“God, how we get our fingers in each other's clay. That's friendship, each playing the potter to see what shapes we can make of each other.”
-Ray Bradbury
My son, who is 16 (and attends boarding school), reads The Economist each week. Last summer, he wrote a letter to the editor, because the tone of every article is so anti-Israel. He said to me, “Mom, don’t they get it? Don’t they see that Israel is our aircraft carrier in the Middle East?” This boy is teaching himself Arabic and wants to be a translator for the Special Forces.
That line made me laugh in surprise. It's amazing that more people don't understand how important Israel is to us. And this from a 16 year old. He could be a sophomore in high school. Impressive, right?
I was watching Almost Famous over the weekend, and I loved this line from it:
The only true currency in this morally bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
For whatever reason that line just really jumped out at me.
It's a short one today, dear ones, but I hope you're having a great day.
Surely you saw earlier this week that director Kevin Smith was kicked off, or whatever it was, on a flight because he was too fat to sit in one seat. I didn't realize until reading elsewhere that the phrase for this predicament is 'customer of size.'
Jay Nordlinger mentioned the story this morning in today's Impromptus column. In it, he mentions web surfing the term, and links to this story by the same name - Customer of Size by Mary Jones. If you have 10 or so minutes to kill, please read the story. It's from an online short story magazine.
The story itself is really good, poignant, and worth your time. I promise you'll enjoy it. It's a great example of great writing done simply. So many people have the tendency to complicate their writing, but wordsmithing is really just about putting the pieces together in a simple way that creates a beautiful mosaic of words and phrases.
I'm about to bid you adieu, but wanted to leave you with this little ditty by The Dirty Heads. I've seen these guys open up for other bands a couple of times, and they are total dirtbags, but I kind of dig their music. This latest song comes from their new album that just released this week, and features Rome of Sublime fame.
So a fond adieu to you. Have a great weekend, dearhearts.
I'm pretty sure that I could spend all day watching Nike commercials. I think if there were Nike commercials on a loop in the areas that I traffic, I'm pretty sure that I would be the most motivated person on the planet. Am I the only person who feels that way? I love the themes that they always draw on - determination, perseverance, stick-to-itiveness.
I need to incorporate some new elements in my workout routines. Lately it's been nice to go running on the treadmill watching the Olympics. I've been watching pretty much anything that's on that I thought I didn't like - curling, cross country skiing, figure skating - but it turns out that I love all of it. It still kind of weirds me out how dainty figure skating is. I don't know if I'll ever get over that, but I was still interested enough to see Evan win the gold last night for the USA.
Anyway, it's been too easy for me to keep up running and lifting weights. I have no problem doing some kind of workout 5-6 days a week, but I need some variation. If I had money I would LOVE to do some MMA training, not so much to actually fight, but I think it would be so much fun and I know it would be a killer workout. Recently I've been wishing that there were somewhere I could put up a rope and do rope climbing. I don't know that I have the right kind of muscle-to-weight ratio that would work for that though, but it'd still be fun to try.
Right now I'm playing with a terrible intramural soccer team that I just jumped on so I could play. I'm getting out for racquetball, but not enough. At least bowling is still going. Incidentally I averaged 160 this last week. I'm almost a scratch a bowler. Is there such a thing? Yup. And I'm almost there. And then there's running and weights.
I think my biggest limitation right now is money, money to pay to go to a Yoga studio or do some kind of martial arts, or money even just to invest in new equipment. I need to start swimming. That's probably my next cheapest-best option for getting a good new workout, but I'm not sure why it's been hard to get out and try it. I think it has a lot to do with just getting over to the pool. I just hate that it's not as close as I'd like it to be. Running has spoiled me in that way where I can either just go out the door and start moving, or down the street to the clubhouse and use the facility there.
Anyway, here is the new Nike commercial that inspired this post.
The other night I was talking to a friend about her dating life (if you haven't noticed, for single people, that's all we really talk about. For married people, talk just revolves around kids. We should both compromise and talk about something mutually interesting...how about supply-side economics? or the Ming Dynasty? you suggest some). She has, what I think, are some valid concerns about him, even though he's mostly just a really good guy. He knows her whole family, has for years and years, and they're really just interested in having her get married, so they apply a hefty amount of pressure on her to go ahead and move forward in the relationship, and she is. The part that would rub me wrong, however, is just how much their ideas about what she should do seem to possibly override the concerns that she has about the relationship.
I have had a number of friends express this feeling about their friends and family - mostly just an inability on the part of friends and family to understand the fact that these people are single, and more is going on than just the inability to commit. There are two people I get this from, and I feel like I get a lot of eye-rolling when I talk about dating and relationships, but from all my friends, you guys have all been amazingly understanding of the ups and downs of this aspect of my life. And really, I just can't say thank you enough for how supportive you all have been. Even when I make bad choices, I still feel an overwhelming amount of understanding and I can't tell you how nice that feels.
I've been thinking lately about how committing to a person is very similar to deciding to getting over someone else - people will move on from someone (or move on to someone) only when they are ready. You can tell a person until you're blew in the face (I know...like mind-bottling, right?) that they just need to cut off the ex, that it's time to let go, but until that person is ready to make the decision him or herself, it's just not going to happen. It doesn't matter how convincing you are or how right your argument may be. It's the same way for committing to be with someone, I think. However great the person, or however much potential it has to work, it's just not going to happen until the person is ready to commit.
