Obedience and Compliance

My brother sent me a compilation of news stories about the McDonald's hoax wherein a person called posing as a police officer, and asked the store manager of the fast food restaurant to strip search one of the employees to see if the employee had stolen any goods. You've all heard of this, right? Apparently it happened at a number of different restaurants, a number of times, approximately 60 different instances.

Before I jump to the story itself, please refer back to this post that I put up last year talking about the Milgram experiments. The briefest summary I can give is basically this: people came in thinking they were there for a learning and punishment experiment, when really it was a study on obedience and compliance, in reaction to the war crimes perpetrated by the Nazis. The end result was essentially that people will do just about anything when ordered to by someone they see in authority.

What's really interesting about this case of the guy calling in and having these employees perform these incredibly devious and perverted acts was that they are the perfect real world examples of the Milgram findings. I wish I had a direct link to articles, but some cutting and pasting will have to do.

She was a high school senior who had just turned 18 -- a churchgoing former Girl Scout who hadn't received a single admonition in her four months working at the McDonald's in Mount Washington.

But when a man who called himself "Officer Scott" called the store on April 9, 2004, and said an employee had been accused of stealing a purse, Louise Ogborn became the suspect.

"He gave me a description of the girl, and Louise was the one who fit it to the T," assistant manager Donna Jean Summers said.

Identifying himself as a police officer, the caller issued an ultimatum: Ogborn could be searched at the store or be arrested, taken to jail and searched there.

"I was bawling my eyes out and literally begging them to take me to the police station because I didn't do anything wrong," Ogborn said later in a deposition. She had taken the $6.35-an-hour position after her mother lost her job. "I couldn't steal -- I'm too honest. I stole a pencil one time from a teacher and I gave it back."

Summers, 51, conceded later that she had never known Ogborn to do a thing dishonest. But she nonetheless led Ogborn to the restaurant's small office, locked the door, and -- following the caller's instructions -- ordered her to remove one item of clothing at a time, until she was naked.

"She was crying," recalled Kim Dockery, 40, another assistant manager, who stood by watching. "A little young girl standing there naked wasn't a pretty sight."

Summers said later that "Officer Scott," who stayed on the telephone, giving his orders, sounded authentic. He said he had "McDonald's corporate" on the line, as well as the store manager, whom he mentioned by name. And she thought she could hear police radios in the background.

Summers shook each garment, placed it in a bag and took the bag away. "I did exactly what he said to do," Summers said of her caller.

It was just after 5 p.m., and for Ogborn, hours of degradation and abuse were just beginning.

What followed is much worse than you would ever think possible. I'll leave the rest of the details up to your imaginations, but the caller got everyone involved to do exactly what he wanted.

The reactions to the acts are typical, from total dismay and disgust to sympathy for those involved. From one of the stories:

Across the United States, at least 13 people who executed strip-searches ordered by the caller were charged with crimes, and seven were convicted.

But most of the duped managers were treated as victims — just like the people they searched and humiliated.

They all "fell under the spell of a voice on the telephone," wrote a judge in Zanesville, Ohio, in an order acquitting Scott Winsor, 35, who'd been charged with unlawfully restraining and imposing himself on two women who worked for him at a McDonald's.

Chicago lawyer Craig Annunziata, who has defended 30 franchises sued after hoaxes, said every manager he interviewed genuinely believed they were helping police.

"They weren't trying to get their own jollies," he said.

Many of the supervisors were fired and some divorced by their spouses, Annunziata said. Others required counseling.

But the duped managers have been condemnedby others.

"You don't have to be a Phi Beta Kappa to know not to strip-search a girl who is accused of stealing change," said Roger Hall, the lawyer for a woman who won $250,000 after being strip-searched at a McDonald's in Louisa, Ky.

A Fox-TV commentator asked how the managers who went along could be so "colossally stupid."

While the incidents were triggered by a "perverted miscreant" wrote a federal judge in Georgia, the managers "still had a responsibility to use common sense and avoid falling prey to such a scam."

Though the Milgram experiment may help explain why supervisors went along with the caller, even Milgram's disciples say it doesn't absolve them of responsibility.

Just as one-third of the participants in Milgram's study refused to shock the subject, some supervisors refused to go along, including a supervisor at McDonald's Hillview store, who hung up on the caller the very night of the Mount Washington hoax.

"Nobody held a gun to their heads," said Blass, whose book about Milgram is titled, "The Man Who Shocked the World."

"They had the critical ability to decide whether to carry out their orders."

It's easy to judge all those who allowed everything to go so far, but we really underestimate how powerful a force the demand of obedience is. Everyday we live our lives completely dependent on the fact that people are going to do and act in the ways that we are all supposed to. We drive to work or school in safety (for the most part) because we can assume that people will obey traffic laws. Everything we do is dependent on some level of order, and without that assumption, then everything disintegrates into chaos.

I just think the story is really interesting. Yes, the people involved do bear personal responsibility for the things that they did, but I feel a lot of sympathy for them also just because some awful, awful person took advantage of a characteristic in them that in almost any other circumstance would be the right path to pursue.

