Independence Day

So...Transformers never happened, and in lieu of Transformers Dave and I were dorks and played videogames until 2 in the morning, which turned out to be more frustrating than fun. As a result of that, I couldn't get up early enough to go to any kind of patriotic celebrations, but I think we did a good job of incorporating great American traditions:

barbeque

super gay pictures at the beach

whiffleball

horseshoes

and the timeless American tradition, watching the drunk guy resist arrest

This was the exclamation point on a wonderful day.

Here's the story: Behind where we were setup, this guy and his two little girls had been camped out as well. While enjoying the beach and playing with his girls, he did what any responsible parent would do and begins pounding cold ones all day long, until eventually he's so inebriated that he can't really even stand up. The lifeguards begin notifying the police and so two female officers make their way over.

They begin what I imagine to be an incoherent, non-sensical conversation with this man whose little girls by now have gone somewhere else, I have no idea where (the girls in this story were like 8 and 12, so not completely helpless, but old enough to be scarred for life, I'm sure). After a minute or two, they ask him to open up his backpack, and now he starts to get belligerent.

He refuses. They tell him to open it or they will put him under arrest, so he obliges through non-compliance and they start to handcuff him. They handcuff one arm, but then he starts struggling and so they try to pin him on the ground. Now being overpowered, the female officers resort to their tazers and he probably got like three good five second bursts of tazers to the neck and back. And like a mother lifting a car off her bruised and battered child, he is endowed with a sudden burst of strength and fluidity of motion, only this is so he can begin his run away from the officers down to the shore.

Looking spry and nimble he's pumping his arms with one handcuff dangling, and for a second I think anyone watching was thinking this guy might get away. And then remembering his blood alcohol level was probably whole numbers at this point, he begins teetering and plows headlong into the sand after about 100 yards. The officers catch up and one of them pulls out some kind of rod and is striking him almost like you'd strike an annoying little brother with one of those water noodles you buy at Costco, not really wanting to hurt but letting him know you're there. Still fighting, the man might have gotten away again if about 100 other policemen didn't converge. Then some male officers subdue him by planting a foot firmly on his ear, pinning his head to the ground and finally finishing the job.

Although we didn't get to really see much of the fireworks because there were no nearby displays, I think that was probably my favorite 4th of July ever.