Anyway, I'm just grateful that I have people in my corner who are unfailingly supportive. They let me learn from taking my lumps, and I like to think that sometimes I'll take their advice, but I also kind of prefer just figuring it out on my own, and they really allow me to do that without making me feel like an idiot about it. And for that, I'm really grateful.
I was watching Sportscenter the other night and they were showing Top 10 Olympic moments, and the one that always comes at the top of that kind of list is Derek Reynolds running the 400m in Barcelona, tearing his hamstring, and then getting up to finish the race while his father comes from the stands to help him make it to the end. I was watching the Top 10 tearing up thinking about how awesome the Olympics are.
If you ever saw it, you would remember it forever. I was 12 at the time and I remember everything about it.
Of course his dad would be the one wearing the t-shirt that says "have you hugged your..." whatever it says at the end.
Truth be told, I don't have nearly the same love for the winter Olympics that I do the summer ones, but there are still some great things to watch.
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about the Olympics, and she was talking about how much she loves to watch figure skating, and I said that I wasn't a huge fan. Then we had a Chris moment where she was like, "really? you?" Then I laughed, and was kind of surprised too because I love dance and so many other similar things, but I just can't really watch figure skating. I can recognize the gracefulness, the athleticism, but there's just something about it that I just don't enjoy. Costumes, maybe? That it's so obviously kind of fruity? I don't know, just something.
I think my favorite so far was catching some of the US men's hockey destroying the Swiss yesterday, and then the boarder cross on Sunday. Fun stuff.
On another sports note, I am dying to go see a baseball game. Seriously, dying. Pitchers and catcher report next week, finally. I probably won't make it out to spring training, but the thought is always tempting and I'm enormously jealous of you, Laura.
You know what(Kent)? I actually am feeling okay about us this year. We have an awesome young infield - Wood, Aybar, Kendrick, Morales, with Napoli/Mathis catching. Our outfield is definitely aging, but I think Reagins will give us a boost sometime during the season. And I think our pitching will hold up. We're going to have 1 or 2 guys have breakout seasons. I'm feeling optimistic about us.
I don't think it's really any secret that I love Valentine's day. It's so much fun to be in like/love, to be excited about stupid little things.
One of my favorite things about the holiday is going to a flower store and seeing hordes of guys coming in having no idea what they want, and knowing only a favorite color or the amount of money that they want to spend. Some of them are a little more attentive, knowing favorite flowers, but most just know the bottom line of what they want to spend and go for whatever fits in that range.
My routine in those places is the same - go and sit for about 20-30 minutes just looking at all of the arrangements trying to find something that fits what I have in my mind, my budget, and what I think the girl will like. I'll pour over the prearranged flowers for awhile, and then walk over to the loose ones and see if there is some kind of arrangement I can come up with on my own. I think I do a surprisingly good job with that, although I'm always nervous about it when I come out with them in the end.
...Umm...excuse me, do you have something that says I have really enjoyed getting to know you recently, that I think I'm starting to fall in like with you, that I'm thoughtful and worth getting to know some more, but that I don't want to go overboard because I'm not sure where you're at with everything? Do you think daisies communicates that best or tulips? Is white too springy or purple too passionate? Hmmm...thanks...
You know who has pretty amazing deals on flowers and has a wide variety of flowers that haven't been picked over? Supermarkets. Prices are usually much better, and the variety is wide because few people really think about using them to get flowers. A dozen short-stemmed roses at a local florist cost $42, but at Smith's they were $20. Same quality of flowers too.
I think since I've been home from the mission, there has only been one Valentine's day since 2002 when I didn't do at least one some thing for someone. Not all of those years were because I was dating the person or had a hard crush. A couple were just because I wanted to do some thing for someone, even if we were just friends. I've done cards, a couple missionary packages, that kind of thing. I think 2008 was the only year where I did nothing at all. Becca got 2003-2007.
A friend of mine was asking the other day who I regretted dating the most, and the truth is, I don't regret dating any of them, especially the ones I dated the longest even if those ones were the hardest. I came across an old journal from one of those breakups and I couldn't believe how pathetic I sounded during that time. I was just destroyed. So heartbroken, but in spite of however hard those times were, I can't tell you the amount of love I felt, and emphasize enough the valuable lessons I was able to learn from all of them. When I think back about them now, I have nothing but warm feelings and happy memories. Even the ones that were the most complicated and difficult, they've all somehow turned into positives and I think that's something I'm really proud of. If nothing else, the wrong things about relationships past help me to see the right things I want from relationships present and future. It sounds cliche, but I think it's true.
If I sound optimistic, it's because I am, and I don't think it has anything to do with my going through a dating life untouched, without any kind of traumatizing experiences. Trust me, I think I have taken my fair share of stomach punches in that department. I not only look forward to the blossoming of love and bliss in my own dating life, but I'm content and happy with things as they stand now, and that in itself makes me feel even more at ease.
The best part is when I'll be doing my own song and dance about the next one.
Anyway, I hope that on this Valentine's day you're doing as much giving as you are receiving. It's fun to have someone think about you, but I think it's also just as fun to be doing something for someone else, letting them know that you care about them. People love to be loved, and it's important to do our parts in helping them feel those things.
A friend of mine saw this commercial on a blog of a friend of hers, and I just love it. Can't say it enough.
A friend of mine told me the other day about how one of her Facebook friends sent out a mass message to everyone she knew soliciting someone to be their surrogate mother. Inappropriate, but if you want to make $15-20k for about 9 months of work, I can refer you to someone...
