Davies Fall Out

This whole Brandon Davies thing has been really interesting. There has been tons of media attention on BYU and the Honor Code, and it has implications on the impressions that people form about the Church. You know what was really cool? This morning sitting in a meeting with one of the higher-ups in the Public Affairs Committee discussing this particular issue and what it means for the Church. It's fun working up here.

It's interesting what this does for public perception of the Church. My suspicion is that if you ask most Evangelicals what the Church should have done, they would have said, "let the kid play ball." Their view is probably one that argues more heavily for mercy than for justice, for grace over consequences. Our Church just happens to have a different conception of what is entailed in Christian doctrine.

It means not only holding ourselves to a high standard, but being accountable to that standard. Hopefully the fall-out over this drama will help the university and the Church to also learn how to emphasize the compassionate side as well, because out in the media wasteland all anyone is talking about is how the law is being applied too harshly, but bravo for sticking to our standards.

I don't know. It's an interesting topic though, no?

With that kiddos, have a good weekend! And this song has been in my head all this morning.
People are making all sorts of attributions, but I'm not sure that anyone has any firsthand knowledge about what actually transpired, how it came about

A Gleek No More

Everyone has his/her things, right? I'm talking about members of our Church. A person will take a hard-line stance on a particular issue, say, R-rated movies and swear off of them and speak vehemently against them because our Church leaders have said simply, we do not watch R-rated movies.

And then that's it.

We'll go ahead and watch other things of questionable morality because Church leaders haven't explicitly stated, do not watch such and such. Left to our own devices, a lot of times we miss the mark. We keep the letter, but not the spirit of the law. Often we have those two things confused. We think that the letter is harsher than the spirit. It's not. The spirit is always more strict. For example, the letter says don't watch R-rated movies, but the spirit would indicate, don't watch anything of questionable morality, right?

I'm not perfect with that particular law. I had no restrictions growing up and so I was really used to just watching any ol' movie I felt like. Then I got to BYU and met a whole world of people who never watched any R-rated movies and I thought that was such a revelation. Good for them, and now good for me too! I reformed, didn't watch anything and was off serving in the vineyard called Chile.

Since then I've been off and on. I think more on than off. To be honest, it had a lot to do with who I was dating at the time, although there was a period of several years when I wasn't dating anyone and I held hard and fast to that rule. Now I'm on, and that has a lot to do with Amy's influence, but I think on my own I'd be pretty steady in this area. But every so often now, I'll let certain things in from time to time. (Example: I saw 127 hours. It was really good, but awfully graphic. Anyway...)

I'm getting away from my main point. Last year I let myself get into Glee because it was fun. They had cool performances, clever writing, and some cute characters, but at the beginning of the Fall season, I just got so turned off to it. Kurt became too central to the show's plot, Finn was constantly villainized, and I just hated it. I deleted it from my DVR.

Then a week or so ago I was stretching post-run in my room, and I'll always turn on the TV while I'm just sitting there, and Glee happened to be on so I thought I'd give it another chance. It was an episode about alcohol awareness and the whole cast was getting drunk, and the theme basically centered on how no one in the world could ever be expected to abstain completely, so try and be wise about when and where you do it. It boiled my blood.

I just can't stand this show. It's not just the same-sex issues. It's not just about the show's rampant promiscuity. It is pretty much everything about it. The show just seems to cut against the grain of anything and everything that we as Church members believe in. It makes me wonder how I can draw a strict line when it comes to the movies I'll watch, and then let this garbage on through just because there isn't an explicit declaration about TV-MA type shows.

What bothers me most about the show is that it has such an obvious target audience. Whether we think so or not, we are subtly influence by every message that is thrown our way. It comes through in what we see, hear, and read. And I guess this show is so irksome to me because it is supplying our youth, and ourselves, with false impressions of what is really valuable. It lowers our values and commitments to sacred principles. I guess it just bothers me because it subverts so much of what is supposed to be so valuable to us, and it aims primarily at kids who are so impressionable.

I hate coming off as self-righteous about this because I know that there is so much that I do wrong, but this is one thing that I know I can cut out. If you watch it, please don't. Let's not invest our time and attention into supporting something that doesn't agree with our standards. It's garbage, and will only hold us back. For a time I let myself get caught up in it too, but I'm done with that now. This is one less thing on my list of a million things to work on. If it isn't one of yours yet, please make it so now.

Viva, Las Vegas!

Nobody took pictures. I'm sure that's appalling to Amy and the rest of the Waltons, but I promise you, it's not that uncommon for a lot of people. We still went, I promise.

Let's see, here's the brief recap: Arrive Friday afternoon to have lunch at Hash House A Go Go (not sure where all the hyphens are in there, so I'll leave it alone). Several of us had chicken and waffles, while two of those several decided not to let the other two know that one plate is probably big enough for three full-sized adults. A couple of the guys had to finish up some work so that afternoon we just kind of hung out in what turned out to be a massive suite on the top floor of the Flamingo.

We slept 8 very comfortably, and it could have probably been about 20-25 pretty comfortably. We went bowling at the Gold Coast Casino which features 60 bowling lanes. I was pretty on from the start, bowling 151 and then 195. While I'm pleased that my bowling is consistent, I'd like to break 200 again really soon. I keep getting on the precipice, but I refuse to go over for some reason.

Dinner that night=pizza=pretty satisfied, for both dinner and breakfast the next day, and maybe a pre-sushi snack the next day. Some people might think that's gross, but I think it's kind of awesome.

Some of the guys hit the dollar blackjack tables, and some of us just kind of wandered back and forth watching the other guys play. Gambling is so funny to me. I can definitely see the appeal, but I get too easily addicted to things, plus I don't think I'm risk averse enough to not do my bank account some pretty serious damage. Looks fun though.

I went for a run on the strip Saturday morning. Know what? Turns out, running the strip at 8am is probably one of my favorite runs. I was going to go out and run 20 minutes out, and then 20 minutes back, but it was so interesting to me that I just kept on going. Ran for an hour which is about 7-8 miles for me. Running the strip in the morning is awesome for the following reasons, A) it's basically empty at 8am, B) there are walkways over all of the roads so you never really have to stop, C) Vegas, for all of the traffic and general dirtiness (especially at night) is actually a pretty darn clean place during the day, and D) there are so many visual sights that it's easy to just look at everything without even realizing you're running. Plus, there are lots of stairs and TONS of other people are out running in the morning. It was just nice, and a good way to tour the interesting parts of the city.

We caught the BYU/SDSU game at the Bellagio sports book. I didn't have the unerring faith that Mike Reid had, but the Cougars pulled it out with a really impressive victory. Hopefully that is a sign of things to come during the Madness to come.

Afterward, I bought Risk (not entirely sure what inspired that) and we played a couple of games back at the hotel. None of us could really remember how the setup, or how exactly to play, so our first game was unusually short and our second game was unusually long, but it was a lot of fun. Dave was the winner* of Game 1 and I was the Game 2 winner*. We took a break in Game 2 to get sushi at one of our favorite places. It was wonderful, but as is always the case with these all-you-can-eat places, I had WAY too much sushi. It was all good stuff this time, fortunately, but just too much.

More than anything, I just love my friends. My guy friends from home are just awesome and funny, and more loyal than you could ever imagine. They're smart, fun, and just good-hearted people. I think I am the luckiest person to have the people that are in my life.

*Games 1 & 2 can only loosely be called Risk since the variations involved created a lot of distortion from the true version.

Gender Differences

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

That comes from the Proclamation to the World on the Family put out by the Church 15 years ago. While in California, I had an interesting conversation with Amy about some of the work I'm doing up here. I was listening to some interviews and some people expressed dismay over why the Church doesn't do more to support the Girl Scouts like it does the Boy Scouts. (Turns out, it has a lot to do with the platforms that the Girls Scouts supports, namely that it is an advocate of same-sex political positions. I didn't know that when we were talking about it then, however. I only just found that out a second ago after looking it up.)

