I went to institute tonight and the teacher is Brother Holbrook and the subject is the New Testament. I submit to you that he is about as good as any teacher of religion that I had at BYU. He frequently makes the point that whatever efforts you make to extend your understanding, whether through written expression or verbal, opens up channels of revelation that you wouldn't get otherwise. The mere act of putting pen to paper or vocalizing the thoughts of your heart solidify and extend your understanding of spiritual subjects. I love that idea. And I whole-heartedly believe it.
We just started a new class for the semester and we read a few scriptures about Christ's role, I think they were Isaiah 61:1-3, Luke 3:4-9 (JST), and John 1:1-14 (JST) and he asked us to pick up those things that identify roles that Jesus plays as the Messiah. Then at the end of class he had people share. I sat there quiet and I really did want to say something, but he had to end class. I didn't bear my testimony on Sunday at testimony meeting because I was going to be teaching in Elders Quorum and I've been bearing my testimony nearly every month anyway. I feel like it's been overkill. But I've been aching to talk spiritual stuff even though I feel like a lot of my recent conversations have touched on that area. Anyway, I have several thoughts and this will serve as my outlet.
The phrase that I liked the most that identified a role he plays is that he binds the broken-hearted. I don't think I've been through anything much worse than anyone else has had to endure in their lives, but I feel like I've been through a good amount this past year or so. There are a few phrases in the church that I just absolutely love. Speaking of experiences in the Martin Handcart company, one member said that they became acquainted with God in their extremeties. I also love the imagery that goes along with lifting up the hands which hang low, and strengthening the feeble knees. I associate all these phrases with one another and center them all around the Lord. In so many ways I have felt better acquainted with God and his son Jesus Christ in my extremeties, and in those times of greatest need I feel like I have felt him bind up my broken heart, lift up my hands, and strengthen my knees. It is something so personal and intimate and while I never would have sought out the trials and phases that I've experienced, I am grateful for them because they have helped me to better understand the Savior and his messianic role.
I'd like to say also that feeling the spirit is such a singular experience. It is so indescribable, but at the same time so exhilirating. I got to teach the lesson in Elders Quorum on Sunday and as I testified toward the end about living prophets, I felt the spirit. And it was so cool to not only feel that confirmation of my beliefs, but to have the confidence to know that what I was saying would help draw others toward God. And it wasn't anything overwhelming, but just a warmth that reached from my core outward. I'm so grateful to be able to recognize that and see it for what it is.
On Saturday morning my mom came in my room and talked with me for a bit. My brother had given her a Bible to read as we began to experience our most recent challenges. Sometime ago I had given her a Book of Mormon in Portugeuse, but she kind of put it away so I took it back. But then I thought to give it back to her a couple weeks ago. And she started reading it. Well, last Saturday she just started asking me questions and I was able to give her the first discussion. I talked about God and his purposes, the role of Jesus in God's plan, how prophets teach us of the plan, and how the Book of Mormon gives us another witness of Christ. It was the most interested I've ever seen from her in the church, and the most open. It really reminded me of Alma 32 and how those people who had been humbled were in a preparation to hear the word. That was my mom. Not as much as I'd like her to, but more than I've ever seen. It was really cool. But she's read from the beginning up through 1 Nephi 12. That's more than a lot of investigators I've known, even some converts. We'll see.
I'm so grateful to have served a mission, and to be serving now in the church. I'm grateful for the living testimony I have of the gospel, this church, and of the blessings of the restoration of the true church of Jesus Christ. I have had so much instability the last couple of months in my personal and family life, and most recently even with work, but I can always be sure of my foundation which is on the Lord and his gospel.
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