Jay-Z is just awesome. And I just love this song.
I kind of love Valentine's day, and I'll have something up about it by then, but in the meantime I hope y'all have a great weekend.
Then today he came out with the following statement:
President Barack Obama said he is “agnostic” about raising taxes on households making less than $250,000 as part of a broad effort to rein in the budget deficit.
Obama, in a Feb. 9 Oval Office interview, said that a presidential commission on the budget needs to consider all options for reducing the deficit, including tax increases and cuts in spending on entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare.
The whole point of it is to make sure that all ideas are on the table,” the president said in the interview with Bloomberg BusinessWeek, which will appear on newsstands Friday. “So what I want to do is to be completely agnostic, in terms of solutions.”
His disapproval numbers are already the highest they have ever been for a first year president. The bank taxes he's proposing will be passed on to the consumer, further stalling the economic recovery, and people are going to get more annoyed that he will most likely be raising taxes during his term in office. November of this year will be very interesting, and so far Obama looks like he's setting himself up for disaster in 2012.
I took a news quiz put out by the PEW research people earlier today. I got 10/12, which I guess is pretty good. You can try it by clicking here.
It feels kind of weird that I don't have more comments about politics. It's kind of same ol' same ol' right now. Obama is doing poorly. The economy is rolling along, but growth might have leveled off for a bit. The market seems to be reacting negatively to all of the budget projections and tax talk lately.
Oh, did you hear this one? A priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar...and the judge who is deciding the Proposition 8 case is gay. Go here is an article from the San Francisco Chronicle about it. And click here to visit a post from NRO about some of the judges actions. Here is an excerpt from that post:
In terms of his judicial performance in the anti-Proposition 8 case, the bottom-line question that matters isn’t whether Walker is straight or gay. It’s whether he is capable of ruling impartially. I have no reason to doubt that there are homosexuals who could preside impartially over this case, just as I have no reason to doubt that there are heterosexuals whose bias in favor of, or against, same-sex marriage would unduly skew their handling of the case.
From the outset, Walker’s entire course of conduct in the anti-Prop 8 case has reflected a manifest design to turn the lawsuit into a high-profile, culture-transforming, history-making, Scopes-style show trial of Prop 8’s sponsors. Consider his series of controversial—and, in many instances, unprecedented—decisions:
Take, for example, Walker’s resort to procedural shenanigans and outright illegality in support of his fervent desire to broadcast the trial, in utter disregard of (if not affirmatively welcoming) the harassment and abuse that pro-Prop 8 witnesses would reasonably anticipate. Walker’s decision was ultimately blocked by an extraordinary (and fully warranted) stay order by the Supreme Court in an opinion that was plainly a stinging rebuke of Walker’s lack of impartiality.
Take Walker’s failure to decide the case, one way or the other (as other courts have done in similar cases), as a matter of law and his concocting of supposed factual issues to be decided at trial.
Take the incredibly intrusive discovery, grossly underprotective of First Amendment associational rights, that Walker authorized into the internal communications of the Prop 8 sponsors—a ruling overturned, in part, by an extraordinary writ of mandamus issued by a Ninth Circuit panel consisting entirely of Clinton appointees.
And on and on...
Anyway, I thought those things were worth bringing up.
Last week I went to Color Me Mine and it was a lot of fun. The girl I went with is very artistic so of course her soup mug thing was really cute and impressive. My spoon rest, however, sucked to high heaven. I knew that it would be a fun date, especially for her, but I also know that I suck at the visual arts. It frustrates the hell out of me because, for the most part, I do everything at least somewhat well. I feel confident in most of my abilities, but if you want me to draw/paint/sculpt or anything like that, then I'm just terrible. It's so funny to me, too, because it's not like I didn't put any effort into it either; on the contrary, I went through some long periods of intense focus only to have my piece come out looking like a 5-year old using his feet did it. How does that make me feel? ...aaaaangry...
For one of my classes we are currently reading Made to Stick. It's a book about what makes some ideas 'stick' more than others. It's a really interesting read, and one of the points that it makes is referred to as the curse of knowledge. Try this simple experiment with someone you know - tap out a familiar song and have the other person try and guess what the song is. Try the simplest songs too like Happy Birthday, the Star Spangled Banner, etc. Some guys at Stanford tried this and most people assumed that the guesser would get most of the songs. How many were they actually able to get? Something absurdly low. I think it was like 3 out of 197 different songs. Why would that be the case? It comes down to the simple fact that there are some instances where you know something and are so familiar with it that you can't even remember what it's like not to know. You tap and the whole song is playing in your head, and you are dumbfounded that the person you're doing it with is such a moron that they can't pick out something as easy as Happy Birthday, only what the other person is hearing is....tap, tap, tap, tap, TAP, TAP, tap, tap, tap tap, TAP TAP...come on! I can't believe you're not getting this! Sometimes having knowledge about a certain something also removes our capacity for empathy. That's a loaded statement and has a lot of implications, but I'll let you draw those on your own.
Dating can be fun sometimes. And why is it that when it rains, it pours? Dating is mostly tedious, but there are some spots when it's just really a good time. I'm remembering how much fun it is to be the guy - to ask out, to assert myself and make decisions, to try and think of fun ways to show that I'm thinking about her or concerned or whatever. Most of the time I feel like the game playing in dating is something more like, hey! why don't you stand up against that wall naked while I fire comments at you and see how self-conscious you can get? Sometimes the game playing is actually fun - is she touching my arm even though she's talking to someone else?...okay, don't get too excited that her favorite TV show is also Scrubs...I think I'm going to reach for her in 3-2-1, now!