Help Thou Mine Unbelief

It's funny, I always want to get up and bear my testimony now whenever there is a fast and testimony meeting. I think I started to become that person in the Irvine Ranch Branch and everyone seemed so reluctant to get up and bear testimonies. There was a string of about 4-6 months in a row when I would consistently do it every month. And it never felt contrived for me, like I was making up stuff. I guess I've slowly become a person that has something to say about everything now, although I'm still pretty good at keeping things to myself.

Anyway, I've been wanting to bear my testimony in this ward for the last few months, but I always feel like it's overkill to do it when I also teach a Sunday school lesson the same day. Both of my roommates got up to bear their testimonies, and I would have gotten up to bear mine, but then a dozen people got up before I decided to and we ended up finishing late as it was. And I never want to be the person that makes everyone stay late because I just had to say it.

Anyway (again), this is going to be my forum for the thoughts I would have shared today...

Recently I have been reading a lot from the gospels. I'm actually working on getting through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John before the end of the year. I guess I just kind of feel it's the appropriate season to be reading about Christ's life. Additionally, I've also been reading the General Conference edition of the Ensign.

As I've been reading recently, what I've really been impressed with is just how much hope these different sources of scripture give to me, and I just love it. I love reading the words of our modern day prophets and for whatever reason, I've been finding it really comforting to hear the specific counsel they give to guard ourselves, our thoughts, etc. I think because it reminds me that I'm not alone in my struggles, and that it's not out of the ordinary to have weaknesses and to sometimes - and maybe even frequently - feel doubt.

Last night I was reading in Mark 9, and probably just like everyone else, I love when the father of the sick girl asks Jesus to heal his daughter, and Christ says, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

I can only imagine how much that must have tugged at the heart of the Savior to hear that father's desperate and entirely humble plea to heal his daughter. Lord, I believe that you can heal my daughter, but please, help me so that it's enough that you can work a miracle for her.

There are a lot of ways in which I can express that exact same sentiment. Lord, I believe that you can:

• Help me to get through the rest of my program and build up a significant body of work to put on my resume
• Help me overcome my many, and sometimes, all too glaring personal inadequacies
  
• Help me find meaningful and relevant work
• Help me to get out of my own way so that I'm not single for the rest of my life
• Bless my family so that they can receive the gospel
• Heal my mother's/friend's broken hearts

But, please, help thou mine unbelief.

What's so wonderful about the gospel is that we are so not on our own. There is an abundance of earthly resources and people available to us to help us overcome, but more importantly, we have the Lord who is ever present and ever desirous for our success and eventual triumph over the obstacles that face us.

And I have to believe that God is always waiting and yearning for us to seek out his help in our struggles. I love the frequency of the injunction that he issues to us - ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

The blessings are there and they are available, but we need to make sure that we are doing everything we can to allow him to tip his hand and help us. Not only the asking part, but just like the father of the sick child, we need to be asking for that additional strengthening as well, and doing what we can to make our faith manifest, however small that offering may be.

Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Legion of Extraordinary Dancers

This season has been kind of weird for me and SYTYCD. Sometimes I could care less, but then a particular routine will jump out and just blow me away. I'm not really a fan of anyone in particular. They're all pretty decent. I like Kathryn just because I think she's super cute, same goes for Noelle. I think Jakob is by far the best dancer, although the other guys are all pretty good also.

Anyway, this week I just loved loved loved this routine by the dance group whose name graces the title of this post. I was looking through some of their other videos and current contestant, Legacy, actually used to be (or still is?) a member of the group. My favorite guy is the one dude doing all of the stuff on his hands who smoothly spins to a stop at the end of the routine. I just can't believe how fluid he is, and the variation he has in his speed. Just amazing. But the best part has to be the part in the middle with the perfectly synchronized martial arts moves.


As an added bonus, a friend of mine sent me the trailer for this independent film, Babies.

Arabs Also Weary of Obama

I read this interesting article this morning about how Arabs have gotten tired of Obama's oratory. I won't go into any detail about it, but I did like this excerpt:

Steeped in an overarching idea of American guilt, Mr. Obama and his lieutenants offered nothing less than a doctrine, and a policy, of American penance. No one told Mr. Obama that the Islamic world, where American power is engaged and so dangerously exposed, it is considered bad form, nay a great moral lapse, to speak ill of one's own tribe when in the midst, and in the lands, of others.

The crowd may have applauded the cavalier way the new steward of American power referred to his predecessor, but in the privacy of their own language they doubtless wondered about his character and his fidelity. "My brother and I against my cousin, my cousin and I against the stranger," goes one of the Arab world's most honored maxims. The stranger who came into their midst and spoke badly of his own was destined to become an object of suspicion.

Even in his speech on Tuesday night announcing the addition of 30,000 troops, he started off by speaking ill of President Bush and the previous foreign policy that had been employed, also refusing to acknowledge the difficult decision Bush made to endorse the original surge in the first place, and then he went on to close his speech by talking about how we need to move past partisan politics. Ridiculous.

