Monday, August 10, 2009

Don't Know Much About...Anything

I feel like I must laugh at myself about as much as I laugh at anything else. Last night it was because while I was watching the end of Pretty Woman on TV, waiting to get tired, Richard Gere's character says, "my special gift is impossible relationships," and I thought to myself that I could so identify with the fictitious billionaire who decides to pursue a serious relationship with a hooker. It's idiotic. But kinda funny, right? I actually thought, man, I so get this guy. And then I removed myself just enough to be able to laugh out loud at how absurd I am sometimes.

I guess I mostly identified with the sentiment of that line. I don't think you get to be a single 29 year old member in the church without wondering to yourself once in a while why haven't things worked out yet in the marriage realm.

Thankfully, I have a lot of great people in my life who are incredibly insightful about dating and love and all of that jazz. One reason being home has been fun has been because of power lunches I'll get to do with friends. For some reason in Utah I just don't have many of those types of friends, but in California I never hurt to find someone who wants to go and get something to eat. I absolutely love it.

Given some of my recent experiences and what I've seen in the lives of others, some of these various lines that I've heard these people say aloud are like gold to me, but I realize that with them posted nakedly here, they lack the context and probably some of the potency that they have taken on for me.
  • He gets invested past the point of feeling - a friend of mine said this referring to her brother. I never really thought of it in this sense, but it's so true when you think about it in the way that Nephi says it in reference to his brothers being past the point of being able to feel the operation of the spirit in their lives. I know that I've seen this in my own life, more often than I would like to admit. You just get so invested with a person, there is so much time, energy, and love that even when all signs indicate that the relationship just shouldn't work, you keep hanging on anyway. How do you counteract that tendency? I think by keeping in mind this next line...
  • Love is about growth and vulnerability - said to me last night. I think she had a slightly different spin when she said it than what I'm taking it as right now, but I've been thinking a lot lately about love and what it really entails. Love is grander than infatuation, excitement, or just feeling really attached to somebody. Love, the kind that we should all aspire for, has not only depth, but should also be indicated by growth and progress with a person. I mentioned this at length in my last post, but we need to eschew counterfeit bonds masquerading as what we may mistake as love. Just like faith, hope, and charity all accompany one another, I think that love, virtue, and righteousness are deeply embedded within one another. Love is kindness. It's either all there or it isn't. There are no two ways about it.
  • People misbehave because of pain, or at least the fear of it - I liked this one the most, and it came from my friend's grandfather. It really rings true for me in what I've been noticing lately, and helps me feel sympathy for people who treat others poorly, but I also think that it helps me to recognize that if I'm thinking less than good thoughts that I need to zero in on the real source of why I want to act out.
Like everyone else, I've had both good and bad experiences. They're not any better or worse than anyone else's, they're just mine. I've felt a lot of things this past week while I've been trying to figure myself and others out, and I think I can honestly say I'm grateful for all that I've gone through. I am not like Paul and am at the point where I glory in tribulations, but I know that the Lord is proving my mettle, and I do not want to fail him.

The experiences I have had give me depth, and hopefully with that depth comes wisdom and understanding. Sometimes the things other people do leave me scratching my head or wanting to scream, but I can say with full confidence that with all of my course corrections, I think at some point I'll reach my appointed destination.

Now if I only knew where that place actually was this whole thing would be a lot easier.

This song has been in my head since I heard it this morning, and it seems appropriate for the content of this post, so enjoy!

1 comment:

Jared said...


When are you going back up to Utah? We need to do lunch, or dinner. I found this great Cambodian/Philippino BBQ place in Cypress. It's amazing.