This is why NFL football is awesome: the last three seasons the biggest game of the year has also been probably the best game of the year. There are multiple storylines that intersect for the final big game. 2 years ago it was literally David and Goliath - the first ever 18-0 team was playing a 5th or 6th seed, and David kept it close enough that eventually he slew the giant. Last year it was a team with an over the hill QB who shouldn't even be at the helm (how many times is one person, Kurt Warner, going to provide us that scenario?). It was a former assistant coach, now turned head coach, guiding his current team against his former team. This year it was Peyton Manning's attempt at football immortality against the only bandwagon team where it was okay that everyone wanted them to win. Here's the crazy thing too: no team in each of those Super Bowls was even the same, so you should have entirely different fan bases interested in the games, but somehow there is something for everyone to watch and be excited about. How often do you feel that way about baseball? basketball? even college football? I didn't care one lick when the Phillies played the Rays, or when Alabama played Texas, or when the Spurs played the Cavaliers. I'll tune into some games or part of the games, but I'm not sticking around for the whole thing. The NFL just does an impeccable job of making the stories enticing, producing a product that's first class, and having a championship game that really pits the best teams against each other. And because it's only one game, there is also a great chance for something unexpected to happen.
I have more that I want to say, but I really need to get started on my day, so I'll leave you with this song. I feel so lame for liking it, but I think it's so catchy. A friend of mine wanted me to like one of his other songs, but I just couldn't do it, and then I heard this one and was like...oh that's too catchy. I think he only just recently started crawling, but I can see the appeal that he has.
I was thinking last week that it would be kind of fun for you guys to hear about my first memories with you. I'm going to cover only the people who I know (or at least think) read this blog.
We met up on the Select A team for North Irvine when we were 13 years old. Then we had TA at Sierra Vista and we traded David Letterman's Top 10 lists for Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark during SSR. The first time we actually hung out as friends was during registration for 8th grade, and you guys invited me over to Drew's house where we shot at the dog next door with a BB gun, and Drew kept spitting on himself by the pool, and I played Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx on their piano. The rest is history.
The earliest memory I have of you was actually with Greg and we were in the parking lot behind our building, right over by Northwoods, and we were talking about kinds of greetings and hugs. I tried the 'Sacramento Slide' on you. I think you had a blue and white striped shirt on. Bottom was also in attendance.
My memories with you are really vague. I remember one time running into you during freshman year outside of the HBLL library over by the Twilight Zone, near where they used to have the south entrance to the library. The next thing I can remember is going to California with you, and I had gotten new clothes and you complimented me on them. My favorite memories are of you and Brenna yelling down at us in the DT parking lot from your 7th story room, and also the 2-3 months of weekends going clubbing every weekend.
I don't know how often you two come around, but the first thing I remember about both of you is Dave coming back up to the room and talking about how he met some cool guys in the laundry in the basement, or in the elevator. Then there was FHE in DT field, and the constant quoting of Billy Madison. That stupid movie is responsible for so much of my greatest friendships these last 10 years.
I met you at Aaron's house towards the end of August. You had on a brown t-shirt and jeans, and I think your old car was a brilliant blue color. I think that was the only time I ever saw it. We went to the White Sox game with one of his partners, and we sat in the right field upper deck. Mark Buerhle pitched a perfect game through 8 2/3 innings, and everyone around us wanted someone on the Angels to break it up. The Angels were losing badly as it was, and I was in favor of seeing history of getting a stupid hit. Adam Kennedy got a hit and ruined the bid. I don't think we talked really at all, but I loved your baby blues. I think I might have started talking about something I learned at institute in the parking lot on the way back to the car. Random.
I had been sitting on your resume for weeks, but I just didn't feel like getting around to calling on it. I had no reason. I just wasn't following up on yours. Then Michelle told me that she was looking for someone in your area, that you had gone to Provo, and then went on a vacation for about a year and a half. Figuring out that you were a member, I finally called because I was interested in finding out whether you were cute or not. True story. We were having a property meeting down in San Juan Capistrano, everyone was going to be there that needed to have a say in rehiring you, and so we had you come out for that. You had grey slacks and a blue shirt. I loved that you wore glasses, and I thought how much you laughed was really cute. Then I had a direct hand in helping you get your next two jobs. I think you owe me about $25k. Seriously.
I first met you at Wendy Sorenson's birthday party over the summer when we were home from school. You had a white shirt with grey shorts. Then I remember a New Year's party at Tyler's. I don't ever really remember talking to you. You were dating Tyler and I was dating Becca, and I thought you were too pretty to get to know too well.
You left comments on a mutual friend's blog. I thought you were funny, so I followed your link to your blog, thought you were adorable, commented on some old post of yours, and our friendship was born. We actually met almost 2 years ago exactly at Lucille's in Long Beach before you went out to Hawaii.
I met all of you my very first Sunday in this ward. I sat in the back right side of the sacrament meeting room, and I saw the back of the head of who I thought was a friend of mine from when I was 16 years old and played for the Irvine Strikers. It was Eric and he promptly directed me to everyone that he thought I should be friends with. As it turns out, he's actually pretty good at matching people up, considering that he paired up his friend Ben with his wife, and now I'm good friends with all of you. You all seemed really nice, but it took about four months for all of us to actually start hanging out and being friends. It started at the meet, greet, and eat with the Stake Presidency right before Christmas. Then I went to Joe Vera's with several of you. We went to a volleyball game. We played American Idol and Singstar together. I went bowling with you and became friends with you right before you moved back home.