Anyway, the conversation turned toward how some people were upset about how the Girl Scouts don't offer all the same activities and program that the Boy Scouts do, and there is something wrong with that. Amy was advocating that there are some really great things about being female, but that it's a hard concept to explain to some people, and particularly those with different values, namely, equality in every respect of the world at the expense of disregarding those unique characteristics .

I like that line from the Proclamation on the Family. I think that was part of the problem with Sister Julie Beck's talk in conference a few years ago about Mothers Who Know. People didn't like how much it pigeon-holed women into the role of mothers. I don't really want to get into the particulars of that talk, however.

I mention all of this because I came across this article on ESPN about a young man who chose not to wrestle a young woman in the state championship. I'm assuming that the guilty parties misspoke when they were trying to explain their reasoning, or maybe they've just been misrepresented by the writer. The writer points out that if it was to preserve the girl's safety, then they are flawed in their reasoning. This is what the father of the boy said about the incident:

"We believe in the elevation and respect of woman," the father told the Des Moines Register, "and we don't think that wrestling a woman is the right thing to do. Body slamming and takedowns -- full contact sport is not how to do that."

I think that's a different point than what Reilly was getting at. There are some fundamental differences between men and women. This wasn't about discrediting a woman's wrestling abilities, or whether she can take a beating, but it seems more just about wanting to preserve the sanctity of a woman by not competing against her in what is intended to be a violent sport.

I don't really have the time now to fully articulate my thoughts, but I'm just going to let that sit and percolate with you for a bit. This is mostly about how people pass judgment on others assuming that they are operating from the same value systems as their own. This point is central to the debate about same-sex issues. and this is also at the heart of this instance as well.

Just thinking out loud.

Home Is Wherever I'm With You

Have you guys seen this?

Adorable, right? One of my old roommates would play that song every night. Every night. I miss that guy.

Here's the recap:

Home was quite a whirlwind trip. Amy got her dress. Somehow I got a tuxedo. We didn't find ties, but I think we've got a potential source. There were lots of games, fittings, and Mexican Coca Cola. I ran 8 miles on Saturday and it was just PERFECT outside. Just perfect. I can't believe how much I love running down there. I'm excited for running season to come up again. Yup, I'm there. The weather was cool, it rained a lot on our drive down, and a little while we were there, but in spite of not being typical Southern California weather, it was still better than everything that was had here in Utah. I love the Reids. My dad and his wife were incredibly generous with everything over the weekend. My mom is a sweetheart. And I think I want to steal Mason. And Kathryn (sp?) too. So cute. And the boys, Ryan and Tyler. Those little guys are just fun. Ryan has achieved self-awareness and now gets embarrassed about things. My niece is also really cute. Maybe just all kids are cute.

Vegas is coming up this weekend, and Amy has her bridal shower.

If you know of anyone that wants us to move into their place for freezies, we're all ears. Or if we could even just be pointed to a decent place in Pleasant Grove, that would be nice too. Or anywhere for that matter. That's been kind of an issue lately. That's all for now. Much love.

Coming Home

This song seems appropriate for this weekend:

This morning I was doing some reading and marveling to myself how amazing language is. The thought came up as I was reading about stress and how it affects our physiology blah blah blah, but I noticed a missing quotation mark, and it just blew my mind - not only can someone whom I've never met communicate to me really complex ideas, but if that person happens to be a good writer, I can also understand the nuances, subtleties, tones, and the like with every well-placed punctuation mark or correctly chosen word. It's amazing, isn't it?

You know what else is nice? I could not be one iota/unit/quantity/bit/other-vague-term-of-measurement more content with my situation in life. I have an amazing fiancee, single friends, couple friends, married friends, family, prospective family and I just can't believe how fortunate I am to have the people I know in my life. I have awesome work/school/professional opportunities. There is just a lot to be grateful for and excited about.

Tell the world I'm coming home.

Gas Is Expensive

I wonder when the rising cost of gasoline will start to become an issue again, and how President Obama will react to the surge in prices. Some of this may have to do with the furious printing being done by the US Treasury. I wonder if any of this has to do with the sudden instability in Egypt and what that is doing about speculation as it relates to the unrest that is generally occurring in the Middle East. President Bush opened up the moratorium on drilling and gases prices responded quickly, but will Obama do the same? Or will he push for the alternative energy that he's so fond of? Anyway, found it on this pretty cool website, here.

What Time Is It? Valentime's!

When I'm conducting quorum meetings, I'll usually ask a introductory question to have everyone kind of warm up a bit and so people can just hear individuals share something in the quorum. This past Sunday I asked them about their favorite Valentine's day memories. I was really surprised that so many of the guys were so negative in their perspectives about el dia de San Valentin. Want to know my feelings on the day? Go here, here, or here, if you had any questions about my feelings on it. Or read the rest of this post.

The lamest response, "I don't like being told/feeling obligated to have a day to tell someone that I love them," or some other variation on that line. It is such a cop-out. Such a cop-out. Oh, you know what else I hate? Christmas. I hate that someone made up a day to celebrate the birth of the Savior. We should just remember it every day, and celebrate it everyday. Right? I told Amy about what the guys were saying and she had the same exact response. I just love her.

Anyway, it's just good to have time set aside to celebrate what is probably the most important of all human emotions and expressions. Fortunately, I'm pretty well practiced in expressing my feelings and taking advantage of Valentine's day for just such expressions.

Yesterday was nice. It came together rather quickly once I finally decided on my plan, but it required me running around from the minute my class was done up until the time that the plans actually came to fruition. It included stops at Costco, Macey's, Robert's, Hallmark, and the mall. It required marinating, baking, and grilling. And it ended all smiles. (We even dropped by the dance that our stake put on for a little bit. I just love that Amy is so fun that way. Last night I finally realized, when she mentioned it, that we'll need to take full advantage of chaperoning the youth dances when we're in the family ward. Can't wait.)

An aside: I can't tell you how much I love my grill. It's got so much space, it cooks (mostly) evenly, and it's just so easy compared to a charcoal grill. You can't beat the ease and clean up of the gas grill. Merry Christmas to me! And whomever else is the beneficiary of my recently acquired grill skills. The featured recipe? Stole this one from a friend.

Know what else is fun? I'm sure it's the same everywhere, but it's just fun to see so many guys out and about getting flowers. In just about every car that I was driving by, some guy was carting some amount of flowers along with him. Just great.

Well that is all. I hope you all took advantage of Valentine's day.

Xoxo! And I still just love this clip:

One Man's Struggle To Take It Easy

(Link) View more Ferris Buellers Day Off Sound Clips and Matthew Broderick Sound Clips
Did you know that's the tagline (post title) for Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Pretty clever, isn't it? That is easily one of my favorite movies and the last time I saw it is one year and one week ago from tomorrow. It was my first date with Amy.

It's so crazy to me how quickly things move and how much time unfolds right in front of my own eyes. A year ago we first started going out, and in five weeks we'll be getting married. Crazy.

We went to our last ward temple night in this ward yesterday at the Mt. Timpanogas temple, and it was so fun to see the temple where we're going to be shooting our bridals and groomals in a couple weeks, and in just over a month, where we'll actually be getting married.

I just can't believe how close it is.

Amy already has a buyer for her contract, and I just posted mine this morning. There's still a good amount of stuff to figure out, but I think we've been able to make good steady progress with everything as D-day approaches. Next weekend we'll be in California picking up her dress, the following weekend I'll be in Vegas with my buddies, 5 weeks we'll be married, and 10 years later we'll have a house and 4.5 children.

Not really, but it just feels like it's moving that way. Some other wedding related items:

• Invitations started going out yesterday.
• We picked out our first song to dance to as husband and wife.
• Dress comes next week.
• Maybe we'll have ties next week.
• Hopefully we'll have reception food picked out this weekend.
• I want to sign a contract for our new place next week.

