressions of what is really valuable. It lowers our values and commitments to sacred principles. I guess it just bothers me because it subverts so much of what is supposed to be so valuable to us, and it aims primarily at kids who are so impressionable.
I hate coming off as self-righteous about this because I know that there is so much that I do wrong, but this is one thing that I know I can cut out. If you watch it, please don't. Let's not invest our time and attention into supporting something that doesn't agree with our standards. It's garbage, and will only hold us back. For a time I let myself get caught up in it too, but I'm done with that now. This is one less thing on my list of a million things to work on. If it isn't one of yours yet, please make it so now.