I met you very briefly when you visited our branch in Irvine. It was sometime in September. My friend Debbie said you were really cute and that I should ask you out. I told her that I would wait and see if you came back the next week. I loved your eyes, mostly that they were so big. The next time I saw you was at Aaron's birthday dinner. You showed up just a little late, had on a FIDM sweatshirt and wore a denim skirt. We read scriptures with his family and then said a prayer with them too.
My earliest memory of you was when you guys had wall-to-wall pillows at your house. I also remember playing soccer against your team and you scored a few goals on us. You were a big player who could run with speed and could shoot from the outside. We couldn't match up with you, and it really bugged me.
Not sure if you come around here anymore, but we met while walking to a house up passed the temple where our ward was going to watch the BYU v. TCU game, and J Dawgs was catering it. You were a blonde back then with bangs. You had on a blue long sleeve shirt, and you didn't seem very interested in talking to me. The next interaction we had was months later at one of Nicki's functions. I was sitting off to the side kind of quiet when you started launching questions at me from afar. It made me laugh.
I'm not sure when you started reading this, but my first memory with you was me coming by and you had made orange rolls. Or something orangey. I think I mostly only remember you baking all of the time.
You started coming around her about a year ago. I have no idea what brought you here, but somehow you live in my hometown, and I followed you back to your blog. I thought you were so funny.
I met you at an FHE. You had on an orange t-shirt and jeans. I thought you were cute, but you seemed super sleepy. Part of the activity that night was a group karaoke number and I sang Whoomp There It Is acappella. Yes, I know it well enough that I can sing the whole thing without prompting. You'd be surprised how many rap songs I can do that to.
I know we met before this, but the first memory I have with you is at linger longer after church, and you were playing either AC/DC or Metallica on the piano, and I thought that was so funny. You guys were going to Magic Mountain the following weekend, and you invited me, but I couldn't make it for whatever reason.
Hopefully I didn't leave anyone out. I guess what we can tell from all of this is that I become friends with you based on either, A) your cuteness (and then I even remember what you were wearing the first time I saw you), or B) how funny you are, or C) we played sports together.
Who would have guessed that I have a somewhat regular following? Thanks for playing, everyone!
In my business class we read an article about emotional contagion: the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person's and, consequently, to converge emotionally.
The idea is basically that there exist emotion families, and these come in packages that we communicate to other people. It is comprised of several components including those mentioned above. The amazing thing about this is how quickly it gets communicated, and all of it is pretty much unconscious and automatic.
We've all experienced to a certain degree, right? A friend/spouse/someone else comes in the door all flustered because he/she just got towed and now has to go get the car and pay the fine. You start reacting emotionally, but the thing is you don't realize just how much you are doing so. You mimic conversation patterns, use the same words as the other person. Your facial expressions mirror that of your flustered friend, and from moment to moment you 'catch' another person's emotions.
I actually saw this earlier this week when I was checking out at Walmart. I'm about to finish up my transaction when out of the corner of my eye I notice that the person behind me tries to run around her cart to catch her child that fell backwards out of the seat. She doesn't make it in time. Not only do I hear the thud of the girl's head hit the ground (is there a worse sound than a skull crashing onto the ground?), but I actually felt the impact. The mom is trying to comfort the little girl who is about 3 years old or so, but the 1 year old still in the cart begins sobbing because he senses the commotion and all of the reactions around him even though nothing actually happened to him.
Whoever is feeling the stronger feelings usually communicates those to the recipients around him/her, and this is kind of something innate that people interpret quickly and also quite accurately. A lot of times we think that we can't interpret what others around us are feeling, but where this information becomes most useful is in just asking yourself what it is that you're feeling. Upon interacting with another person, if you start noticing that your mood is altered, then it's probably a safe bet that there is some transference going on.
I thought this whole thing was kind of interesting, and as I've thought about it recently, there is so much that just goes into reading the people around you. There are certain people that you breed a strong familiarity with over time and their cues become obvious. I think with different people we have filters that allow that emotion transference to pass through in varying degrees. The people we're closest to probably don't even have a filter. We just absorb and internalize their feelings immediately.
I guess I've just thought a lot about this in my interactions this week, with certain friends that I know really well to others that I'm only just recently becoming acquainted with. I wish there were some way of just learning another person's cues right away, but at the same time it's kind of fun figuring people out.
Last Saturday I had the opportunity to go to a dinner with the Orem Owlz and they keynote speaker was Mike Scioscia of the Angels. I met with him very briefly before the dinner, shook his massive bearpaw, told him I was from Irvine, and then he asked me what I was doing in Utah. I told him I was going to school, that I've been a fan for years, and thanked him for always putting out such a great product. He's just what you'd expect him to be: he's just a normal guy, with no fanfare and pretense about him. He's really awesome. And. He must be at least 6'2" and just a big guy. I don't have a camera, so I wasn't able to get a picture with him.
The dinner was nice, but the really fun part was listening to him talk. He had some stories about playing for the Dodgers, and he was just a lot funnier than I would have expected him to be. I kinda forget about this, but when you get around just a bunch of dudes, jokes start flying all over the place. It's such a different dynamic than having mixed company, and it's something that I really miss out here in Utah. Some girls are funny, but guys tend to be really funny. I guess maybe being a guy I just appreciate that humor more. Anyway...