It's crazy how many things there are still to do, but it's still fun figuring all of it out. It really is just an exciting time.

This was a finalist in the first dance song, but still lost out. I really like it though. Have a great weekend, dear ones.

Reagan at 100

Maybe you didn't know this, but Ronald Reagan was born 100 years ago over the weekend. All over conservative outlets they have been celebrating him and sharing thoughts of him, that kind of thing. You know what are some of my favorite things to read? Personal anecdotes of Reagan. He's so funny and humane, just so generally interested in improving the human condition. Jay Nordlinger wrote an essay when he passed away in 2004, and he related this bit:

If I hadn’t liked Reagan so much, as a man, would I have swung around to his views? Probably—but it would have taken longer. There was his humor, his “security in his own skin,” as everyone said. People wanted him to be embarrassed by his acting career, especially his role in Bedtime for Bonzo, in which he played alongside a chimp. But Reagan wasn’t the least embarrassed. Someone gave him a still from that picture to sign—Reagan with Bonzo. He wrote,“I’m the one with the watch.”

Don't you just love that? There are tons of stories like that about him. I need to read another biography on him. So should you.

Relationship Cooing

Amy and I hit one year since we first went out, one year ago from last Saturday. Pretty crazy, right? I have never been in such a stable and consistently good relationship. I guess that makes sense or else I probably would have been engaged before. We've had some stormy spots, but otherwise it has really been smooth sailing. No one has ever made me feel so secure in a relationship.

This time of year is really funny to me. People have some time to finally develop some friendships and people know each other well enough that they start dating and getting cozy with each other. Obviously Amy and I started getting acquainted at this point last year, but we've been able to see some other couples emerge in the last little bit as well.

One of my roommates is actually part of one of these couples, and I guess I'm running some risk because sometimes his girlfriend drops by here, but these aren't things I wouldn't shy away from telling her anyway, so here goes. Knowing them separately, I would have never really thought to pair them together, not that they're opposites, but I just never really pictured that one happening. Yesterday they spent most of the afternoon and then evening on our bar couch that's now our living room couch, and it was actually really kind of adorable. They talk and laugh a lot together, and it made me think of cooing.

I couldn't hear anything that they were actually saying from my room, but I could hear the tone of it and it was really just warm and sweet. There's a type of cooing that couples do when they're together that really illustrates a lot about the state of the relationship. They sit close together and kind of laugh and tease, but they can also sit quietly and feel comfortable enough that they'll start falling asleep together. We went out with another couple on Friday night and they have some really similar banter. We've known the girl for awhile, and she's really one of our very favorite people up here. It's just really fun because I think I've gotten into that place where I just want the whole world to start dating and be in relationships so that we can hang out with them.

I love what I have with Amy. Yesterday in stake conference I was thinking about confirmations and such about her, our relationship, and our engagement. I never really actively sought out a spiritual confirmation, but just that I would be generally inspired and in tune with my own feelings and whether this would be a good and right relationship for me to pursue, and I've just never had any real doubts about her or about how good things have been with her.

Anyway, I just hope that our own cooing persists and that people can look at us and see what it is that they'd like to see in their own lives.

Digital Love

It's kind of funny to me sometimes when I realize how different musical tastes can be between people. It really says a lot about a person's personality, doesn't it? So I wonder what it says about mine when I was putting together the beginnings of a wedding playlist and I started thinking, "you know what I can't believe I don't have? a west or east coast hip hop mix!" Then I was driving around with my roommate last night and just kind of laughing to myself about how different his tastes are from mine.

I like to think I'm pretty varied on what I'll listen to. My go-to as a teen was punk music, just loved that stuff to death. And I still really like it now, but I also like a lot of rap/hippity-hop, but I'm pretty good when it comes to 80s-90s music too. Last month I got a bunch of classic rock stuff too. Or pop. Most anything, for that matter, but I've never really attempted to develop a taste for country music, but I bet with the right tutelage, I could be open to that one as well.

I didn't mean to get into all of that.

There's a lot of things to feel be excited about: upcoming trips, tonight's men's volleyball game, my thesis work (what?!), , the Super Bowl, wedding stuff. It's all fun stuff. And the weekend. It's here! Have a good one, y'all!

(One of the featured songs at the reception. I just kinda dig on it. It's upbeat and fun.)

Using Time Wisely

Usually that is not the case for me. I feel like I do a great job of just doing filler items. This last week though, I have been incredibly productive:

• Prepared and taught what will probably be my final lesson in this ward and as a YSA, generally.
• Home taught more than 10 different people.
• Ran more than 30 miles in about 6 days.
  
• Finally got moving again on my thesis and sent off my latest draft to my committee chairperson.
• Helped move a girl in my ward.
  
• Moved two sets of washers and dryers.
• Finished a book.
• Started eating super healthy again (for me at least). Two salads on consecutive days!

It's kind of funny to me how much I can get done when Amy is not around. And I wouldn't even necessarily say that it's because of Amy that I don't always get those things done, but I would say that it's because of her that I wanted to get them all taken care of before she came back.

It really is a great feeling to feel on top of things. This week really was the first week of good progress on my thesis since probably before the holidays. It's amazing how other things can just take over my life.

Well, she's back now, and I couldn't be happier, but I sure would love if I could merge productive me from this past week to getting-ready-for-marriage me that's been here for the last little bit. We'll see how that goes.

Love My People

So it's my best friend's beautiful wife's (Caitlin) Smurfday today and for some reason my feelings are closer to the surface about my loved ones today. Isn't she so pretty?

Here are five things that I just love about Caitlin:

1. Her insatiable hunger for games. Really. It's like a meth addict type addiction for her. It's unreal.
2. Her tendency towards a 10-year old type diet because I think I trend that way too. I know I do. She just loves treats and it's kind of awesome.
   
3. She is one of the wittiest girls I know.
4. She totally gets her husband's humor, and everyone does because he's funny, but she just rolls her eyes at it a lot of the time and I think that in itself is funny.
5. She makes my best friend a much better man than he could ever be without her.

This morning I started scrolling through blogs of my friends and Amy's family, and I was really kind of overwhelmed with how much I love all of these people. I am excited to have some time in a couple weekends with Mary and Scott and Elisha and the kids. I am so excited to head back home this month, even if it's only a few days. I'm super excited to hang out with all of my buddies at the end of the month for a bachelor party. And one of the best parts about getting married next month is having all of my favorite people in one location to celebrate with Amy and I.

There's no greater satisfaction for me than the people in my life. Happy birthday, Caitlin!

(You too, Mike. You didn't get a blog shout-out, but I still want to go out to just a Silva and Mike Reid lunch this week, albeit, a couple weeks late.)

Here We Go, Cougars

I'm a lot a bit disappointed about tonight. I bought tickets to the BYU v. SDSU game weeks ago in anticipation of this game. Our very own #9 team is hosting a #6 team and winner assumes the top position in the conference? Yes, please.

Only I realized last week that I have to teach a class tonight. So we gave away our tickets to Amy's brother and sister-in-law. Shame. I also walked past Jimmer on campus the other day. Nobody else really seemed to notice him. Funny how that works, right? I wanted to approach him because it would be cool to say when he gets to the NBA, I met that kid way back when...

Maybe some day.

Other sports comments:

• The Angels traded for Vernon Wells over the weekend. Some of my friends are really sour on the trade, but I think this is something that actually returns them to prominence. I'm behind the trade 100%. They complain about the contract, but I applaud the acquisition of a legitimate 3 or 4 hitter in the lineup. How do they not realize that with just that move alone the Angels actually become a threat with their lineup again?
  