Sleight of Hand

The Ward Historians asked for contributions from the ward members, and this was mine. Of course, me being a moron, felt like this was such a condensed form, but I never know how much people really want to know. I always feel like I have so much more to say, but I'm not sure if everyone wants to deal with the full brunt of Chris-force coming their way. Anywho...

In all of the scenarios that I had imagined for myself when I had gotten home from my mission 8 years ago, I never thought that I would be still single and still in school at 29 years old. And never did I think that I would be doing Round 2 at BYU, but someone once said the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him about your plans. In spite of the setbacks and pit-stops I have had to take along the way, I know that God’s hand is still guiding my life, and in great abundance this past year.

Currently I am finishing up the second year of a four year program in Applied Social Psychology at BYU. I am in a program that I love, that gives me valuable experience, where I get to work with professors that I have great relationships with. More importantly, in my second go-around in Provo, I feel like I have been able to establish new relationships that make me feel like are the pieces that complete the puzzle that is my life. After I first came back here from California, when I was hoping just to make some new friends, some people in the ward invited me over just to watch TV with them. It was a small gesture and required little of them, but it went so far in helping me just to feel that I wasn’t alone even though in a lot of ways I felt like I was having to start all over in finding new friends. I don’t think those people know how much that simple act meant to me.

In Matthew 7, it says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

A lot of times when I think I’m asking for bread and fish, and all I’m getting are stones and serpents. However, given the experiences that I have had, I know that the bread and fish have been coming, but I haven’t always been able to see them for what they are. The answers are there, and maybe not in the ways that I would typically expect, but I know that Heavenly Father is always there giving the good gifts, and when I have had eyes open to see, then I’ve been able to recognize the answers for what they are – His ever loving hand guiding my life.

Dating Survey

For one of my statistics classes we are doing a dating survey to try and find some factors that predict dating satisfaction. This survey is for non-married people, and if you're interested in taking it, you can do so by clicking here. It shouldn't take more than few minutes, and the results are completely anonymous. Please forward that url onto anyone else who you think might be interested in filling it out. Thanks.

My Heart Will Go On

*UPDATE - I meant to post a different clip. This one is the updated one that has an additional scene after the first one in the hospital.*

I love Elliot. I think the actress who plays her, Sarah Chalke, is just hilarious and plays the crazy side up so well. This post doesn't really have anything to do with the clip. I just happened to be watching the episode last night and I thought both of those parts were really funny, and I love that someone combined the two.

No, what this post about is resiliency. Sometimes it surprises me. A friend of mine was asking around the other day about whether anyone would be willing to throw his/her kid off of a cliff for a million dollars, and you could absolutely guarantee the safety of the child. I said absolutely, and actually everyone she asked said the same thing, and her husband and I had the same response - kids are remarkably resilient, much more than we ever give them credit for, and if you know that the kid is going to be safe, then you may as well just take the money. They'll get over the betrayed trust part later, especially when that kid is enjoying the million dollars too.

In fact, there have been a number of studies that suggest that kids are resilient even in the face of pretty serious abuse, but the findings fly in the face of what you'd normally expect, and what happens is that journals won't publish the work because it's too controversial. People thought that if they published those findings, that some might use that as an excuse to worry less about child abuse, which is valid. True story. Anyway, kids, and people in general, are very resilient.

I was thinking about this the other day as I was searching through some of my old emails for what, I can't event remember now, but I came across one of my old emails to a girl that I had several years invested in. (This is a sidenote, but do you want to know who the best pen pal in the world is? It's me. If I feel like you're at all interested in me or what I have to say, I am uh-may-zing when it comes to correspondence.) But I was just reading the email and it was, as you can certainly imagine, so long-winded and incredibly detailed. I forgot until I was reading that email that I would spend at least two or more hours every Tuesday night writing her while she was serving her mission, and I did that for the duration of her mission. Never missed a week.

Reading that email got me thinking about all of the history that I had with that girl, about the fact that I thought my life began and ended with her. If things weren't going to work out with her, I just saw no other way of going on with life. Not that I was suicidal ever, but it was like outside of her, the only thing I could see was blank space, if that makes any sense.

About a week before she left on her mission, we were just sitting around at my house listening to music, and we were for the most part feeling a lot of happy feelings that night. Then Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes came on and I started singing it to her, and when I got to the part where he says, "and this emptiness fills my heart," I just burst into tears. Everything that I had been trying to push to the side came to the surface and spilled out of my eyes, and then she pulled me over, sat me on her lap, rubbed my back, and started crying with me.

We have easily hundreds, and maybe thousands, of just the sweetest memories together. While we were together, she was my best friend. She didn't know me better than Dave, but I certainly gave myself over to her more than anyone else in my life. And when things ended with her, each time it happened, I just felt the worst kind of pain, and it was so prolonged too. I thought it would never end.