One question that I had that he ended up answering was whether it was better to win a World Series as a player or manager. Hands down, he said, it's better to win it as a player. The whole point of the game is to be playing it, and as great as it is to win it all guiding the helm, the reason the game happens is because of players. I thought that was kind of cool. He was taking some final questions and it fell on someone with a Yankees player, who began asking his question when Mike realized that he wasn't an Angels fan and went straight to someone else that was wearing the beloved red halo cap.
I'm kind of itchy for the baseball season to start back up even though I'm not that optimistic considering how much the Mariners were able to upgrade over the offseason. I think I might have found some people to go down to spring training in March. On top of that, I think with these people we have a place to stay. Woo! We'll see though...
I'm not sure why I haven't felt like writing anything. Honestly, I think my journal efforts are tying up a lot of my writing thoughts. I'm writing 600-1000 words a night. That's kind of a lot, right? It surprises me sometimes how verbal I am.
Did you all catch the State of the Union last week? Besides all of the usual stuff, one thing that was really interesting was Justice Alito's reaction to the President's comments. Jim Geraghty at NRO made this observation:
Perhaps it would have been more politic if Justice Alito had managed to remain stone-faced during Obama’s demagoguery, but I find it encouraging and refreshing that, notwithstanding his years in D.C., he retains the capacity to be jarred by lies. (It’s also impressive that Alito was still paying attention; Justice Ginsburg evidently fell asleep during the drone-a-thon.)
And here is the video of his reaction:
I just love seeing that reaction. And can you believe how old Justice Ginsberg looks? I think she's over 90, or close to it at least, and definitely looking her age. Geez. Two of the best things that Bush did while in office was nominate Alito and Roberts to the SCOTUS. Really.
I don't know if I've made this comparison before on here, but I know I've thought about it a lot. Dating is so much like job hunting. The way I was thinking of tonight was just about how that initial interaction matters so much and is pretty much the resume that you're submitting. It makes all the difference in getting you an interview/first date. There has to be something appealing enough that someone thinks you're worth taking a more in depth look at - are you attractive enough? smart enough? nice? funny? spiritual? do you have anything in common? etc.
I always always always hate asking for the first date. I can find every reason to talk myself out of it, but I'll always get around to it eventually. Lately when I find myself up against this problem, I always end up relying on the thought that the girl is just not going to say no. Especially LDS girls, will give just about any guy a chance unless there you give them an explicit reason not to. Plus, I feel confident enough that my resume can at least get me that first interview. It's just the follow ups that I'm not so sure about.
I think everything in my life will be easier and more doable if I just get myself on a schedule. My haphazard way of going through my days just isn't allowing me to be productive enough. Routine is the enemy sometimes, but other times it allows you to figure out how to keep all of the balls in the air.
This whole last month since I've been back in Utah my calendar has been just full of stuff. Here is this week:
Monday - FHE and then over to a friend's house to watch 24 and Heroes.
Tuesday - Two Groundhog's Day parties. Two? Really?
Wednesday - Bowling night. And institute if I feel like it, which I can already tell you is probably a 'no.'
Thursday - dinner and dessert with people in my business class at our professor's house.
Friday - open
Saturday - sledding and hot tubbing up at Soldier Hollow and at a friend's place in Midway.
And that's about what every week has been like every week. I have only Friday open, and I'm hoping that I'll make some plans for that night with a phone call later today. I'll tell you what, asking out a girl for the first time is always the worst.
I keep coming back on Mondays thinking that I don't have that much going on, and then I'll try and make plans with someone and I'll realize that I have no time, unless we're talking middle of the day when I'm supposed to be productive. Daytime hours I'm always available. That's because I'm an idiot.
How am I so busy? I don't know how this happens, but it keeps going this way. Weird.
I finally watched Conan's final episode on The Tonight Show. Kind of emotional, right? And I can't believe how classy he was about everything. What's also funny is hearing some of the stuff that Letterman was saying about Leno, and how they came up with the retirement agreement thing to avoid the fiasco they had when Leno took over the Tonight Show in the first place. Like everyone else, I loved his parting thoughts, and in case you haven't caught them yet or didn't really get a true sense of what he was saying from seeing everyone quote his cynicism point, here it is:
He just seems like a genuinely good guy. And who knew he could wail on the guitar? I'm with Coco.
I don't have much else people. I need to work on some school stuff. Oh...for you Angels fans, tomorrow I get to go to a meet and greet with Mike Scioscia. Yup. You better believe it!
Good things are happening, people. I almost feel like I should be checking to see if the sky will be falling anytime soon just because I have been feeling so good about everything for awhile now. But until then...here's a song to take with you for the weekend.
Was talking to a friend yesterday, the one that's compiling the breakup songs, and I shared one of mine which is a punk song. She immediately turned up her nose and asked if liking punk music is a regional thing, like techno is for Europeans. I agreed at first, but I think it's more a cultural-attitude kind of thing. Europeans have a brand of punk music. Chileans liked it. I used to hear it all the time down there as a missionary, and no, not because I brought it with me and listened to it of my own accord. Like in the streets. I really miss that about South America - that music was always blasting from people's homes and no one thought twice about it. Anyway, it has a lot to do with the skater/surfer/snowboarder culture, and isn't limited to Southern California. While a lot of it is kind rebellious, a lot of it is also rooted in positivity that seems to escape many other brands of music. Anyway, the post title actually comes from a British punk song that I've come to appreciate because it's so wonderfully British punk rock. I don't know how to describe that brand of punk, but this song screams it.