• I'm a little bit in love with Aaron Rodgers. Is it because he spells his last name with a "d"? Yes, a little. But mostly it's just that the guy has had to take a pretty circuitous route to the NFL. He received zero scholarships out of high school, but still found his way to a good program. He made them legitimate, and then he had to suffer in agony while every camera was trained on him as teams passed over him in the NFL draft. He had to sit behind resident d-bag Brett Favre for several years before finally getting his shot as a staring QB in the NFL, and now there's no denying that he's one of the elite QBs. But what is it that makes him so endearing? I think it's the Facebook fan page dedicated to his TD celebration.

I am very excited for this year's Super Bowl. I'm a little bit dead inside because I can't get to tonight's basketball game. But it's no big deal. My teams are rockin' generally, and in the sport where my team faded off awhile, there is still someone awesome to root for.

Let's go Cougars and Packers.

Friday Round-Up

I know I've done this before, and my readers don't really follow current events or politics as much as I'd like y'all to, but here are some recommendations for some people around the web that you might, possibly, perhaps like to read some more from sometime:

• Jay Nordlinger - this is my guy. I quote him almost every time I have a post on here. He's a genuine person, conservative in his politics, and just a wonderful human being. I even wrote him one time about one of his columns and he actually responded to me. Isn't that cool? It was brief, but still. Anyway, check him out on National Review.
• Jeff Jacoby - Only in the last several months to year have I really started following this guy. Now I get his weekly email that includes his column. He writes for he Boston Globe, but he's got a wonderfully sensible take on just about everything. And he writes about interesting things, but they aren't limited to just your usual current events stuff.
  
• James Taranto - he writes for the Wall Street Journal. He's very quippy, Has just a great take on politics, very grounded. His (usually) daily piece is called Best of the Web Today.
• David Brooks - writes for the NY Times. I used to follow him a lot more than I do now. My less frequent reading of him doesn't owe to anything in particular. He's mostly a moderate writer, but he has a great take that's a slight different spin on things. Good stuff.
• Michael Barone - writes for the Washington Examiner which is by and large, a conservative newspaper. He's a great political analyst and crunches numbers hard, but gives great, very readable insights.

There are a number of others who are good too - Charles Krauthammer, Byron York, Thomas Sowell, among others. They're worth reading. Great commentary.

And I leave you with this Friday song. Not sure why I'm so into it, but it's been my jam this week.

Morning Thoughts About Benevolent Sexism

So everyone knows what hostile sexism is - it's what you typically think of when it comes to sexism generally. Benevolent sexism is a different strand. It is the kind that causes men to open doors, pay for meals, those kinds of things. It's the nice variety. Normally it's accompanied by a paternalistic, talking-down-to kind of patronizing. It can point to really negative behavioral traits, but generally I think it's just being nice, and it's mostly welcome.

Mostly.

Anyway, I started thinking about this on the bus this morning. Actually, I've been thinking about it every time lately on the morning bus ride to Salt Lake because the bus has been unusually full in the last little while. So many people are getting on to ride, in fact, that at least a few people (sometimes many) are left without seats for the 45 minute ride and are left to stand in the aisle. Men will usually get up and allow women to sit in their places, and this morning one man even went so far as to ask some inattentive young man to give up his seat for a woman that was standing in front of him.

It kind of bothered me a little, and here's why: everyone on that bus is on his or her way up to Salt Lake, and it's an early hour, and it requires waiting outside in the cold, 12 degrees this morning to be exact. I used to drive from my place out to a later exit so that I wouldn't have to stay on the bus as long, but with the overcrowding I've taken to getting up earlier to get on at an earlier stop so that I can get my own seat and not have to stand. This is important to me just because I depend on being seated so that I can get a good 30-40 minute nap on the bus before getting to work. I get up earlier and will wait longer if it means I can get a seat. Anyone else can do the same.

I'm not opposed to giving up my seat to a woman. I've done it a few times on the way back to Utah County without complaint or hesitation. I don't mind when everyone has the same opportunity for the same seats, but there is something that bothers me when anyone else can do what I do and just get up a little earlier and make sure you get on the bus before it fills up. I think that taking more time out of my day and getting up earlier is a cost to bear, and with that cost, I expect to have a seat. Is that unreasonable?

In any case, I mostly remove the need to give up my seat by going to the very back of the bus and reserving for myself a window seat. Turns out people won't ask you to get up if it's really inconvenient to get to your seat. And that is the benefit to being observant.

How to Parent

Did anyone see the article, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, last week? Mona Charen over at NRO has a response to the article that you can find here. As you might imagine, the original article is pretty harsh in its tone, the parenting style very brash and demanding. Let me give you some excerpts:

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more...

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out...

I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

There were over 4,000 comments to the article, which is a record for the WSJ. It elicited a lot of strong feelings from parents.

But maybe not as negative in their reactions as you might expect. Charen points out, "The tiger mothers may overdo it a bit — but let’s face it, many American parents are too reluctant to demand work that isn’t “fun” and too ready to believe that our children have something to teach us rather than the other way around."

Admittedly, I don't know anything about parenting from my own experience. I can only conjecture about what I would do or how I might react given certain situations, but I don't know what kind of temperament my kids will have, or how even my own response while actually in that role of parent. However, I think there is some merit to what the author mentions.

There is such a strong push in our society to protect and boost self-esteem, but as Chua points out, depression, anxiety, and other related disorders run rampant, and maybe more now than ever before in spite of our best efforts to coddle and protect. I think there is some sense to her assertion that it's good to assume strength and not fragility. Her harsh manner is very likely not the best method for raising children, but the tendency to be too soft and too lenient probably overrides much too often. As members of the Church, if we have those expectations when it comes to morality, would it be that much of a stretch to have similar expectations in other arenas of life?

Just some thoughts while I'm waiting for our server to get back online.

Getting the Itch

I took another few weeks off of running over Christmas and the holidays. It was actually a welcome break. My left arch had been getting sore. I had gotten a little sick, so I'm not sure if running would have just prolonged that cold anyway. It made sense.

But I've been running again the last few days and I can't believe the difference. I sleep better. I have more energy. I'm happier. And the second I even run a few miles after a break like that, I'm automatically several pounds lighter. It's amazing the difference. The best part, though, is that I just love it. It gives me time to think. I can let my legs work and my mind wander.

So it's probably little wonder why I'm looking forward to training for another marathon this summer. I'm thinking the Deseret News one in Salt Lake on Saturday, July 23rd. It starts crazy early to beat the heat - 5:30am. Training for that would start right after the wedding. And if our open house in California doesn't conflict, I'd like to run the Thanksgiving Point half marathon at the end of April. One more? The Dirty Dash is returning to Utah, this time just a 5k on June 4th. Registration for that one right now is $35 until 2/20.

Who is with me?

A Quick Update

The wedding planning is going. Amy is a machine when it comes to getting that stuff done, and we're making good progress, but there's still a lot to do. Turns out that planning a party for a couple hundred friends and family members, a honeymoon to immediately follow, then another trip up to Vancouver the following week, and another one to California about a month later requires a lot of details. And that's in addition to the merging of lives. Who knew, right? Clearly not me. I always used to get so annoyed with engaged couples who would disappear before they got married and then they come back around and want to hang out after being married for a month or few, but now I understand how that goes. Put all of that on top of work, school, and calling stuff and it's pretty hectic these days.

Our schedule from the day of our wedding to when we leave on our honeymoon to coming back and then heading straight back up to Canada will be at break neck pace, but it looks like we'll get some good time in with all the important players and in the right places. I'm really happy about that.

It's amazing how real life becomes while I'm going through this whole process. I've had various thoughts and some moments of concern this week about how well all of this will go - will I be able to find gainful employment following school with meaningful pay? can we find a place that's reasonable in its costs, but that we're still happy with? will we be able to start a family on the time table that we'd like? those things - but what's been really nice has been how supportive Amy is through everything, but just as helpful has been staying up with scripture study and prayer.