I don't know. I guess it was just weird last week, reading that email, thinking about the memories I had with her, how hard it was to get over her, and think that it almost feels like I'm looking at another person's life when I think about that time. I just feel so removed from all of that now, to where there is no sense of loss when it comes to her, or that I somehow missed the only chance I would have at happiness. It was weird to think that there was this person and this relationship that I had so much invested in, and now I can look back on it and not feel a thing, at least none of what made it so difficult. Reading that email may as well have been like reading about events in some history book.

And that's what amazed me about how resilient we can be. People can, and must, learn to deal with grief and loss all the time. Sometimes it comes in more tragic and devastating ways than others, but in the same way that time can feel so brutally slow when you're in the middle of everything and just want to leave the pain of the present all behind, it is also miraculous in how it allows us to heal and soften the memories of difficulty to where it goes from feeling acute, to opaque, to simply an event from the past that served to shape the present. Time, coupled with the Atonement, provides everything that's necessary to heal. It's amazing to think about how that actually works. It's real.

And I'm really glad that's the case.

A Nice Little Weekend

I didn't realize until too late, but the top 5 finishers for each division for the Earn Your Turkey run on Thanksgiving day get either a turkey, pie, or ribbon. I finished 6th in my division. Dang. I was less than a minute behind the 5th place guy too, but the problem I've been having this last month is my lateral meniscus, diagnosed by Dave, so I have been running a lot less. Still though, I wish I would have known that I could have won a turkey, and I might have been feeling a little more competitive and run a little harder.

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day, though. We got up in the morning to go bunny hunting. We had several twelve-gauge shotguns, a twenty-gauge, a .357, and an assault rifle to boot. Unfortunately, we went to an area that seemed to have a little too much human foot traffic so we didn't see many bunnies, probably about 4-5 between the 5 of us in about 3 hours of walking around. Sadly, for one bunny, we did catch sight of him and blew him to pieces. I thought I would feel a little bad when we finally killed one because I'm also the guy who actually feels bad when he unwittingly steps on snails, but I forgot that I'm also the same kid who used to go out hunting birds with his bb gun as a kid. The formula we had yesterday was pretty wonderful - guy time with my friends who I think are hilarious and guns. What's not to like, right? My favorite line of the day came when Dave was driving his dad's S-class Mercedes on the dirt road and he says, "my worst fear is driving over some rock and blowing out a tire...scratch that, my worst fear is this car fills up with bees and you're trying to kill them using a chainsaw." I thought that was the funniest thing in the world.

I also went to my first ever Holy War game yesterday at home against the U. I'm surprised how easy it was to come by tickets. After we got ours, I knew at least four other people who were giving theirs up. It must have been the fact that it was Thanksgiving weekend that made it so easy. In any case, the game was pretty interesting. I forget until I watch sports with other people, but I have a very low tolerance for stupid comments about the game and this happens with an incredible frequency at BYU games. I couldn't believe the tension that could be felt from the other fans when BYU found themselves down by six points in the first quarter. And then everyone is ready to turn on their team at the drop of a hat. It's kind of unreal. I hate hate hate comments about refs stealing a game, or that the other team is paying them off, or whatever other inane comments people come up with. And then there are the people who think that every rushing play should be for a first down, every passing play should be for a touchdown, or that every defensive play should turn into a turnover or a tackle for a loss. Seriously? It's not the end of the world if we have to punt, and if we're only down by six points, it's still only a one possession game.

In any case, the game was fun. It ended up being closer than it probably needed to be, but they won in exciting fashion. I almost preferred them to win in overtime because it would have felt a little hollow if they won because Utah missed a field goal or something like that. As soon as both those Utah guys missed the tackle, everyone in the stadium realized the game was over and the place just blew up. It was pretty great. People started rushing the field, and wondering if I'd ever have another chance to do it myself, I decided to go down also. It was kind of funny, though, because once you got there then it was like, well now what? So I went to the middle of the field, slapped some of the football players on the back, was in the crowd that was floating Andrew George, the guy who caught the game winning touchdown, then I wandered off. I thought maybe I should look around for other people I know because I knew there were about a dozen or so other friends of mine at the game, but eventually I just took off.

There's been a lot of Mason time, lots of eating out, and lots of Rock Band. And I got Beatles Rock Band just for this weekend. Who knew that so many of those songs would be in my range? My favorite to sing is the Sgt. Pepper's/With A Little Help from my friends medley.

That was pretty much my weekend. I love these people. Truly, I'm so blessed.

Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation

I just thought I'd post this Thanksgiving Proclamation given by Abraham Lincoln. Did you know that it wasn't declared a national holiday until his tenure as President? Well, that's the truth. I'm not going to cut and paste the whole thing even though it's pretty short, but here is a nice excerpt from it:

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggressions, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the most high God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United Stated States to be affixed.

PRESIDENT LINCOLN'S THANKSGIVING DAY PROCLAMATION, OCTOBER 3, 1863.

Nevermind, that is the whole thing. You know what I love most about it? How abundantly he references God throughout it. Can an American President get away with that today? Probably not, and that's so sad to me.

Happy Thanksgivings!