Insight/inspiration/revelation is funny and amazing thing. I feel like I've been doing a really good job lately on keeping my thoughts centered on good things, and it's funny how I see that evidenced throughout my day. Lately I've been studying judgment v. condemnation, and out of nowhere while I was walking to my car from school the thought popped into my head about how restraining prejudiced attitudes towards others is entirely related to extending forgiveness to all people, and I had never made that connection before, but it made perfect sense to me. This morning I was reading about relational ontology for my personality class (which, hopefully, I'll take the time to explain at some point), and then I had a few thoughts materialize out of nowhere about how I can be more productive and how I should alter my prayers. It's just amazing thinking about how God can be involved in the details of our lives if we have our eyes opened to it. Not really related, but if "details" are the small things, then what's the word for big things? Now, more related, while Heavenly Father is completely aware of those "big things" that we have going on, what an incredible evidence it is of his intimate love for us as his children that he would get involved in the minutia of our day to day lives, like how I can avoid being lazy and just get more stuff done. Even those little things matter, and that is so comforting to know.
I can't describe how much I'm loving this personality class. Usually I'm mostly engaged in my readings, but when I read about this stuff I can't believe how interested I am in the material. It almost feels like there is never enough, and I am almost sorry that there isn't more reading when I finish it for the week. I'll really do my best to share some of the stuff we've been learning about, and hopefully I can do it justice, because it's really abstract and those things are hard to explain without being overly wordy. But I tend to do that anyway, so maybe it'll work out fine.
I know that you guys very rarely click on the links that I post on here, but if you ever do click on one, I hope that you would click here. No, it's nothing political or anything like that, because that's so boring and lame, right? I'll just post the intro to the post here:
Anyway, when we have leftover dinner, the permanent roommate packs us both a lunch. Since they look identical, she started leaving a Post-It note so I would know which lunch was mine. At first they just said Chris but I guess she got bored with just writing my name. She started writing funny messages. I saved my favorites.
And here's an example...
So cute, right? I was reading them thinking about how much I wanted to be married to someone like that, and then I realized that we all would probably want that. Anyway, follow the link, there are more.
***UPDATE***The image on the video was getting more attention than the actual post. The song I had posted was actually pretty funny, and country-folksy, and the image had very little to do with the actual song, but y'all got pretty sidetracked by the image. So here's another from the breakup song list. Enyoi!
Not really, but dating sure does. A friend of a friend just went through a "violent" breakup, and my friend is compiling a breakup song compilation, which by the way, is probably one of the most fun and easiest playlists to make. Listening to those songs and the ones she's found has been really funny to me, mostly because I'm not currently going through that heartache, but I'm reminded of all of the old (sometimes pathetic) feelings I had. I think I've come a long way, Deborah, but I'm glad that what I had with you is in the rear view mirror.
Anyway, some of the sad stories I've heard lately:
Girl likes guy, but guy is about a 7 hour drive away, and in the past he's been terrible at keeping up contact.
Girl gets out of long relationship, finds herself in a new one, but circumstances make the new one difficult.
Girl likes boy who carries the baggage of just recently exiting a two year relationship.
Boy is trying to wrestle outside of his weight class, figuratively, and faces the frustration of being in between the types of girls that he attracts and then ones that he is attracted to.
Girl likes boy, but boy is showing most of the signs of interest without asking her on dates.
Long distance. Prior relationship baggage. Liking someone who's just not interested. People sending mixed signals. Just bad circumstances. All of it just kinda makes you crazy, ya know? You do things that you know are against your better judgment. You call when you shouldn't. You make yourself too available. You show too much interest. Pretty much it boils down to you saying or doing the opposite of what you know you should be doing.
When I'm interested in someone, and I'm left without the devices of being able to show direct interest, I find myself asking stupid questions all the time. Is she noticing me? When I'm around her, am I being witty? smart? Am I engaging in conversation? How's my social capital? Is my stock up? Do these jeans work with this shirt? Do I have a booger on my face? Does her roommate like me? Do I like her roommate? Am I too honest? Not honest enough?
You get insecure about the dumbest things, and what's worse, you just can't stop thinking about any of it. You know that you shouldn't worry about things over which you can't control and that haven't happened yet, but you can't help but pour over the prospect of the present and the future with that person. I was telling a friend of mine the other night that it's exactly like when you tell a person to not think about an elephant, and then you can't help but think about the elephant.
Only the elephant, in this case, threatens to trample over you both physically and emotionally. This huge creature with a magnetic draw over you get inside of your mind and he just scrambles your brain, rendering you otherwise useless.
But then sometimes you get the carrot and everything seems worth it. Here's to finding something lasting!
I've said this before, but I really admire the people in my life. Somehow I feel like I've always been so tremendously blessed to associate with what I feel like are the best people this world has to offer.
I think my favorite thing about my parents is that they are the hardest working people I know. They definitely have their faults, but they do anything to provide and make themselves available the best they know how. My dad definitely isn't the most in tune person with feelings and such, and talking with him on the phone is the absolute worst, but anytime I'm home and around him, I always feel like I'm the most important person to him. And that's weird too because he seems so inattentive in other ways, but I've learned more and more as I've gotten older what things he does do well, and that is certainly one of them. When I'm in his presence, I feel like there isn't anyone he loves more than me. My mom is flat out the most giving person I've ever known. She would sooner give you the last $5 she has in her pocket than keep it for herself. Maybe all parents are like that, but I honestly feel like she does more for the people around her than anyone I've ever known. And my brother...he's just always been my hero. The guy has a moral compass like you wouldn't believe. I just love that about him.