I think I'll get to this point more over the weekend, but it's important to stay connected. I think maybe one of the most important things, staying connected to loved ones, to Heavenly Father. I've had a lot of thoughts about that this week. I'll get back to that later.

Anyway, back to work. This song is probably not appropriate given the tone that the post is ending with, but I just love these beats. Have a great weekend, dear ones.

The Present Madness

I trust that you heard about the shootings over the weekend, right? Down in Tuscon, a congresswoman, federal judge, and several other people were shot and killed by a gunman. Rep. Giffords (D) is in critical condition, but apparently she is improving. There's a lot of controversy being stirred up by various news sources about how this was a politically motivated shooting that occurred because of the climate that's being fostered by the right. Where was this kind of talk last year when that guy opened-fire at Ft. Hood and it actually was a politically motivated shooting? He was a Muslim extremist, but the call was for everyone to calm down and look at it rationally. Now people are jumping on the Tea Party and saying that this is somehow tied to Sarah Palin.

How is that even remotely the case? When does anyone on the right EVER advocate any sort of violence whatsoever? Absurd. All of this, in fact, obscures the real issue. Mona Charen mentions it briefly in this piece here. The most obvious explanation for what happened over the weekend was that this guy was a paranoid schizophrenic who had a grudge against the congresswoman. Schizophrenia was what afflicted John Lennon's killer, Ronald Reagan's attempted assassin, and the kid who went into a grocery store in Irvine several years ago with a samurai sword. It afflicts more men than women, and typically sets in during a person's 20s. We talked about it at length yesterday in my Biological Psych class.

Anyway, my guy, Jay Nordlinger, had this to say about it:

The shooting in Arizona has nothing to do with politics. Nothing to do with Republicans, nothing to do with conservatism. It has nothing to do with the Tea Party, Sarah Palin, you, or me. From what we know, a young psychotic got it into his psychotic head that he would shoot the local congressman, who happened to have a “D.” after her name, rather than an “R.” But the goons and ghouls have pretended that the Republicans spurred this.

And here we are, talking about the massacre and the Republicans, the massacre and national politics, as though there were any connection between these things.

A psychotic described by his classmates as a left-wing pothead shoots a bunch of people. And in the dock is that famous left-wing pothead Sarah Palin. Great, just great. May I pose a question? If the wounded congressman were a Republican instead of a Democrat -- I believe the dead judge was a Republican -- would we be having a discussion about the massacre and national politics? Would anchormen be running to the scene of the crime?

Jeff Danziger has drawn another odious cartoon, the kind he has long specialized in: Out of a steaming teapot arises an assassin. Get it? The Tea Party. Cool! That’s the way the likes of Danziger want it to be, and practically need it to be. That’s the way they wish it were -- no matter what the reality.

I am speaking of the following attitude: A right-winger, instead of a Communist, should have shot Kennedy. A right-winger, instead of a Palestinian immigrant, should have shot Bobby. A right-winger -- a Tea Partier! -- instead of a young, untreated schizo, should have shot Giffords and those others. I believe that is the attitude on display in that cartoon, and elsewhere.

To say it once more, the Left has kind of won: because we are having a discussion about the Arizona shooting and Republicanism, the Arizona shooting and Sarah Palin, which is not much different from having a discussion about the Arizona shooting and, oh, I don’t know: the price of eggs in Dakar.

Chances are, the Arizona massacre will hurt the Republican party and the Tea Party, stopping or slowing their momentum. Because the Left, “respectable” and not, has, I believe, succeeded in associating the massacre in the public mind with the “Right.” A “veteran Democratic operative” told Politico that President Obama and his team “need to deftly pin this on the Tea Partiers.” Oh, I’m not sure they have to be so deft about it. The Danziger-Krugman way will probably work just fine.

What the irresponsible Left has done in this instance -- in its exploitation of a massacre -- is so low, so foul, so disgusting, I barely have the words. I mean, turn Paul Wellstone’s funeral into a political rally if you want to. But this? As I said on the Bennett radio show, I’m not a blushing violet, and I know that politics is rough. But to pretend that a murder spree by a psychotic has something to do with those of us who oppose the Democrats’ health legislation and other measures -- this is beyond the pale, way beyond it.

I’ve said it before: There are angels and demons on both the right and the left. Neither side has a monopoly on virtue, or its opposite. I’ve made some people chuckle by saying, “Most of the worst people I have known have been on the right. Why? Because I have known so many people on the right! My jobs have seen to that.” I know a lot of angels and demons -- of different political stripes.

But the Left’s reaction to this Arizona massacre -- “Mission Accomplished, Sarah Palin,” and all that? Very, very hard to take. It is indeed hard to share a conversation, a political culture, a society, with such people.

Just thought you should know.

I'm Checkin' In!

I was telling Amy this past Sunday that if I were going to bear my testimony that day in church, it would have been about family history. I think Amy and I are a pretty cool combination when it comes to documentation because she is very visual while I am very verbal, so that means we should have a pretty good family blog.

I think journaling and documenting your own life events is as much family history as doing the grinding work of finding birth and death dates and such, only it's a lot more fun because who doesn't like to talk about themselves in one form or another, right?

Anyway, I think it's importance is illustrated well in the Book of Mormon. That entire book is essentially one family's history, Lehi's. My favorite specific mention of this topic is when Benjamin is speaking to his sons about the scriptures, "were it not for these plates, which contain these records and these commandments, we must have suffered in ignorance, even at this present time, not knowing the mysteries of God" (Mosiah 1:3). In our own way, we have our own experiences to boast of, and ones that should document the mysteries of God as he operates in our lives.

With all of that being said, I think that I'd like to get back to blogging more. I think my blog will serve that function in part, and I think I'll start doing more written accounts of the goings on that we have, but I'll also interject with the other sundry topics that I tend to explore as well.

With that said, I just love this story about Ted Williams (not the HOF'er). This is the original video that was posted yesterday. Check out the view count.


A day later, he has gotten multiple offers for jobs, and it ends up that the one he'll be taking will be with the Cleveland Cavaliers. They have offered him a job, and to help him get back on his feet they are offering to pay the mortgage on a home. What's my favorite part in all of this is the amount of humility that he has, and while it's surely been pressed upon him because of his own poor choices, it is still there nonetheless.

Anyway, here's an interview with him from this afternoon:


I just love this story. So look forward to more blog posts.

Chris and Amy's Summer of 2010

With some of my extra time I put this together. Just a photo slideshow. Here you go!

The Decline of Western Civilization

The other day I started buying up several different Christmas albums while I was killing some time. I've been a fan of the first few Now That's What I Call Christmas albums and a friend of mine had mentioned the other day that they were up to five Nows, so I decided I might check some of them out. I didn't really recognize many of the track listings, and I was surprised to see one in particular - Lady Gaga's version of Christmas Tree.

It sounded weird to me. Lady Gaga did her own take on O Christmas Tree? So it piqued my interest, I listened to the snippet, and I got really annoyed. I'll spare your eyes from its obscenity by posting the actual lyrics, but if you can't help yourself, click here.

It's probably not even that different from most contemporary music out there, but labeling that piece of garbage a Christmas song had an especially grating effect on me because you couldn't get any further from the actual meaning of Christmas than by having something so incredibly offensive as this song is.

On a similar note, I downloaded the Glee Christmas album without even listening to anything off of it, assuming that I'd like most of it anyway (when it costs so little, it's pretty easy to just put down a little money and get whatever). Then I noticed that their version of Baby It's Cold Outside is sung by two guys, and I got grossed out again.

I jumped off the Glee train a couple months ago. I just can't stand how much Finn gets vilified because he's the only person that has any problem with Kurt's flamboyant and over-the-top homosexuality. If any heterosexual were that blatant and obnoxious about his sexuality, it would be just about as off-putting as Kurt's homosexuality is. I just hate it. And, again, I just can't stand the amount of criticism that is leveled at Finn because of his beliefs. How's that for tolerance? Anyway, just annoying is all.