Thanksgiving day run - check. It was pretty cold, but it really wasn't that bad. I hurt something in my knee a few weeks ago so I've been, for the most part, staying away from running so I couldn't get too competitive this morning, but I still finished the four miles in under 30 minutes. It was nice to have Dave and Mike come out and run, and I kind of love the t-shirt, which I'll be sporting all day.

So what's left for the day? Overindulgence, mainly. A nap. Mason time. Maybe go watch The Blind Side tonight. I've got a full plate, so to speak.

And what am I grateful for...the people in my life. That's always at the top of my list. For a loving Father in Heaven. For a healthy physical body that allows me to do most anything I want. For music. For the opportunities I have. For this website that we all spent about several hours on last night taking quizzes together. And for this one that has helped me to enhance my glide, which I've been getting pretty decent with.

Happy Thanksgiving, dearhearts! Enjoy!

He's Just Not That Into You

Guys and girls of a certain age know how to show interest. They just do. I don't really know what girls do. Sometimes I feel like I get a pretty good read on girls, but then something goes awry and I'm at a total loss. However, I am a guy and I sure as hell know what guys do - we ask out girls on dates.

I'm pretty sure that it's impossible for a guy to be a member of the church of the Mormons, over the age of 25, actively participating, and not know that when he's interested in a girl, he has to ask her out on dates. Seriously. As often as they mention home teaching in Elders Quorum, the leadership in the church advocates that we go out on dates. In my ward we currently have a dating and relationships class as one of the options in Sunday school. For our ward conference, the priesthood meeting was dominated by discussion about loneliness and how it's the number one concern of our stake presidency, and how guys just simply aren't asking girls out enough on dates. The girls I know in the relief society presidency in my ward have told me that the biggest complaint they encounter is how the sisters don't go out on enough dates. Every one here knows that when you are interested in someone, you go out on dates. Dating dating dating! That's what much of the focus is on for the young single adults in these parts.

Then I guess the question is what constitutes a date. Elder Oaks mentioned the three P's criteria - planned, paid for, and paired off. I think I would have to also add that it be on one of the money nights - Friday or Saturday. No, lunch dates don't count. Guys would go out on a lunch date with that sister from their mission that they secretly thought was hot, but were terrified of spending too much time with for fear that they would get along too well with said sister (did I have one? You better believe it. Oh, Hermana Church! We had such chemistry on the mission when nothing could ever happen, but lunch at Rosa's when we were both home was SO incredibly awkward! I learned my lesson. Don't go out with sister missionaries from your own mission, but we'll always have Quilicura!).

This is what a lunch date is to a guy - a low commitment atmosphere that only requires about an hour, little thought (where's a good place to eat? Del Taco? done!), and is typically just an opportunity to put feelers out there. It's kind of like how in research they do exploratory studies to determine if there is something really worth investigating, only with a lunch date a guy knows he wants at least an hour with the girl, but he is not quite sure if he wants to devote an entire evening to her that requires both more time and more money. Voila! The perfect solution! A lunch date.

No, my friends, it's all about an actual date that is on one of the money nights, Friday or Saturday, because those are the nights with the real payoff. A week night counts if it's something truly awesome, or schedules are such that all attempts have been made for a Friday or Saturday night, but it just won't work, then you settle for a week night. But everyone in the whole world knows that all the events that you are really looking forward to come on the weekend. It's like that for everyone. No exceptions.

If a guy is interested, busy doesn't count as an excuse. Even if a guy is working two jobs and going to school full time and he's putting in 12-14 hour days, if he's interested in someone, he will set aside a Friday night (and work on Saturday if he has to, and maybe even Sunday) and go out with the girl who has piqued (or is it peek? or peak?...Karen ;) his interest. The shyest guys without any dating experience even do this.

If a guy is interested, even distance doesn't count as an excuse. Provided you are reciprocating, he will shower you with attention even when he's out with other people and never hesitate to respond to your prodding. Texting is an amazing (and annoying) invention that allows for this display of affection.

When a guy is interested, there is always time and there are always resources. Always always always. Even the President of the United States can find time to go to a party or a banquet. You're telling me that just because finals are in two weeks and he's feeling really stressed that he can't find a few hours on a Friday night to spend some time wooing you? I'm sorry. Is he the leader of the free world? Is there a war on terrorism with multiple fronts that he's managing while trying to push through major health care reform? If the President can party, a guy who's interested can party.

EVERYONE saves Friday or Saturday to do something fun. EVERYONE. If he's not spending it with you, I can assure you he's not at the library studying. I worked library security at the HBLL as an undergrad, and I did some of those weekend night shifts. The only people there until close on weekend nights are employees. That's it.

What time does everyone value the most? Okay, don't give me that cliche answer. Outside of church, what time? Weekend night time. If he, or she, is not spending the time that is most valuable to them with you, then they're spending it with someone else. And it's not something else.

This is way too long, but you can take all that to the bank.

I wanted something more relevant from this movie, but I love this clip mostly because the guys are using each other as stand-ins for girls so here it is. If you have any questions, read the book and then call me in the morning.

