My Cup Runneth Over

For every post I try and include an image and when I put the phrase "my cup runneth over" into the search engine, one of the images was a woman that was in a bra that was too small. "My cup (size) runneth over." Obviously I didn't include that, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

One more thing before I get into the meat of the post...I love how much meaning is packed into certain gospel symbols and phrases. It really is just so interesting. The title phrase comes from Psalms, but what is another common association that is drawn with the symbol of the cup in LDS culture? How about "would that I might not drink the bitter cup and shrink"? I think it is just so interesting that the symbol of the cup can have such a vivid and clear association with two things that are in such stark contrast to another, don't you? I was looking at the "word of Christ" or the how "the word" is used in the scriptures. That's a good one too. Anyway...

I'm just feeling especially grateful lately, enough to be able to use that phrase and not feel like my usage of it is trite. So I got accepted into BYU for the program I was hoping to get in and I have been reflecting recently that I'm just really so lucky and blessed to basically have a mulligan when it comes to grad school. Granted, the program that I first started out in wasn't necessarily what I wanted, and I was going through some difficult life moments that took my full attention away from the program, but I pretty much have a chance to have a do over. I don't think I fully realized that until the last couple of days. And I never end up actually fasting on the day of fast and testimony meetings because Sundays is when I can eat all my meals with family, so I fasted during the week this week, and I had a kind of a funny realization.

I had started with a prayer and for the most part the fast felt pretty ordinary. I ended with a prayer in my car before heading over to Quizno's for lunch. As I was waiting for my turkey, bacon, guacamole sandwich I was just overcome with feelings of gratitude. So much so that while waiting in line, and staring at the buttermilk ranch chips, but content with my choice of snickerdoodle as part of my combination, I started tearing up. Being the man that I am, I was able to surpress any visible signs of emotion because again, that's what real men do. However, there was no way to mute the very clear, and very tangible feelings of just immense gratitude that I was feeling at that moment.

The gospel is just such a tremendous blessing. And to be more specific, having the restored gospel as a part of my life has brought me more blessing and opportunity than I could have ever imagined. Sure, I did end up dropping out of school once already and having about a year's worth of school at Claremont did end up costing me some thousands of dollars that I still owe, but I fully realize that I have such a wonderful opportunity to get it right this time. And with all of those feelings that I was having, I also just felt so thankful for all the blessings I have, a few of which I'll list here:

• Friends and family. I know I probably say this a good amount, but I cannot ever emphasize this enough - it is such a privilege for me to associate with the people that I do. I have a friend who at a word's notice this last week agree to help me get our boat ready to sell. Another friend doesn't even bother to ask me to come and eat with him and his wife, he just tells me to come over and partake. One person I know does the most amazing job at making me feel like every thought and feeling I have to express is important. It sounds small, and she probably doesn't even realize how good she is at it, but it means the world to me. I can go on and on about everyone I know, but if you personally know me and read this blog than I can guarantee that at one time or another I've thought something similar about you. Really.
• Reconciliation. It is really such a release, from small things to big ones. All of it counts, and all of it can make a noticeable difference in quality of life. Just earlier this week I kind of blew up at my brother about some stuff that was going on, and I called him up later that day to apologize and it made such a big difference in the type of interaction that followed. It wasn't even of earth-shattering importance, but the difference was in just the attempt at making things right. That's another really interesting word right there, reconciliation, to sit with again.
• Sports. Or even just physical activity. I'm grateful for competition. Grateful that I can play soccer every week, and that I'm even pretty good at it too. I'm grateful for the energy I have, and ability to be physically active. It's nice to actually feel more pained about when I miss out on opportunities to run or be active, than having to feel like it's such a chore to get myself to do it. And don't even get me started on professional sports...the Lakers, March Madness, opening day is coming up...so much good stuff.
• Living in Southern California. I'm really going to miss being here. This weekend I'm going to go and see my two favorite bands, and tomorrow morning I'm going to go shoot guns. I was even thinking it might be nice to go running on the beach tomorrow afternoon. How can you not love this place? There is so much to do.

And I always forget until I fast, but when I'm wrapping it up and say that final prayer just before I eat, there is never a moment in my life than that second when I'm allowed to eat again where I'm more grateful just that I can eat and have sufficient for my needs. It is a funny predicament that we have as Americans where our problem is not the lack of food, but having too much of it.

Fasting and prayer is vital to the worship of any faithful member of the Church. How can we expect to have control over our lives and our own creature when we can't even forgoe a couple of meals once a month? And I don't think there is a time when I'm more grateful for everything in my life than when I'm fasting. This is one of the posts where I don't feel like it has any relevance to any of you, but it means a lot to me, so thanks for sticking through to this point.