That's enough of my ranting.

Moving on...Amy happens to like really nice, well put together Christmas lights. I think I'm mostly on board with that, but sometimes when I see an incredibly ugly, haphazard Christmas light arrangement, it kind of just really warms my heart. Am I alone here? There is this house over by our place where the lights are just kind of thrown on the bushes and trees and it looks so funny to me. It really looks like it was put together by some overly-annoyed teenager who was forced to do it. It looks like the kid just threw the strand of lights as far as he could up on the tree and then just plugged it in. I want a picture of it. Anyway, so I thought it was funny to see this paragraph in an article I was reading last week:

In cultural news, is it me or are Christmas decorations becoming distressingly tasteful? With each passing year, TMQ observes fewer homes lit up with gaudy multicolored flashing lights, more homes alight with softly glowing, tasteful white lights. Tuesday Morning Quarterback strongly opposes tasteful, and not just as regards cheerleading outfits. Overdone displays of garish pulsing colored lights helped make this country great. Inflatable flashing Santas are good too -- right now there's an inflatable abominable snowman on TMQ's lawn. Tasteful holiday lighting is another sign of the decline of Western civilization.

Back to music: I did end up finding some pretty good Christmas music. I got some Michael Buble songs, and I was surprised that the crooner hasn't put out his own Christmas album yet. He has the right kind of style for that, doesn't he? I also bought some of the Nutcracker arrangements. I am really interested in seeing that one next year. The music is just amazing. Any recommendations on other Christmas albums? I've already got David Archuleta's, Andrea Bocelli's. But anything else? Let me know.

I think my favorite song this Christmas season has been It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. In church someone played a violin arrangement of it and it was really good. There are some pretty interesting versions of this song, the funniest being Aaron Neville's. Anyway, here is one version by Ella Fitgerald:

Have a great week, dear ones!

A Good Writer

No, this is not a creative writing post. I wish it were. Maybe I'll write something over the holiday break. This is back to politics, the root of this blog.

This is about Jeff Jacoby, a columnist for the Boston Globe. I don't remember how I came across his stuff, probably over at Real Clear Politics, but he's a really great writer. His pieces are clear and to the point, and never more than a few minutes worth of reading. And, what's more, he's as solid as they come when it comes to morality and decency, which it turns out, I really love in my columnists.

He's written a few articles recently on "Islamophobia" (the quotes are very much on purpose) and the American disinterest in genocide. One that I really thought was good was this one you can find by clicking here about Atheism and its aggression against religion. Here's an excerpt:

For in a world without God, there is no obvious difference between good and evil. There is no way to prove that even murder is wrong if there is no Creator who decrees "Thou shalt not murder." It certainly cannot be proved wrong by reason alone. One might reason instead -- as Lenin and Stalin and Mao reasoned -- that there is nothing wrong with murdering human beings by the millions if doing so advances the Marxist cause. Or one might reason from observing nature that the way of the world is for the strong to devour the weak -- and that natural selection favors the survival of the fittest by any means necessary, including the killing of the less fit.

To us today, believers and nonbelievers alike, it may seem obvious that human life is precious and that the weakest among us deserve special protection. But would we think so absent a moral tradition stretching back to Sinai? It seemed obvious in classical antiquity that sickly babies should be killed. "We drown even children who at birth are weakly and abnormal," wrote the Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger 2,000 years ago, stressing that "it is not anger but reason" that justifies the murder of handicapped babies.

The God who created us, created us to be good. No, reason alone is not enough to keep human beings humane. Only if there is a God who forbids murder is murder definitively evil. Otherwise its wrongfulness is no more than a matter of opinion. Mao and Seneca approved of murder; we disapprove. Who are we to say they were wrong?

The God who created us, created us to be good. Atheists may believe -- and spend a small fortune advertising -- that we can all be "good without God." Human history tells a very different story.

And here is the article. Anyway, he's just really good. You can subscribe to his column via his website (here) and he sends out an email about once or twice a week that are really, really good reading.

Incidentally, atheism is the oddest thing, isn't it? One of my friends, her dad used to say "if you've decided to leave the Church, why can't you just leave it alone?" Anyone who spurs any religion tends to harbor a great amount of resentment and automatically become pugnacious preachers against the cause they used to so readily believe in. Atheists are just as guilty of this as anybody.

In any case, if you're looking for your local atheists in the Provo area, they meet up at the Coffee Pod off of Bulldog Tuesdays at 8pm.

Which reminds me of this dialogue:

H: Are you an anarchist?
A: You mean, am I a member of...
H: An anarchist group, yes.
A: Anarchists have a group?
H: I believe so, sure.
A: They assemble?
H: I don't know.
A: Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?

I just love that. Anyway, if you have a minute, check him out.

Remember Blogging?

There was a time when I felt compelled to blog at least once a day (weekdays, at least). It's weird to think that I have just kind of fallen off when it comes to my blog. I think it used to be a way of reaching people that I thought I maybe wanted to know, but didn't yet. I liked the thought that I had a voice that reached further than just hearing distance, but to people I haven't before seen or met, or heard, for that matter.

I would write about politics and sports and whatever else I fancied. I really did write about almost everything. And not only did I keep up with a steady stream of posts daily, but I did it for a very long time. I'd say up through this past summer I had been steadily dishing out posts since I first started this blog, and that may have been somewhere around 2007, maybe even earlier. I was kind of obsessed.

That's just a part of my personality. I get really excited about things. I get into something and I stick with it for a good while. I'm not sure what that may be lately. I'm back into running. I've been creeping around 20 miles a week now for a couple weeks, and I finally feel great again when I run. I was in marathon shape back in the beginning of October, but not running at all consistently for about 7 or 8 weeks has a way of deleting all fitness that you have. It goes away so fast, but thankfully, I feel like I'm back. I don't have a marathon picked out yet, but I'll find something.

School is otherwise good, and my life is very good. Actually, yesterday I had lunch with Elder Zwick of the 70 for our department Christmas devotional. Maybe I'll talk about that at some point.

This is very journal-ly, but I feel like I owe it to my adoring public to let them know of my blogging status, and it is this: lazy.

I used to write down my ideas for posts, and then I would always get to them within 24 hours. Now I don't want to write opinion things, and I don't think I'll ever really get into blogging as a form of keeping people updated on me, but I still do want to write and keep up that craft. And the thing that intrigues me the most is...creative writing.

But who knows if I'll ever actually devote a sufficient amount of time for that.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

At Long Last, the Engagement Story

Okay, so this is long overdue. Inquiring minds want to know, and have been asking the last couple of days. In my defense, I’ve just been really busy. Amy and I went back to California over the Thanksgiving weekend and we had a pretty tight schedule the entire time, so I never had an opportunity really to sit down and type this all out. I don’t really have much time now either, as I’m on my lunch break, but here goes…

We’ve been talking about marriage for awhile now, and we went ring shopping towards the end of October. In using my ring hook-up, however, that part of the process got delayed and it actually still isn’t resolved, but more on that in a bit. In my mind I knew that this had to happen before Thanksgiving, ring or not, so that we could start openly planning for the blessed nuptials and get the show on the road. She was really anxious for it to move, but had been really patient in not bugging me too much about having the engagement actually happen. With the days passing by and Thanksgiving looming on the horizon, I decided that I would propose the weekend before. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but I didn’t schedule my helper in time and she had to babysit the Friday when I wanted to do it. So it got pushed back to the following Monday.

The thing that was most important to me was just making sure that it would be a surprise. Unbeknownst to me, she had assumed that I was just going to wait until Thanksgiving weekend to do the deed so she had resigned herself until that time. So having it be on a Monday, not even a weekend night, worked out in helping maintain the surprise.