Bit O' Everything

I had kind of a great weekend. Friday night I went to Velour, a local little live music venue where they were having a Cowboys and Indie music festival over the weekend. Imagine Dragons was the headliner on Friday, and I caught those guys before seeing Kelly Clarkson back in June. They actually won the Utah's Got Talent competition. They're an indie band from Las Vegas, did the Provo scene, and are now trying to strike it big. They're a pop-rock type band. The lead singer is very entertaining, and their music is really fun to dance to. Here's a taste:



Then Saturday morning my roommate took another friend and myself out flying. We were in a little 4-passenger plane, and flew over whatever these mountains here are called, over Hobble Creek, near Mount Timponogas, and just around the general vicinity. My roommate hardly ever mentions it to anybody, but I think it's the coolest thing to be able to do. He has a pilot's license and has access to a plane. Isn't that awesome? He let me take the controls for a bit. It was a ton of fun.

I've said this before, but don't you love those people in your life that you think, "wow, I would have just died tonight if so and so weren't around." I feel so lucky to think that I have so many of those kinds of people to count on.

This might come as a huge surprise, but I really place high value on time to think and reflect, but especially so when I'm engaged in some sort of physical task. I love running and not listening to music for that reason - just the me time and time to think. But in addition to that, I think there is something highly therapeutic about just getting on your knees and cleaning. Speaking of missionaries knocking on doors, President Faust used to say, "I know it's not the most effective method for finding people, but knocking on doors is good for the soul." I think getting grimy and dirty is good for the soul in a similar sense.

It's funny to me how representative people can be of their own gender. I was cleaning the kitchen (I guess I've been doing a lot of that lately) the other night, and my roommate suggested soaking the metal gratings from our stove top because they were dirty. I asked him if we had any all-purpose cleaner left, and he had no idea that sort of thing existed. Then I was making brownies, and another roommate saw me using shortening and flour to grease the pan and he had no clue what I was doing. Then I borrowed a vacuum from some girls down the street, and the one girl commented on how it doesn't really suck up very much, but that we could use it anyway. I turn it on this morning, and not only is the vacuum screaming loud, but the bag is beyond full. I don't feel like I'm particularly enlightened, but these incidents the last few days have kind of made me feel that way.

Earn Your Turkey!

Anybody else interested in a Thanksgiving day run? There is the Earn Your Turkey Thanksgiving Day run in Orem. 4 miles, starts at 8am, registration is $27 and can be found by clicking here.

You want to do it. Trust me. It makes justifying overindulging yourself so much easier.

Yes, I'm registered. And you get a long-sleeve shirt. Woo!

Dave S. Preston, Esquire!

Not only has this guy graduated from law school, but he passed the bar too! It's a Thanksgiving miracle! You have no idea how much he stressed over the bar results that were released yesterday, but no need now. It's a official. He's a suitor!

Bro, good job, bro! Next week will be the most fun-filled Thanksgiving ever.

Odds And Ends

So I guess this video below served as some of the inspiration behind the concept of the show Glee.



I'm no Gleek yet, but I've seen a couple of shows and it's actually pretty funny. There are a few things that bother me about it, but they're the subtle kinds of statements that the show makes that I am inclined to read into.

My roommate got Wii Fit, and so far I broke all of his records on there except for the ski jump. He's kind of a goofy guy because he loves talking trash even if he's not always in a position to do so, and I don't think I normally would get competitive about this sort of thing, but his need to tough talk fuels my competitive fire. So I broke his record earlier this week, and then he took it back the next day. I was going to let it go until last night when he made a point of telling me that he put some distance between the top score and my own. So how did I react? I waited until he went to bed, then I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. last night not only breaking his record, but then scoring so high and often that his name doesn't even appear on the top 10 list anymore. How's that for idiocy? And I did that in spite of still having to prep for today's stats lab that I had to teach that started at 8:30 a.m. That's the kind of person that writes this blog.

Amazingly enough, I have no plans in the near future to go see New Moon. I only saw Twilight a few months ago, and I have to say that seeing Bella on screen reminded me how much I dislike her character. Why would dreamy Edward ever want such a desperate high school girl? I don't care if her scent drives him crazy. You know what drives me crazy? Stupid girl that is overly dramatic that has no confidence in the love that the people around her have for her. At least this film looks like they spent a few more dollars on the budget, so it shouldn't be as bad as the first one. Hopefully.

In SYTYCD news, I have really been anti-Ashleigh and Legacy for most of this season, but they've actually been pretty impressive the last couple weeks. The hip hop number that started the show was really, really good. I really liked Travis' contemporary routine, and it was danced pretty well, but you know what bothered me about it? Ryan's body is just TOO big. It looks awkward because it's just way too bulky. He is nimble for such a big guy, but his is not a dancer's physique. He should be a bouncer or something. Like I said before, I haven't really cared much for his wife, Ashleigh, but she's been really good the last couple of weeks and I love her arms. I thought she looked really good, and really, her arms are pretty perfect, and she danced it really well. Jakob is super gay, so I don't relate with him all that much, but that guy can dance. He's been outstanding in everything so far. He's the best, in my opinion. I was hoping for more out of the Nathan and Mollee piece. They heaped praise on them, but I didn't think they were that great, and I'm a big Nathan fan. Anyway...