Among all the great qualities about my best friend, one of my favorites is that he is probably the most thoughtful person I've ever met. His older brother is actually very much the same way. I actually remember when we first started hanging out in the 8th grade and noticing how aware they were of other people and really admiring and wanting to be like that. He's probably the best gift giver I know of, but maybe that's just because he knows me better than any person on the planet. But that's the thing about him too, he just notices those kinds of things about people. He's so attentive to his wife. I think one of the reasons I love his wife is because of the kind of person that she makes him. He is a better person because of her.
Both of my roommates are just the nicest guys in the world. One of them just always wants other people to be happy and having a good time. And he's kind of adorable because he's just a really simple person, but he's always wanting to provide for other people in so many different ways. Like a few months ago there was a girl that I had mentioned having some interest in, and so he would actually look for her in church for me, even before I could, and always go and sit by her so that when I found him I would also find her. It seems small, but he's just always doing those kinds of things. My other roommate is completely devoted to his family. He has a brother that's down in San Diego that was moving a couple months ago, and he actually took a Friday off from work, flew down, and helped his brother move his entire house the whole weekend, then flew right back up. I've also known him to fly down a couple of times just to accompany his brother on the 12 hour drive from San Diego to Ogden, Utah, while his brother's wife and children flew in to town. I know some people that hardly lift a finger for their own family that are living in the same city, but he'll take off work and pay for his own flight down to help out his siblings. And he's like that with all of his siblings; there are seven others.
My friends here in Utah are just all so great. I feel so fortunate to have built up a network of people here that I really admire. The funny thing is that a lot of these people I probably wouldn't have picked out right away to be friends with, especially in my younger days, but because I didn't know anybody when I came up here, I just opened up to whomever made themselves available to me, and over time, I've been able to meet so many great people. As a whole, about them I can say that they are all so kind, creative in their own ways, and real. They all have so many life experiences, and none of them are very shy about it, so there's so much that I feel like I gain from their insight.
I've even been lucky enough to date really great girls. What I think I can about all of them is that they have all been smart, and they're all really fun to talk to. I guess the conversation aspect of a girl must be the thing I most value because with every single one of them, I feel like I could spend hours on end just sitting around and chatting. They've all been really insightful, and I'm grateful for the experiences I've had knowing them.
I don't know. I was just thinking about a lot of these people on Sunday and I felt so grateful just to know them. There is supposed to be a mutual level of exchange when it comes to relationships, but I always feel like I'm the primary beneficiary. It's so surprising to me how many people I just love hearing from - their stories, what's going on in their lives, how they're feeling.
I was visiting with one friend last night, and most of our association has been in a pretty rough period of life for her, but lately she's been doing pretty well, so it's nice to get to know her as she's been feeling more on top of things. Then later last night I was chatting with one of my closest friends, and I was marveling at how well things have turned out for him with school and finally finding some direction. It's really obvious seeing the Lord's hand in his life the last two years. I don't know. I just love hearing all this stuff, and I love the people in my life.
I'm pretty sure I did a post just like this a couple months ago, and maybe even with the same title, but I feel like I have to give tribute to those around me. I'm glad to know y'all.
You know what amazes me? Prayer. I don't know if your prayers resemble anything like my own, but there are certain stable things that I'll pray for all the time, and I have to admit, in a somewhat half-hearted manner only because it seems like such a far off thing. Like you might pray for world peace, but it's hard to imagine that happening any time soon, right? There are those kinds of abstract, intangible things that you pray for, like say, help me be a better person, and it seems vague and kind of lame to pray for, but that you do honestly hope comes to pass. What's really cool is that when you've been praying for something like that over the course of at least months, and maybe even years, and then you finally start seeing it becoming a reality. I feel like I've been praying for one of those types of things, and I'm actually starting to see those prayers bear fruits and it blows my mind that God is actually mindful of what can seem to be like such a menial request. Ask and ye shall receive...
I started writing a journal again, but like really writing. I know the blog might seem very personal, but there's actually a lot that I don't cover here. I didn't do the thing I normally do where I write one day for the first time in months, try and catch up on everything that's been happening since the last time I wrote, wherein I apologized and agonized for not having written in so long, and vow never to do so again, only to have it happen again the very next time. Instead I just wrote about that day, and I've been doing that all this week, and I'm amazed at how much it helps me to be more self-aware. It's incredibly beneficial. I shouldn't be so surprised, but I totally am. Know something funny about me? Without any prompting or anything, the times when I was a most faithful journal writer (besides the mission) was when I was like 12-16. And I didn't grow up in the church setting where people were always encouraging that sort of thing either. I was a weird, introspective little kid.
I am loving, loving, loving my personality class. It is about to spawn a really long and thoughtful post.
I had my Itunes on shuffle earlier this morning, and this song came on and I started laughing out loud. How in the world did this song become so popular? I was on my mission when it released, and my favorite memory attached to this song was in a district meeting, and Hermana Gee talking about something funny that happened in the week. She was on a bus with a native sister where the song was playing (that's common in Latin America), and the girl asked Hermana Gee to translate the song. She hadn't been paying attention until that moment, and she started translating, "quien solto los perros, quien, quien...wait...what the???" I loved Hermana Gee. She was so down to earth and just awesome. So, for your pleasure...The Baja Men!