So the week before I began coordinating with Mike and Lauren about where we would set up (Lauren’s family cabin in Sundance) and what the setup would look like, how the night would unfold including conversations and how to get everyone out without arousing suspicion, all of that. The problem that I ran into for that Monday was that Sunday it started snowing a pretty good amount. I wasn’t sure how much at the time, but I kind of just went on assuming that it would work out and we would be able to do it there. Now came the time to tell her about the evening so that she could plan for it and be available.

On the drive home from her brother’s place up near Kayesville, I pretended to check my phone for a voicemail message that I would say was from Mike. I picked up my phone, held it up for a minute, and then closed it, and asked her if she wanted to do an FHE with Mike and Lauren and some other friends the next night up at Lauren’s cabin. She asked if I wanted to skip our ward FHE for it, I kind of just brushed it off, and didn’t bring it up again until we parted ways that night, confirming that we should go and that it would be fun to go up to the cabin.

The next day went by in a rush as I tried to figure out whether the cabin would be feasible given the snow from the previous day, and what kind of backup plans we could have in place if it wouldn’t work out. I resigned myself to not using the cabin, then resolved that I would check it out and see if there was any way that we could do it there for that night. The thing about the cabin, or any cabin for that matter, is that for Amy and I, cabins are special places. We even have joked about that throughout our relationship. My friend’s cabin is where she and I really first noticed each other in an attractiveness kind of way while playing ping pong, and the next trip we had up there was where we first held hands. Cabins hold a lot of sentimental value for us as well as just being a nice locale for the event, right?

Well I left my office hours early to drive the road up to Sundance. It wouldn’t work. Just before the resort my car lost all traction and I was barely able to turn myself around and get back down the mountain. Then I called and texted several people to see if their vehicles were all wheel drive, and if I could borrow theirs. Most people didn’t respond, and the ones who did either didn’t have all wheel drive or were weird about letting me borrow their cars, so scratch the cabin plan.

The alternative was to do it at another house that Lauren’s family owns on Center Street in Provo. I had full confidence in Mike and Lauren to set everything up because Lauren is in love with anything wedding/marriage/engagement related and has helped a number of other people with their events, and Lauren has impeccable taste. I had her and Mike buy flowers and get the dining room set up, and then I went out and bought Amy’s favorite meal, and some other items.

They texted me to let me know they were done setting up and I went and picked up Amy. This part was crucial. I had to sell her on this being like any other evening and that we were simply going to go hang out with some friends and play games, no big deal. She told me later that the thought that this might be the night didn’t cross her mind until right before I picked her up: “Wait a second, a cabin? Cabins are special to us, could this be it?” I walked up her stairs to get her and she asked if she should grab anything. I hadn’t told her the change of venue till then, so in my most casual voice I told her no, that we would be dropping by the other house to pick up games because we couldn’t go up to the cabin that night because of the weather. That appeased her and she decided it wouldn’t happen that night.

I still wasn’t sure if she was unsuspecting yet, so to put it beyond all doubt, in the car I said to her, “just to set your expectations about everything, because I know you’re anxious to get things moving, and I am too, but I talked to Kevin today and the ring won’t actually be ready until two weeks from today.” Which was true, at the time. She got quiet, and I even heard a sniffle. I reached for her hand like I normally do in the car and she was totally unresponsive. I sensed her sadness and then I felt a smile start to creep over my face. Mission accomplished. She has no idea what’s about to hit her.

We arrived at the house a minute later. I asked her to come in with me to pick some stuff out, and we entered in through the back of the house into the kitchen. The dining area is completely blocked from view so when I opened the door, she walked into the room and saw the candles and flowers and whole arrangement, she knew exactly what was happening and the tears came immediately thereafter. I had my speech prepared, but at that point it didn’t really matter what I was going to say. I knelt on one knee, asked her, and she said yes.

I don’t have pictures of the setup yet, and we’re actually still figuring out the ring part of it, so those details you’ll have to wait for, but we’re looking at the end of March, specifically March 19^th.

To get just a little gushy about my girlfriend and now fiancée – Amy is the greatest girl and best fit that I could ever hope for. There have been other times and other girls that I’ve dated where I thought that I had everything that I would ever need or want, but in her she has filled needs and done things for me that I didn’t even know I needed. She makes me want to live a better life, however grudgingly I might want to do so sometimes, and it has everything to do with me feeling like with her, I am moving towards and becoming the person I hope to be. However foolish I have been, am now, or will be, she still seems to really love me in spite of it all and I’ve never felt so lucky to know someone like her and be able to maintain her constant affection. I couldn’t be happier. Thanks for coming this far.

UPDATE: Here are Amy's additions.

On the Road

You know what's an unnerving feeling? Falling asleep on the bus and waking up with most of the bus occupants gone and in unfamiliar surroundings. Yes, that happened to me this morning.

Whenever I don't have to leave early or when I have other places to stop, I always take the express bus between Provo and SLC. I forget how much I love public transportation until I get the chance to use it, and this is the first time in years that I've been able to utilize it. $100 for a bus pass for the entire year and I can use any part of the bus system and Trax? Yes, please!

What's doubly nice is that because I usually leave so early is that the express bus is nice enough that I can get comfortable enough to fall asleep (which may not be saying much as one of my super powers is being able to fall asleep ANYWHERE) and I can get back another hour of sleep before coming into the COB. My fear, however, was realized this morning when I was completely out and I opened my eyes to realize that I was in unfamiliar territory.

No matter, though, because I was only a few blocks passed Temple Square, the morning is pleasant with the sun just beginning to peak out over the mountains, so it was actually a pleasant little stroll.

That little jaunt gave me time some time to think about some of the random experiences I'd like to have someday:

• Hitchhike a significant distance in the US. I've done it in Chile for brief stretches, but it'd be neat to try and hitch a ride for a lengthy distance. Although my idea of hitchhiking might be romanticized by my reading of On the Road.
• Move somewhere completely foreign without any kind of contacts. One of my friends from high school kind of did this in college, moving to Spain and working as a bartender and tow truck driver. I'd kind of just like to see how I'd handle a situation like that. This next one is kind of similar...
• Adventure-mode a whole vacation - I think it'd be cool to just show up at the airport with no plans, several days free, and pay for the next available flight at the ticket counter and just go somewhere and do everything on the fly (yup!). Wouldn't that be cool? You'd have to just show up in some random city, talk to random people, and just kind of figure out as you go along. The vacation is the experience.

Those are just a few things I'd like to do. Maybe I'll miss my exit more often.

Hitler Reacts

I saw one of these months and months ago on another guy's blog about Hitler reacting to something about crayons. And then I saw another one today, and I realized that there are probably dozens of these. A few for you:

Funny that so many people have caught on to this. That's all.

Pick up your trash, please

I was watching ESPN while home for lunch today and I saw this story on Outside the Lines that actually put me to tears. Just a couple posts ago Laura made this comment:

emotions people get from sports has always been such a crazy phenomena to me. we get so upset, elated, etc for something that we can't control at all and doesn't personally effect us at all in our lives. don't get me wrong, i love it, but it is a funny thing. whenever the lakers win and matt is super excited i always tell him what a great job he did and how proud i am of him and how he cheered so well. because, you know, it is funny.

I'm taking this out of the context of her comment, but I just wanted to say that sports has a tremendous effect on our personal lives. If I could write one book in my life it would actually be about the far-reaching effects that entertainment, and sports in particular, can have in our lives. For those who won't follow that link above, which is probably just about all of you, it is the story about a little boy who is suffering from a disease that affects 1/4,000,000 people, that causes a child to age prematurely, at 10x or more the natural rate. But this little boy was just the sweetest little guy, and the only thing he wants to do in this whole world is play baseball.