That's about all I gots for now. Have a great weekend, dear ones!

Awesome Commercial Actor

This is a commercial that's currently running:


You might remember him from this commercial from a couple years ago:


I kind of love the guy, that's all.

Nothing (Police) Beats This Column

Nov 11: A custodian reported an unidentified male depositing possibly hazardous material in a drain. Samples of the material were taken and the material was determined to be safe.

Nov 13: At 5:30 p.m. a woman was walking up Maeser Hill to the testing center when a Latino male walked up behind her, asked her the time, then grabbed her buttocks. The suspect then ran westbound on the path and the female began chasing him. The suspect then stopped., turned around, and yelled obscenities at the victim. The female reported the incident to the police two and a half hours later, after she took the test.

Please, Provo citizens, get in before dark and make sure to lock your doors behind you because you never know what could happen.

Oh Yeah!

Dear Me,

Something about the time between Sunday and Monday left you feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it was tithing settlement and the Bishop's well-intended, but sometimes too direct approach with talking about dating and marriage. I know that you've been out on a few dates recently, and his pep-talk ended up making you feel like you need to decide now if you want to marry one of these girls or not, but that's not the case. You can get to know someone without having to decide within a few conversations whether you'll spend the rest of eternity with that person or not. There's nothing wrong with that. Or maybe it was the combination of conversations yesterday with another student in your cohort and then your committee chair that made you feel daunted by the task of your thesis. Or maybe it's just that you're feeling like you're in a spiritual lull lately and wondering why it feels like your reception for hearing the spirit is a little fuzzy. It's probably a mixture of all of those things.

Here's the thing you need to remember: you know how to get things done and you've done some really great things. Remember how you wanted to start regularly flossing and to stop biting your fingernails? Once you decided you wanted to do those things, then BOOM! Now your teeth are extra clean and your nails are trimmed and not scratchy. Remember how you wanted to start keeping detailed notes on all of your expenses and attempt to live within a prescribed budget? Well, okay, so you're not all the way there yet, but you're figuring that one out too. Those may seem like small things, but you've done bigger things too.

Remember when you joined the church and you were so worried about enduring to the end? I don't think you ever openly admitted that to anyone ever in your life, but that actually was the biggest concern that you had when you were baptized almost 12 years ago. It's kind of weird that as a 17 year old high school senior, that that was actually something that kept you up at night, but soon you figured out that you just had to take things one day at a time and not let the rest of your life overwhelm you before it had even happened.

Remember how worried you were about serving a mission and being able to stay focused and work hard for the entire two years and not just waste your time, or the Lord's time, for that matter? The length of time and amount of work didn't really hit you until you actually got into the country, but remember how daunting it seemed? Then you read that scripture in 3 Ne 13:34 - Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof - and that last phrase changed everything for you. You thought about it all morning while out proselyting, came back from lunch, went straight to your room and knelt down in prayer and just committed to just worry about today and let the Lord take care of the rest of your mission, and that's exactly what happened.

Remember how you came back home from your first year at BYU, and you had decided that you would go into psychology, so you talked to that professor at UCI about what it would take to get into the field, and instead of encouraging you, he actually tried to talk you out of pursuing graduate work? You thought, "to hell with that guy!" and then took everything everyone told you about what it would take to get into grad school to heart, laid out a careful plan for EVERYTHING grad school related, and then you got into 8 of the 9 schools you applied to, when statistics actually show that most people only get 1 or 2 offers out of 10.

Remember that Sunday when you decided that you were going to run a marathon? It was at a regional conference for church, and the thought had been floating around your mind for some time, but then some talk about Sabbath day observance mentioned the word marathon and you couldn't think about anything else after that. Then while still in the conference you texted three people who you thought might commit to running it with you, and they were all lukewarm, but you decided to commit anyway. You started reading about it, you bought your entry 7 months in advance, and even had a plan in place well ahead of the 18 week training program that you had outlined leading up to the day of the marathon. Then you had that first "long" run on the first Saturday of Week 1, and you realized that you had never run more than 6 miles at a time in your entire life, and then you couldn't get yourself out the door and moving for two whole hours because you felt so overwhelmed with getting to the point of being able to run a marathon. But then you just got out and moving and less than an hour later you were done. And 18 weeks later you finished the whole damn thing.

So listen...it's okay sometimes to feel a little overwhelmed by life. Everyone has their moments, and you know that you've had yours. The bad part isn't having those feelings of anxiety in the first place, it's letting them prevent you from accomplishing what great things you know you can do and that you know you're supposed to do. Remember, this is when you love Nephi's faith the most - his brothers were complaining and probably just really worried about where their journeys were taking them and leaving their whole lives behind, and Nephi chastises them saying:

Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us, in delivering us out of the hands of Laban, and also that we should obtain the record? Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him. And if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise...

You have a couple of promised lands that you're looking for, so just do what you know you need to do - come up with a meticulous plan for accomplishing your goals like you always do and then just get to work. You know how to get things done, so stop stewing and get started. And don't forget this gem from Nephi when his brothers were mocking him for trying to build a ship when he had never even lived near the shore before:

And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done. And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?

The things that you want to do are righteous endeavors. You know that God is on your side, rooting for you every step of the way, and with him, nothing is impossible - not even a thesis, or dating and marriage, or regaining spiritual receptivity, or anything else you can come up with.

And remember Paul's counsel to the Romans:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose...What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

So get to work. You know what you need to do and what it takes. Go. Make it so that the laborer is worthy of his hire.

Mason Jennings - In The Venue

It was my privilege on Saturday to go see Mason Jennings perform at In The Venue. With my recent concert experiences I've been thinking a lot lately about how music is really meant to be heard live, in person. Obviously you can still really enjoy listening to recordings, but the experience of hearing music being played live is just different, much more tangible.

I went and saw him last year soon after he released his album, In The Ever, and so based on my two experiences with him, it seems to be customary for him to draw heavily from his most recent album in his performances. I guess this is his first tour even bringing an electric guitar. Last year he played about half of his set on just his acoustic guitar, without the rest of his band even on stage, so it was fun to see him rock out a little more this year. He alternated between electric and acoustic songs, and threw in a good mix of some of his other popular songs including Be Here Now, Crown, Jackson Square, Ballad For My One True Love, New Man, Bullet, and Butterfly.

The whole set lasted for about 90 minutes, and he came out for two encores. One of my favorite parts of the show was when he came out for his first encore and covered The Band's song The Weight, and having all four band members sing a verse from the song. That seemed to be a crowd-pleaser as everyone in the audience cheered heartily each time a different band member sang, seemingly surprised every time - or maybe that was just me. I loved it though.

The feel for this kind of concert is very different from what I'm used to with my usual punk show selection. With those ones the music is loud and fast, and it's easy to get swept up with the whole crowd. This one is a lot more relaxing, a good concert for a date.

This is Mason performing Jackson Square:

BYU Berlin Lecture - Dr. Lynn Hansen

On my post from Monday about the 20th anniversary of the Berlin wall celebrations, an anonymous commenter asked that I post whatever notes I could, so this is my best attempt at complying with that request. I didn't actually take notes, so this is to the best of my recollection.

Dr. Hansen's remarks centered largely around allowing the Lord to take you wherever it is that he wants you to go. That seems to be a theme that I've been hearing lately, as I was able to attend a different faculty forum later in the week where the professor's message was very similar.

He started out in the Air Force, and I can only assume that he served his mission for the church in Germany, because he had so much familiarity with the language and the culture. He recounted stories about his run-ins with the Soviets who occupied East Germany, and one encounter that he had while trying to help an East German citizen smuggle her brother across the border, only to see him taken away by Soviet law enforcement.

The main thrust of his remarks had to do with the familiarity he developed with the Russian armament system while serving the armed forces over in Germany. He applied for a few jobs with government agencies before eventually being picked up by one that dealt directly with the Russians, which eventually led to the negotiations that he took part in that helped to broker a reduction in arms between the former USSR and the USA.

Because of some promptings that he had about pursuing certain programs that had been largely set aside, and his extensive experience through the years in coming to understand how the Soviets functioned militarily, he was able to negotiate a hard-line stance with the Russians that forced them to negotiate down to the parameters that the US had set. What was even more impressive was that for the deals to go through that he helped to broker, it required also the approval of other allies, including Spain and Italy, which would have proved daunting for anyone else, but because of the familiarity that those representatives had with Dr. Hansen, and their understanding of his stalwart character, they signed off on the deals that he had negotiated.

When I write about that now, it seems as if he spoke in very self-aggrandizing tones, but this was not the feeling that came across as he lectured. What he communicated about himself and his role in everything that happened was that he was simply an agent in the Lord's hands, that God was able to work through in order to help bring about his ends.

Another thing that I appreciated about this lecture is how much of it seems to be in conjunction with President Reagan's stance with the Soviets: while so many people in the state department and in his cabinet thought it was absurd for Reagan to believe that he could defeat communism, they thought a policy of containment was the only realistic possibility. Reagan always believed that our country was in the right, and that through his foreign policy, he could make the Soviets kowtow to the American agenda. Dr. Hansen acted in perfect concert with Reagan's own personal policies on the matter, and was probably one of many pieces that helped bring about the fall of communism, which included the collapse of the Berlin wall.

After his time in public service, Dr. Hansen was called to church service as mission president over in Germany, and just last June finished up another mission following his time as mission president wherein he collected oral histories from German saints. Of all the time and accomplishments that he was able to achieve, he was most proud of what he was able to help bring about in the service of the Lord.

I'm definitely short-changing you on the details and the feeling that Dr. Hansen communicated, but hopefully that gives you a sense of the charmed experience that he had in Germany.