I still remember seeing Kirk Gibson's home run in the '88 World Series. I remember Francisco Cabrera hitting the single that won the NLCS for the Braves in the bottom of the ninth that scored David Justice and Sid Bream. I remember Bo Jackson ruining his hip against the Bengals in '91. I remember Scott Spiezio and Darrin Erstad hitting home runs to bring the Angels back from the dead in 2002. I remember Robert Horry hitting that three to swing the series back to the Lakers in 2002. I remember Jason Lezak closing in on the French from what should have been an impossible distance for the US to pull out that particular relay in the 2008 Olympics. Just to name a few moments.

Yes, my existence has just about nothing to do with the success or failure of an organization that is ultimately run for pure monetary profit, but how that team fares in its season of play has profound effects on the escape that I have from my day to day routine. It has profound implications for some person who might have little else to look forward to then the next morning's box score when that person will look to see if his team won or lost the night before.

I know that's not what you were really getting at, Laura, but I just wanted to make a point. It does matter. It matters a lot to some people, as it turns out.

On a different note, I loved this bit from Jay Nordlinger:

Finally, there is a long letter that I wish to share with you. I’ll do a little “Keep reading” thing, because, as I said, the letter is long — but well worth the time, I think. In Impromptus, I tell a story about a man who bent down to pick up a penny. This item has occasioned a lot of mail, actually. And here is the letter I wish to share:

Dear Mr. Nordlinger,

I had a father who almost always picked up trash on the street when he came across it. During all the moments I witnessed these acts, it never occurred to me to ask him why he did it (when virtually everyone else ignored the stuff).

Thirty years later, out on a run in my neighborhood, I saw some trash and was moved to pick it up. It happened that I had recently been fired from a position despite the fact that I had performed extremely productively. I was in a state of mind that had me wondering about my worth. It occurred to me that, despite being unemployed, I could still be a good father, husband, friend, and citizen. Before, I might have done what my father did, with regard to trash, unthinkingly. Now I was doing it to soothe my soul, so to speak. If all I did was improve my neighborhood an iota, I figured I was still “productive” and “worthy.”

A silly little mind game, sure. However, that perspective helped me manage my period of unemployment and, I believe, helped me in the interviews that finally secured a much more lucrative new position.

But that’s not the end of the story. I continue to pick up trash, which means I keep an eye on the ground. As you can imagine, I’ve come across a fair amount of coinage and also bills, which I’ve always considered God’s little way of “repaying” me (not that I ever needed such “encouragement”). Recently, I found a diamond earring. Unable to determine its owner, I gave it to my wife, who was happy to receive it, and wears it happily around her neck. Value? I have no idea, but what it represents to me is incalculable.

So I guess you could say my father’s humble civic actions turned out to be an immensely important gift to his son. It helped me get through my biggest professional challenge and led to a change in perspective which has fortified me for the last 20 years.

How do you like that? Not so much a letter as a testimony.

Before I was in high school, I used to think that it was hilarious to litter, and mostly in egregious ways. All my friends did, and I knew other kids when I went to college that thought the same thing. Then I served a mission in a third world country and I saw how awful it makes everything look. I basically grew up, and guess what was the first thing I noticed and was most grateful for when I got off the plane in Newport Beach, CA? The cleanliness blew my mind, and now I never want to be that person ever again. Then I worked as a janitor and later as part of the grounds crew at BYU and actually kind of liked trash duty and making things nice. Now I pick up stuff all the time around my neighborhood because things are always flying out of people's trash cans up here.

I think it matters. I think it all matters a great deal.

Lastly, I think it's a Bon Jovi weekend. Have a good one, y'all!

Give them an inch...

I saw this article this morning that I thought would be worth sharing. From the beginning of the article:

The Monday, November 8, 2010 edition of the Guardian featured an article by Tom Freeman and Katherine Doyle entitled "Heterosexual couple make second attempt for civil partnership." The article begins, "A heterosexual couple will request a civil partnership - available only to same-sex couples in the UK - at a register office in London tomorrow, to take a stand against a system which they say "segregates couples according to their sexuality".

This unmarried, heterosexual couple is a part of a revolutionary movement in British society. The members no longer want marriage to be recognized for what it is, a lifelong union between one man and one woman open to the bearing and rearing of children. They are dedicated to making the State give legal equivalency to non-marital relationships, homosexual or heterosexual. Then, they want to force the rest of society to call what can never be a marriage to be a marriage (homosexual partnerships) by using the Police Power of the State to enforce their new order.

I wonder how many people saw that coming. The progression goes like this:

Gay marriage advocates want broad societal endorsement of their lifestyle --> They seek this endorsement through legal channels, such as equal rights --> In an attempt to appease LGBT groups, instead of simply redefining marriage, they grant a concession by creating homosexual partnerships (domestic partnerships/civil unions here) that provide for the same rights as married couples --> By exploiting the application of the definition of those civil unions, gay rights advocates will now use that as a means for redefining marriage, which is what they were really going for all along. It's brilliant, right?

Sports Rant - Sometimes I just hate fans

This morning a friend of mine on Facebook said, "it's good to be a Jazz fan." So, naturally, I had to post the snarky remark, "but not in June, right?" when championships are won and lost. I was just teasing him, but then he came out with fists flying, talking about how the Lakers spend so much money, and how he prefers liking a team that takes its bumps and bruises and doesn't get favorable calls from the officials blah blah blah. Not being meek enough to just let it go I had to retort with how anyone would love it to be the favored team, no matter how they got there, and then I pointed to his beloved Utes as an example.

This is mostly what I wanted to rant about - what is it with fans being so self-righteous anyway? Because I happened to grow up in Southern California and therefore follow all teams from that area and now some of them are winning a lot, that somehow makes me a lesser fan than someone that grew up in a sports-poor area that has a small market team to follow? Newsflash: it doesn't make you more noble to be a fan of some team that loses year after year than someone that happens to follow a winning team. (Although it does matter somewhat whether you just happen to jump on the bandwagon because that's annoying to pretty much everyone.) But this is the thing about sports, and it's just like I mentioned to my friend, when it's your team that's suddenly in it until the end and all sorts of competitive, you're really not going to care too much about how they got there, just that they're there, so stop complaining when other guys are doing well.

Last year I was at a Halloween get together and a guy I know was going on and on about how much he hates Kobe and wouldn't even want him to come play for the Jazz. I held my tongue that time, but I thought to myself, then what kind of fan are you anyway? Why wouldn't you want one of the top-3 players in the NBA right now, and one of the 10-15 best all time? Why wouldn't you want a guy that can make your team an instant contender? It's not like Deron Williams is a saint but you still seem to like to pretend that he's in the running for humanitarian of the year. I can understand hating a team just because you see them as an obstacle to your success, but I just hate the false magnanimity that some people put on like they're somehow nobler because they stick with their team through thick and thin.

Incidentally, it's a good season for me. The baseball offseason is here which is great if you're an Angels fan because Arte Moreno has already vowed to try and get us back into contention, plus our division rival fell apart in the World Series. The Lakers are somehow a kind of quiet 8-0, and some people are talking about how they may be 15-0 before their mettle gets really tested. And this is the most surprising of all...the Raiders are on a three game winning streak. If you want to have a pissing contest about following your team through thick and thin, try being a Raiders fan in this millenium. Although it was good when this past decade started, they have set the mark for NFL futility the last seven years. The craziest thing is that I read the other day about how they could potentially get to the AFC championship game with this group that they currently have. It's still kind of insane that people are even considering that when we're only one game over .500, but it's nice to know that there is some reason to feel optimistic. Even BYU isn't looking nearly as terrible as they did to start the season.

In any case, your Jazz still stink, and they'll lose again to the Lakers in the playoffs just like they have for the last three seasons. Sorry.

Ahhhh, the weekend

I am just diggin' on this song lately.


Oh man, I'm so excited to be done with this week. It's been long in a number of different respects, and today's stuff ended sooner than I had expected it to. I'm excited for TCU to beat Utah tomorrow. I'm excited to just kinda hang out and do whatever. And I'm excited to work on my Dougie.





See y'all later!